(no subject)

[texasgurl2006]

So Thanksgiving break was interesting but in a very good way. I was so excited to go home and see everyone because I really do miss Birmingham so much. I think I have realized that even though I miss home so much I don't think I could go back there well at least not right now. I am in a really weird place right now and most days I don't feel like I fit anywhere. I don't completely fit in where I am at yet but my place in Alabama doesn't feel the same anymore either. I was feeling very lonely and alone on the plane ride back to Texas and I think it is beautiful that sometimes when we are in the worst states of being God finds us and picks us up. My plane was taking off from Birmingham and I had uncontrollable tears streaming down my face and I am sure the person beside me was terribly disturbed by my silent outbreak haha but anyways I was kinnda just an emotional wreck and I had this amazing feeling rush over me that everything was going to be ok. Not much has been going my way this semester or at least it has not gone as I expected it to go but in that moment I felt God saying to wait on him and his timing because it is all gonna get better. I think I am strangely optimistic I enjoy that quality about myself but I do think it is rare and rather strange. I know some amazing things are gonna start happening in my life probably not tonight or even tomorrow but rather in God's timing and I am more than ok with that. I was reading the book Blue Like Jazz on my way back to Waco and may I first say that it is amazing and everyone should read it. A lot of things just spoke to me. It is funny to me how God chooses to show me certain things and it is also funny to me how God shows me things multiple times because he knows me and he knows I am stubborn and usually don't get things the first time. I am learning to be strong in my faith and as an individual. Do I do a perfect job at it?....No but I am also realizing that isn't the important part the important part is that I get up every morning and strive for perfection sure I fail every single day but I try and God doesn't expect me to succeed at everything just do do my best and not stop trying. I headed back to Baylor in horrible spirits I felt like I was seeping into a deep depression but by this afternoon I was back to my weird self having dance parties in the front seat of Ellie's car and freaking out all the drivers around us on I35. Life is oh so sweet and I am just glad I feel that way. I had a realization about life I have been having a lot of those lately but I realized that most grownups don't really seem to enjoy life and well I hope I always do no matter how old I get.

*So you were 20 feet away from me and we just let the moment past like we always have and like we always do and to think that the only thing in our way was a pair of ugly red sweat pants *