(no subject)
I want someone to see all my light and to love my dark. I want someone to love EVERYTHING about me and to think that I am beautifully flawed.
As I was walking across campus the other night with tears streaming down my face I was so overwhelmed by life but not in a good way and for a brief moment I think I felt a small piece of the desperation that people who kill themselves feel. I felt like I understood what they must feel like when they do it. I felt such a hopeless feeling very alone and like I didn't belong where I was but at the same time not knowing if I belong anywhere. I felt like I had no direction and that I'm just very lost and invisible in an unforgiving and unexcepting world. I am not suicidal not at all I just over think things and feel things with my whole heart. A lot of people don't understand or accept this about me. I think the way I analyze things and to the depth of which I consider things makes some people uncomfortable. One day someone will truly love this about me and will embrace it and then maybe I will feel like someone truly gets me.
As far as finals go... who effing cares! I have never been so stressed out in my entire life but really is it all that important? NO! There are a billion things more important than stupid end of the semester exams.....like LIFE and being happy. If I don't make perfect grades or hell even if I bomb all my exams it is probable that I will still live a long and healthy life. It is all gonna work out how it should and if its not the way I wanted it to be I will have peace in the fact that its that way b/c that is how it was meant to be.
As I was walking across campus the other night with tears streaming down my face I was so overwhelmed by life but not in a good way and for a brief moment I think I felt a small piece of the desperation that people who kill themselves feel. I felt like I understood what they must feel like when they do it. I felt such a hopeless feeling very alone and like I didn't belong where I was but at the same time not knowing if I belong anywhere. I felt like I had no direction and that I'm just very lost and invisible in an unforgiving and unexcepting world. I am not suicidal not at all I just over think things and feel things with my whole heart. A lot of people don't understand or accept this about me. I think the way I analyze things and to the depth of which I consider things makes some people uncomfortable. One day someone will truly love this about me and will embrace it and then maybe I will feel like someone truly gets me.
As far as finals go... who effing cares! I have never been so stressed out in my entire life but really is it all that important? NO! There are a billion things more important than stupid end of the semester exams.....like LIFE and being happy. If I don't make perfect grades or hell even if I bomb all my exams it is probable that I will still live a long and healthy life. It is all gonna work out how it should and if its not the way I wanted it to be I will have peace in the fact that its that way b/c that is how it was meant to be.