last night.
Last night, natalie and i talked for a good time. and she basically reassured my thoughts that she doesnt see us in the long term. which was hurtful to me. but at least i knew it was that way...just sucks to finally hear it (or read it as was the case last night cause we were on AIM.)
the thing that sucks the most is that i try so hard to be what she needs and treat her well but i cant help with talks like that that I'm failing. i hate feeling like a failure. my whole life ive been told i was a failure.
i'm not perfect. i fuck up. i try not to but it doesnt work. but that doesnt make me a failure like ive been told so many times. it makes me human. but it still hurts.
The fact of the matter is I can see my self being with natalie for a long time. because i love her, she treats me well and shes such an amazing person. she means so much to me, but I push her away because i dont know how to act sometimes. I think that she wants me to be a protective boyfriend when she has told me a thousand times thats not it at all.
i guess what i need to do is start taking her advice because im going to end up pushing her away.
All i want out of life is to be happy and get by.
the talk we had meant so much to me because for once she didnt get upset with me and start freaking out. she just talked and it was so amazing. it really made me feel like i should have a positive attitude towards me improving. not that i havent wanted to but i just feel like I'm not despite all my efforts.
get up kids say- "could another point of view, biased and untrue, tear me away from you?"
the thing that sucks the most is that i try so hard to be what she needs and treat her well but i cant help with talks like that that I'm failing. i hate feeling like a failure. my whole life ive been told i was a failure.
i'm not perfect. i fuck up. i try not to but it doesnt work. but that doesnt make me a failure like ive been told so many times. it makes me human. but it still hurts.
The fact of the matter is I can see my self being with natalie for a long time. because i love her, she treats me well and shes such an amazing person. she means so much to me, but I push her away because i dont know how to act sometimes. I think that she wants me to be a protective boyfriend when she has told me a thousand times thats not it at all.
i guess what i need to do is start taking her advice because im going to end up pushing her away.
All i want out of life is to be happy and get by.
the talk we had meant so much to me because for once she didnt get upset with me and start freaking out. she just talked and it was so amazing. it really made me feel like i should have a positive attitude towards me improving. not that i havent wanted to but i just feel like I'm not despite all my efforts.
get up kids say- "could another point of view, biased and untrue, tear me away from you?"