scared
im too scared to make a decision. i ended it with lindsay a little over a week ago. then we basically got back together, without officially doing so...and now after my overreacting over nothing to react to, and being a jerk again last night...i cant get an i love you..after being called the most amazing guy last week. because she doesnt know whats going to happen....
i dont know what i am to her, because she doesnt know. so once again we are back to where we were when we ended. i don't know what to do. part of me just wants to end it and prevent the inevitable which is her saying she can't do it. all the signs are there. of course here i am probably overreacting to nothing again. i don;t know what to make of things, i dont know how to be around her. i don;t know what to say, i don;t know who to be , beacuse myself doesnt seem good enough...when last week everything was perfect. and it all it took was me screwing up again...i don't buy it. something else happened....whether it be family pressure or friend pressure or her maybe realizing she liked the idea of being single and not answering to anyone. i don;t know...but something did and i know my blow up had something to do with it....but whats going on......
mayve i just need to disappear off her radar for a few days... i think thats what i'll do...
but thats so much easier said than done. not when i every time pull out my phone i think about texting her or calling her just to have he respond, not when right now im debating to send her a goodnight text even though i know she won't respond.....God why do i hurt when theres no reason to right now....
But here we go again...am i this delusional to be hurting over a few words? am i holding on that tight? i dont know...thats what it all boils down to is...i don't know.
i dont know what i am to her, because she doesnt know. so once again we are back to where we were when we ended. i don't know what to do. part of me just wants to end it and prevent the inevitable which is her saying she can't do it. all the signs are there. of course here i am probably overreacting to nothing again. i don;t know what to make of things, i dont know how to be around her. i don;t know what to say, i don;t know who to be , beacuse myself doesnt seem good enough...when last week everything was perfect. and it all it took was me screwing up again...i don't buy it. something else happened....whether it be family pressure or friend pressure or her maybe realizing she liked the idea of being single and not answering to anyone. i don;t know...but something did and i know my blow up had something to do with it....but whats going on......
mayve i just need to disappear off her radar for a few days... i think thats what i'll do...
but thats so much easier said than done. not when i every time pull out my phone i think about texting her or calling her just to have he respond, not when right now im debating to send her a goodnight text even though i know she won't respond.....God why do i hurt when theres no reason to right now....
But here we go again...am i this delusional to be hurting over a few words? am i holding on that tight? i dont know...thats what it all boils down to is...i don't know.