it was bound to happen sometime...
tonight i cried.
i mean, i cry all the time, but that's generally (at least as of late) cuz i'm watching something sappy or because i'm happy.
tonight i REALLY cried. like there was extreme emotion behind it and whatnot. but hey, in my defense, my emotional breakdowns have been way fewer and far between in the last 6 months since i moved here. and i AM happy here. i just suffered... ohhh, a major blow. i mean, the biggest blow you could basically think of. so yeah... mariah said even the sanest most rational person would feel sad over this... and we all know i'm not very sane or rational. haha. well, i'm pretty sane i guess... right? hehehe
i don't wanna be sad. i hate being sad. but it has to happen sometimes i guess. and EVERYTHING can't go well in my life all at the same time, right? right.
anyway, in good news, mariah got a job and an apartment today. pretty freaking awesome. not to mention i have one of my best friends living here from now on. so that rocks. and bryce is back from tahiti. also pretty rad. AND i get to see EP tomorrow. THANK GOD! i have been dying over here.
so basically i need to get over being sad so i can fully appreciate all the things i have going for me.
oh and to the person who made me cry... ha, you probably will never know it, but this is what i'd say to you if i could: fuck you. fuck your pathetic ball-lessness. fuck your petty, 12-year-old mentality. fuck you for leaving me hanging. fuck you for making ME your dog-eared page and getting my hopes up anytime you needed someone or got lonely. fuck you for making me think that things would go back to how they used to be if i moved here. fuck you for always singing that stupid line of your stupid song to me. fuck you for making me fall in love with you four years ago and not letting me move on when you clearly had. next time when you come back looking for friendship or more, you get nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch. YOU LOSE!!!!!
THAT is all.
ahhh, i feel way better now.
i mean, i cry all the time, but that's generally (at least as of late) cuz i'm watching something sappy or because i'm happy.
tonight i REALLY cried. like there was extreme emotion behind it and whatnot. but hey, in my defense, my emotional breakdowns have been way fewer and far between in the last 6 months since i moved here. and i AM happy here. i just suffered... ohhh, a major blow. i mean, the biggest blow you could basically think of. so yeah... mariah said even the sanest most rational person would feel sad over this... and we all know i'm not very sane or rational. haha. well, i'm pretty sane i guess... right? hehehe
i don't wanna be sad. i hate being sad. but it has to happen sometimes i guess. and EVERYTHING can't go well in my life all at the same time, right? right.
anyway, in good news, mariah got a job and an apartment today. pretty freaking awesome. not to mention i have one of my best friends living here from now on. so that rocks. and bryce is back from tahiti. also pretty rad. AND i get to see EP tomorrow. THANK GOD! i have been dying over here.
so basically i need to get over being sad so i can fully appreciate all the things i have going for me.
oh and to the person who made me cry... ha, you probably will never know it, but this is what i'd say to you if i could: fuck you. fuck your pathetic ball-lessness. fuck your petty, 12-year-old mentality. fuck you for leaving me hanging. fuck you for making ME your dog-eared page and getting my hopes up anytime you needed someone or got lonely. fuck you for making me think that things would go back to how they used to be if i moved here. fuck you for always singing that stupid line of your stupid song to me. fuck you for making me fall in love with you four years ago and not letting me move on when you clearly had. next time when you come back looking for friendship or more, you get nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch. YOU LOSE!!!!!
THAT is all.
ahhh, i feel way better now.