Don't Buy the Lie
Dispelling the Myths of Homeschooling
When I began to homeschool 6 years ago this is the picture that I envisioned
for my children: Me. coming out of my room after an hour or so of prayer and
Bible study, my makeup freshly applied, my hair perfectly groomed, wearing a
dress that I had made myself. My children sitting at the table having finished
their breakfast of warm baked bread and homemade jam
( from berries that we had picked while studying native vegetation.) They
would have already cleaned their rooms and made their beds while singing hymns
of gratitude for all their blessings. Then they had eagerly come to the table
in anticipation of today's learning. The older children working happliy on
next weeks lessons because they worked ahead just for the sheer joy of
learning, while the younger child sits quitely nearby playing with legos and puzzles.
What my children actually see looks more like this...
Me, in my house robe staggering out of my room heading for the coffee pot,
the only prayer on my lips is “Please help me through this day Lord”, my face
lined with pillow creases, and my hair limply hanging in my face .
My children are either sleeping in late, or sitting at the table waiting for
me to get the presweetened poison... I mean cereal, down for them. They fight
and argue over who gets the last bit of Cookie Crisp or the last pop tart.
Their beds haven’t be made, mine either for that matter, their rooms might have carpet, I don’t remember seeing it lately. Instead of singing hymns of
thanksgiving I hear howls of dissent “Mom! Tell her to stop looking at me!”
“I’m not looking at her!” Then later that morning...after I announce it is time for school I hear moans, groans, & deep sighs of semi silent protest. To which I give the to universal homeschooling response “Your lucky to be home, you could have been in school for 3 hours already!”
The above is a true picture of homeschooling in my home. My children are
fallen sinners saved by grace, they are not perfected by any means, but I know
that by training, teaching, and guiding them at home they are learning to lean on the Lord to make up for my own short comings as a teacher.
So what are some of the myths out there about homeschooling? There are many
that cast a negative shadow over homeschooling and then there are some
positive qualities of homeschooling that may lead one to feel they are failing at homeschooling because their children do not seem to line up with all the
success stories.
Myth #1
The number one myth you will hear is that of “Socialization”
That homeschooled children are lacking in opportunities for social
interaction. How many have already run into this myth?
There are many opportunities for homeschooled children to get together for
activities. Bowling, Toastmasters, study groups, monthly field trips, Keepers,
park days, recitals, and Perot outings --- the list goes on and on. And,
although all families do not enjoy access to this wide variety, most do have the opportunity to play sports, to join community groups like scouts or 4-H and to participate in their own church programs.
Children have the opportunity to develop friendships with children of widely
varying ages. They learn social skills from their families.
Now all that said let me share with you the flip side. I have a child who
is very introverted, & shy she has a hard time fitting in groups, she does much better with a one on one relationship. So far we haven’t participated in many park days because it is stressful for her. She will not be the first one to introduce herself into a group. Because she is better at one on one relationships, she has a hard time understanding group dynamics. She feels left out of group discussions. Would sending her to public school “cure” her? Would she thrive in a group setting like a classroom? As parents we are in tune with our children's needs. We have to see the difficulties, not deny them, and with the Lords leading devise a plan to overcome the obstacles. My child isn’t your child, she isn’t like the outgoing girl who is popular in Sunday School or at park day. But one of her strengths is loyalty, once she is your friend you have a friend for life.
Homeschooling allows you to really know your child, their personality,
weaknesses and strengths. We have the privileged to encourage their strengths, andbuild up their weaknesses.
Myth #2
Homeschooled children lack "real world" experience.
Reality: Homeschooled children live very much in the "real world." Life is
not "on hold" during the day for homeschooling families. These children learn at an early age how to succeed in the world at large because they participate in it with their families. They, for instance, shop, bank, and visit nursing
homes. Older children volunteer in the community, hold part-time jobs, and take classes.
One mom posted on an online message board that one of the arguments she
faced was that her child will never learn how to wait in line if they don’t go to school! Well isn’t that interesting? Yes one of the first lessons taught in preschool is to stand in line...then they have 13 years of practice. Our homeschooled children learn to stand in line in the “real world” at the grocery store, the bank, and at the library.
Myth #3- All homeschooled children finish high school around age 14, with
IQ’s off the charts. I don’t think I need to elaborate too much on this
one....
Myth #4
Myth: Homeschoolers all homeschool in the same way.
Reality: The real strength of homeschooling is that each family can choose and implement that which works best for its children and its situation. They are not limited to a "one-size-fits-all" curriculum, time frame, or education philosophy. Children can be given the gift of time to learn at a pace that meets individual needs and the resources to learn through their strengths.
