I guess

[texasboy720]

I'm going to start writing in this LJ again.
It's been a long, long time.
I look back through these entries, and I'm such a different person now.
I had a wonderful girl for 1.5 years, and gave her up.
I miss her, but maybe it was for the best.
If she and I are meant to be, one day we'll get back together.
I've finally accepted that whatever happens is beyond my control.
I wish we could be friends though.
One day.

I've come to learn that life is rough.
Many people seem like their sole purpose in life is to screw you over.
I hate that, but that is just how the world seems to be.
I don't want to be like that, I don't want to screw people over.
I'm learning to live life as it comes to me, instead of trying so hard for things I cannot control.
I'm tired of trying for things that I have no control over.
I'm also tired of people who say that they care, then do nothing about it. Another thing I have to learn to deal with.

Things are so different now.
My heart is in such a defensive mode now, to protect itself.
I feel like emotion no longer exists to me, because of it.
But it's best for now, I'll open back up once I'm past all this.
One day.

-Matt-