Schism
I've been keeping a black book more often than not lately. Chronicling my thoughts, helping the little dude inside my head to just shut the fuck up. I like the colorful little philosophical thoughts or tiny daily poems I come up with, it's nice. But I've come to the realization that the way I think, the way I process information, and the way I feel has all changed drastically in a small amount of time. No longer am I the over-emotional romantic wearing his heart on his sleeves. The naivete that goes with that has died. I'm by no means a stone hearted calloused man. I hate to think that I'm losing my sensitivity. I like to think I still have it more so than others. Perhaps not as much as women do. I like to believe I'm painfully aware of my surroundings. I'm still that sensitive chap... only in an evolved form. A refined form. I've learned to keep certain things to myself, and to not allow myself to become vulnerable to others. But I find things I used to do that people would call "sweet" stupid, and a waste of time. When I was younger I was a product of society and the media, I'm beginning to stray from that as much as humanly possible. I'm much less emotional and much more pensive.
It'd be nice to have warm blood flow through me again, to write something passionate... but this pensive hilltop is a nice place as well, a different view of course but still nice. This entry marks a schism, a separation between the naive romantic and the pensive realist that took his place.
I hate that term "realist" it carries a negative connotation with it... like a synonym for cynic... but reality isn't all about negativity, there are too many positives and eons of grey matter and ambivalence in between to consider someone who looks at things realistically to be a cynic. Keep this in mind.
Schism - a split or division between strongly opposed sections or parties, caused by differences in opinion or belief
-Ciao-
Dave
It'd be nice to have warm blood flow through me again, to write something passionate... but this pensive hilltop is a nice place as well, a different view of course but still nice. This entry marks a schism, a separation between the naive romantic and the pensive realist that took his place.
I hate that term "realist" it carries a negative connotation with it... like a synonym for cynic... but reality isn't all about negativity, there are too many positives and eons of grey matter and ambivalence in between to consider someone who looks at things realistically to be a cynic. Keep this in mind.
Schism - a split or division between strongly opposed sections or parties, caused by differences in opinion or belief
-Ciao-
Dave