Coupled with Myth #4 is Myth #5 There is a perfect curriculum!
I have to interject here that there are homeschooling curriculum other then
Bob Jones and Abeka. You have to remember that Abeka and BJ are fine text
books with a Christian perspective written to be use in a classroom setting. If this is how your child learns best, great! But be willing to find and work
with your child's strengths and discover a curriculum that is well suited for
him. There are MANY wonderful curriculums out there written specifically for
homeschooling one or more children. Now , beware that you can’t possible use
everything you see and/or like! I am a curriculum junkie. For years I
bounced from curriculum to curriculum , I’d buy one, used, look it over a while then decide if I wanted to keep it or not. If not I’d sell it on one of the many used curriculum sites online then find another curriculum that struck my fancy. I finally found something that is great for me and my children.
Also don’t compare your children's academic performance with others. This is
very hard to do, I know. Buying the same curriculum as another family does
not guarantee that same results!
Myth #6 There is a perfect homeschool model.
There is no such thing as the perfect homeschool family You will have
wonderful days and days where you want to pull your hair out and quit. Don’t quit!
Each year will have it’s own challenges, in some ways homeschooling will
become easier and better, but new demands await you! One thing we have to remember
is, we have to do what works for OUR families, and God did not make us from
a cookie cutter mold. What works for one family, may not be the best that
God has in mind for your family.
Don’t be afraid to ask advice for a problem you are facing, There are many who have years of experiance and are willing to help you, and pray for
you. Remember they are imperfect as well and have their own hidden challenges.
If we keep our problems to ourselves we end up staying in place and getting
nowhere. Growth is forward movement, don’t get stalled out and bogged down,
hiding your problems or failures. Learn about your children and the options
available to you. What are your goals for your children? Work towards them a
little everyday.
Somedays it is hard to tell if I’m having any impact at all, when the girls
argue about meaningless things, when the house is a shambles, and the science
experiment didn’t work. Then there are the days when the girls surprise me by
doing the laundry, read books to their little sister, and I overhear one
telling another that "doing what God wants is not always the easiest thing but is the best thing." Those are the moments that keep me on this road the Lord has lead me down, knowing that His goals will be reached.
When I began to homeschool 6 years ago this is the picture that I envisioned
for my children: Me. coming out of my room after an hour or so of prayer and
Bible study, my makeup freshly applied, my hair perfectly groomed, wearing a
dress that I had made myself. My children sitting at the table having finished
their breakfast of warm baked bread and homemade jam
( from berries that we had picked while studying native vegetation.) They
would have already cleaned their rooms and made their beds while singing hymns
of gratitude for all their blessings. Then they had eagerly come to the table
in anticipation of today's learning. The older children working happliy on
next weeks lessons because they worked ahead just for the sheer joy of
learning, while the younger child sits quitely nearby playing with legos and puzzles.
What my children actually see looks more like this...
Me, in my house robe staggering out of my room heading for the coffee pot,
the only prayer on my lips is “Please help me through this day Lord”, my face
lined with pillow creases, and my hair limply hanging in my face .
My children are either sleeping in late, or sitting at the table waiting for
me to get the presweetened poison... I mean cereal, down for them. They fight
and argue over who gets the last bit of Cookie Crisp or the last pop tart.
Their beds haven’t be made, mine either for that matter, their rooms might have carpet, I don’t remember seeing it lately. Instead of singing hymns of
thanksgiving I hear howls of dissent “Mom! Tell her to stop looking at me!”
“I’m not looking at her!” Then later that morning...after I announce it is time for school I hear moans, groans, & deep sighs of semi silent protest. To which I give the to universal homeschooling response “Your lucky to be home, you could have been in school for 3 hours already!”
The above is a true picture of homeschooling in my home. My children are
fallen sinners saved by grace, they are not perfected by any means, but I know
that by training, teaching, and guiding them at home they are learning to lean on the Lord to make up for my own short comings as a teacher.
So what are some of the myths out there about homeschooling? There are many
that cast a negative shadow over homeschooling and then there are some
positive qualities of homeschooling that may lead one to feel they are failing at homeschooling because their children do not seem to line up with all the
success stories.
Myth #1
The number one myth you will hear is that of “Socialization”
That homeschooled children are lacking in opportunities for social
interaction. How many have already run into this myth?
