Original

[texasminx]

Maybe if I got paid to write then I would do it more often...and actually go back and revise. But I don't get paid, and I'm super lazy, so y'all are left with this

Comments

[jpitney]

oh, Jen, the changes you made. Wow! This is great. Very powerful.

[texasminx]

Aw, thanks, Jenn. You always make me feel so great about my writing. Love you! :)

[jpitney]

I do my best. *grin*

[jk_salmeier]

Great job, Jen! I like that additions that you made to the this story. You can really feel the grief that Jason is going through. I didn't read the version you turned in earlier, but I like this one.

I think your professor liked it if he said its "solid work".

Pat your self on the back for this one.

[texasminx]

Aw....thanks.

Oh my...I forgot to give you props for helping me with this. Forgive me?! ;)

[jk_salmeier]

No need to ask for forgiveness or to give me credit. You did this one on your own and you did a great job. I just merely pointed out some suggestions :)

The first time he goes to sleep in his own bed and sees Lara's face, was so nicely written. Very emotional. In the end, I like that Jason not only does his own laundry, but he also opens the closet door.

[texasminx]

I'm grateful for those suggestions. Especially the one about him opening the closet door. :)