what texas is all about
Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties.
Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: The same baby three weeks later.
Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
A: Floaties with a slashed baby.
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Q: What's red and sits in a highchair?
A: A baby eating razor-blades.
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Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner?
A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades.
Q: What is red, white and green and sits in a corner?
A: Same baby 3 weeks later.
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: What's blue and sits in the corner?
A1: Baby in a cellophane bag.
A2: Dead Baby playing with saranwrap.
Q: What is green and sits in the corner?
A: Same dead baby two weeks later!
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Q: What is Baskin Robbin's flavor of the month this month?
A: Blue Baby Cheesecake.
(There is a flavor of the month called Blueberry Cheesecake)
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A1: Fill a glass with root beer, and add a scoop of ice cream and a scoop of
dead baby.
A2: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby.
(If on a diet use only one scoop)
A3: Add 8 ounces of Coke-Cola with 2 scoops of dead baby.
A4: Take your foot off its head.
Q: And where did you get these babies?
A: Abortion Clinic.
Q: (At Abortion clinic) "Boy, what are these people doing?
I can't get in because they block my way. I want my float!"
A: They are pro-life people. They don't like sweet stuffs.
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Q1: What's red and white and bubbles all over?
Q2: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window?
Q3. What is brown and taps on a window?
Q4: What's pink and red and bangs on the window ?
Q5: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass?
A: A baby in the microwave.
Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds?
A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave!
(works best if told while in a swivel chair)
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Q: What is charred black and smells really bad?
A1: A baby chewing on an extension cord.
A2: A baby in the fireplace.
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Q1: What is red and swings back and forth?
Q2: What's pink and red and sways back and forth, back and forth...?
Q3: What's red and hangs four feet off the floor?
A: Dead baby on a meathook.
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Q: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
(damn elephants get into everything!)
Q: What do elephants use for ben-wa balls?
A: Dead babies.
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Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over?
A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die?
A: Because the koala landed on it.
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Q: How do you get a baby out of a tree?
A: You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a penata!
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Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
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Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
A: Pulling them off.
Q: What's more fun than nailing a baby to a fence?
A: Ripping it back off.
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Q1: What's red and white and goes 'round and 'round?
Q2: What goes red white, red red, white white red...?
Q3: What is pink and red and goes round and round?
Q4: What's pink and with a flick of a switch turns red?
Q5: What's red and chunky and travels, in a circle, at 190 mph ?
A: A baby in a blender
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q1: How do you get 1000 dead babies in a phone booth?
Q2: How do you get 10 dead babies into a tupperware bowl?
A1: La' Machine!
A2: Use a blender
Q: How do you get it out?
A1: With a straw!
A2: Doritos
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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can?
A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can.
Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?
A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans.
Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
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A: A baby with slashed floaties.
Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: The same baby three weeks later.
Q: What's red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
A: Floaties with a slashed baby.
----------
Q: What's red and sits in a highchair?
A: A baby eating razor-blades.
----------
Q: What is red and white and squirms in the corner?
A: Dead Baby playing with razor blades.
Q: What is red, white and green and sits in a corner?
A: Same baby 3 weeks later.
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: What's blue and sits in the corner?
A1: Baby in a cellophane bag.
A2: Dead Baby playing with saranwrap.
Q: What is green and sits in the corner?
A: Same dead baby two weeks later!
----------
Q: What is Baskin Robbin's flavor of the month this month?
A: Blue Baby Cheesecake.
(There is a flavor of the month called Blueberry Cheesecake)
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A1: Fill a glass with root beer, and add a scoop of ice cream and a scoop of
dead baby.
A2: One glass of Root Beer and two scoops of baby.
(If on a diet use only one scoop)
A3: Add 8 ounces of Coke-Cola with 2 scoops of dead baby.
A4: Take your foot off its head.
Q: And where did you get these babies?
A: Abortion Clinic.
Q: (At Abortion clinic) "Boy, what are these people doing?
I can't get in because they block my way. I want my float!"
A: They are pro-life people. They don't like sweet stuffs.
----------
Q1: What's red and white and bubbles all over?
Q2: What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window?
Q3. What is brown and taps on a window?
Q4: What's pink and red and bangs on the window ?
Q5: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass?
A: A baby in the microwave.
Q: What is black and bubbly and taps on glass every ten seconds?
A: Dead baby in a carousel microwave!
(works best if told while in a swivel chair)
----------
Q: What is charred black and smells really bad?
A1: A baby chewing on an extension cord.
A2: A baby in the fireplace.
----------
Q1: What is red and swings back and forth?
Q2: What's pink and red and sways back and forth, back and forth...?
Q3: What's red and hangs four feet off the floor?
A: Dead baby on a meathook.
----------
Q: How do you know when an elephant has been in the baby carriage?
A: By the footprints on the baby's forehead!
(damn elephants get into everything!)
Q: What do elephants use for ben-wa balls?
A: Dead babies.
----------
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over?
A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die?
A: Because the koala landed on it.
----------
Q: How do you get a baby out of a tree?
A: You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it's a penata!
----------
Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
----------
Q: What is more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?
A: Pulling them off.
Q: What's more fun than nailing a baby to a fence?
A: Ripping it back off.
----------
Q1: What's red and white and goes 'round and 'round?
Q2: What goes red white, red red, white white red...?
Q3: What is pink and red and goes round and round?
Q4: What's pink and with a flick of a switch turns red?
Q5: What's red and chunky and travels, in a circle, at 190 mph ?
A: A baby in a blender
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q1: How do you get 1000 dead babies in a phone booth?
Q2: How do you get 10 dead babies into a tupperware bowl?
A1: La' Machine!
A2: Use a blender
Q: How do you get it out?
A1: With a straw!
A2: Doritos
----------
Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a garbage can?
A: Ten dead babies in a garbage can.
Q: What is worse than 10 dead babies in a garbage can?
A: One dead baby in a ten garbage cans.
Q: What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
A: A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
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