There are many opportunities for homeschooled children to get together for
activities. Bowling, Toastmasters, study groups, monthly field trips, Keepers,
park days, recitals, and Perot outings --- the list goes on and on. And,
although all families do not enjoy access to this wide variety, most do have the opportunity to play sports, to join community groups like scouts or 4-H and to participate in their own church programs.
Children have the opportunity to develop friendships with children of widely
varying ages. They learn social skills from their families.
Now all that said let me share with you the flip side. I have a child who
is very introverted, & shy she has a hard time fitting in groups, she does much better with a one on one relationship. So far we haven’t participated in many park days because it is stressful for her. She will not be the first one to introduce herself into a group. Because she is better at one on one relationships, she has a hard time understanding group dynamics. She feels left out of group discussions. Would sending her to public school “cure” her? Would she thrive in a group setting like a classroom? As parents we are in tune with our children's needs. We have to see the difficulties, not deny them, and with the Lords leading devise a plan to overcome the obstacles. My child isn’t your child, she isn’t like the outgoing girl who is popular in Sunday School or at park day. But one of her strengths is loyalty, once she is your friend you have a friend for life.
Homeschooling allows you to really know your child, their personality,
weaknesses and strengths. We have the privileged to encourage their strengths, andbuild up their weaknesses.
Myth #2
Homeschooled children lack "real world" experience.
Reality: Homeschooled children live very much in the "real world." Life is
not "on hold" during the day for homeschooling families. These children learn at an early age how to succeed in the world at large because they participate in it with their families. They, for instance, shop, bank, and visit nursing
homes. Older children volunteer in the community, hold part-time jobs, and take classes.
One mom posted on an online message board that one of the arguments she
faced was that her child will never learn how to wait in line if they don’t go to school! Well isn’t that interesting? Yes one of the first lessons taught in preschool is to stand in line...then they have 13 years of practice. Our homeschooled children learn to stand in line in the “real world” at the grocery store, the bank, and at the library.
Myth #3- All homeschooled children finish high school around age 14, with
IQ’s off the charts. I don’t think I need to elaborate too much on this
one....
Myth #4
Myth: Homeschoolers all homeschool in the same way.
Reality: The real strength of homeschooling is that each family can choose and implement that which works best for its children and its situation. They are not limited to a "one-size-fits-all" curriculum, time frame, or education philosophy. Children can be given the gift of time to learn at a pace that meets individual needs and the resources to learn through their strengths.
Coupled with Myth #4 is Myth #5 There is a perfect curriculum!
I have to interject here that there are homeschooling curriculum other then
Bob Jones and Abeka. You have to remember that Abeka and BJ are fine text
books with a Christian perspective written to be use in a classroom setting. If this is how your child learns best, great! But be willing to find and work
with your child's strengths and discover a curriculum that is well suited for
him. There are MANY wonderful curriculums out there written specifically for
homeschooling one or more children. Now , beware that you can’t possible use
everything you see and/or like! I am a curriculum junkie. For years I
bounced from curriculum to curriculum , I’d buy one, used, look it over a while then decide if I wanted to keep it or not. If not I’d sell it on one of the many used curriculum sites online then find another curriculum that struck my fancy. I finally found something that is great for me and my children.
Also don’t compare your children's academic performance with others. This is
very hard to do, I know. Buying the same curriculum as another family does
not guarantee that same results!
Myth #6 There is a perfect homeschool model.
There is no such thing as the perfect homeschool family You will have
wonderful days and days where you want to pull your hair out and quit. Don’t quit!
Each year will have it’s own challenges, in some ways homeschooling will
become easier and better, but new demands await you! One thing we have to remember
is, we have to do what works for OUR families, and God did not make us from
a cookie cutter mold. What works for one family, may not be the best that
God has in mind for your family.
Don’t be afraid to ask advice for a problem you are facing, There are many who have years of experiance and are willing to help you, and pray for
you. Remember they are imperfect as well and have their own hidden challenges.
If we keep our problems to ourselves we end up staying in place and getting
nowhere. Growth is forward movement, don’t get stalled out and bogged down,
hiding your problems or failures. Learn about your children and the options
available to you. What are your goals for your children? Work towards them a
little everyday.
Somedays it is hard to tell if I’m having any impact at all, when the girls
argue about meaningless things, when the house is a shambles, and the science
experiment didn’t work. Then there are the days when the girls surprise me by
doing the laundry, read books to their little sister, and I overhear one
telling another that "doing what God wants is not always the easiest thing but is the best thing." Those are the moments that keep me on this road the Lord has lead me down, knowing that His goals will be reached.