The Value of Yourself
I never ever thought of myself as the kind of person that was influental on anyone. Ever. I mean, I've always felt like I needed someone else to reassure me, to help me along the way, and to help me with some sort of wisdom, or some random word, that could make me feel normal.
Apparently I've been doing that for other people and not even realizing it. I spent one weekend on a retreat, with a small group of six people, and all five of them that had to say something about me said I was an amazing person that didn't say much, but when I said something, it was always so meaningful, and so valuable and helpful. They also said I didn't care what other people thought, I just did my own thing, which suprized me, with how often I feel I need reassurance that I can do something myself. My roommate today also told me that she was glad for the random conversations we had, because the last one we had on periods helped her relax about not having hers, and how she ended up having one two days later.
Little things like that have been happening all over the place lately. It just seems so surreal to be making up all the things I'm searching for. Especially since life is so hectic now with school and trying to find a job and things of that nature. It's really just so strange to still be considered something both beautiful(I've gotten so many "You look so nice"'s in the pile too lately, after an entire summer of "Go to the gym!") and so reliable and resourceful. It's gratifying and scary at the same time. But I suppose that's what happens when you start to grow as a person. Things just sneak up on you.
Apparently I've been doing that for other people and not even realizing it. I spent one weekend on a retreat, with a small group of six people, and all five of them that had to say something about me said I was an amazing person that didn't say much, but when I said something, it was always so meaningful, and so valuable and helpful. They also said I didn't care what other people thought, I just did my own thing, which suprized me, with how often I feel I need reassurance that I can do something myself. My roommate today also told me that she was glad for the random conversations we had, because the last one we had on periods helped her relax about not having hers, and how she ended up having one two days later.
Little things like that have been happening all over the place lately. It just seems so surreal to be making up all the things I'm searching for. Especially since life is so hectic now with school and trying to find a job and things of that nature. It's really just so strange to still be considered something both beautiful(I've gotten so many "You look so nice"'s in the pile too lately, after an entire summer of "Go to the gym!") and so reliable and resourceful. It's gratifying and scary at the same time. But I suppose that's what happens when you start to grow as a person. Things just sneak up on you.