BEAUTY OF THE FORBIDDEN - 16/17 - JONGHYUN X KIBUM
Title: Beauty of the Forbidden
Paring: Jonghyun/Kibum, Jonghyun/Jessica
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17 (PG-13)
Genre: AU, romance, angst, smut
Chapter: Chapter 16: Rejection
Warnings: Pervy stuff?
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except from the plot.
Summary: Jonghyun is bored, Kibum is curious and lust is sinful
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Beauty of the Forbidden
Chapter 16: Rejection
It took a week for Jonghyun’s parents to finally answer his calls. Rather than ask his son how he was, Jonghyun’s father skipped all courtesy and went straight to the point. He told Jonghyun they had discussed his ‘situation’, as they called it, and wanted to talk. On his way to their house, Jonghyun tried to figure out what his father was going to say. It wasn’t that difficult, really; definitely scold him and possibly attempt to punish him. Not that Jonghyun could come up with how his father would do that - he already quit the job at the old man’s company so he couldn’t fire him. Not that it would be a punishment, anyway. Jonghyun also moved out of the house so he couldn’t do anything about that either. Maybe he would take back Jonghyun’s car? Or cancel some old credit cards? Either way, there was nothing the old man could do that scared Jonghyun.
“I am willing to forgive you,” the old man spoke, his deep voice bouncing on the white walls of the sitting room, leaving behind a faint echo. He was the only one standing, while Jonghyun, his mother and sister remained seated on each side of the square shaped marble table, placed in the centre of the spacious room. “Your mother and sister are willing to forgive you for this little outburst as well,” he continued. “I’m sure Jessica will as well, if you talk to her. I understand you have felt a lot of pressure on you lately. I am even willing to reduce your working hours for a couple of weeks, to let you and Jessica patch things up.”
They don’t get it. Jonghyun wasn’t surprised. Trying not to roll his eyes, he simply exhaled lowly through his nose. He looked up at this father before speaking. “I’m serious about quitting. I already told you what I want and what I’m going to do. Jessica already found another guy. Even if she hadn’t, I wouldn’t try to get back with her.”
Silence followed after Jonghyun spoke. Soon enough, it was broken by his mother’s quiet sobs.
“A cleaner Jonghyun?” his father questioned, and Jonghyun could hear how it was gradually becoming more difficult for the old man to not let his anger show. “And a man, at that? That’s what you want?”
Jonghyun leaned back on his seat, shrugging lightly. “Actually, he’s a waiter now.”
Jonghyun’s sister had been sitting quietly, observing the situation. Jonghyun’s mother started crying even more, louder, hiding her face in her hands. Jonghyun tried to ignore it all, and simply focus on his father.
Rather than anger, there was something else hidden in the old man’s eyes. Jonghyun couldn’t put his finger on what it was, but it was something. Disappointment - sure, Jonghyun was used to that look and would recognize it even if he was blindfolded - but there was something new there as well. Regret? Hopelessness?
“You’re choosing a man over your family? Over your future?” Jonghyun’s father seemed to take his silence as a ‘yes’, because he didn’t wait for a verbal reply before he continued. “If that’s the case then I don’t want you to ever set a foot in my house again. You are not welcome here.”
At first, Jonghyun struggled to process what was being said. Maybe it was the, although weak, distracting echo. Maybe it was the way his mother sobbed like she would on a funeral. Or maybe it was the passive look on his sister’s face, who up until now always stood by Jonghyun’s side, defending him. Either way, it felt as if it took hours for Jonghyun to fully understand what his father meant.
When his mother finally looked up, Jonghyun turned his gaze at her. He didn’t speak, but he didn’t have to either. Jonghyun’s mom wouldn’t meet his gaze, but she didn’t have to either. They both knew what they were thinking; Jonghyun wanted her to say something. Only she didn’t.
“What do you mean?” he managed to ask, eyes back on his father.
“My son would not spend his life unemployed, homeless and with a homo,” his father spoke, his eyes and voice surprisingly composed, even though every person in the room knew how upset he was. “You are not my son. I don’t know you. From now on, you’re a stranger to me and to this family.”
There it was again; the struggle to fully understand the words leaving his father’s lips. Why didn’t his mother say something? Why didn’t his sister defend him? In that moment, Jonghyun could finally see what that unfamiliar look in his father’s eyes was.
Rejection.
There was nothing Jonghyun could say that would make his mother speak up, or his sister take his side, or his father change his mind. And so, Jonghyun didn’t speak but quietly got up from his seat. He walked with heavy steps, slipped his feet back in his shoes and opened the front door. Keeping his hand on the door handle, Jonghyun gave himself a moment to just exhale - to fully realize this was probably the last time he would walk through the door he just opened. Then, as he swallowed the thick feeling in his throat, he closed the door behind him and left his parents’ house.
~ * ~
Kibum never understood the point of romantic comedies. Who the hell enjoyed watching a stunning Hollywood star be happy and blissfully in love, and live in a perfect world with another gorgeous Hollywood star, where love was nothing but passion and heaven on earth? To hell with those cutesy, fake couples.
Feeling himself get bitter, Kibum used his free hand and stretched for the remote, changing the channel. He ended up watching Animal Planet instead, where two zebras were in the middle of a heated encounter. At least they didn’t have cheesy dialogues or pre-setup romantic dates.
A knock on the door made him look over his shoulder, at the front door a few feet behind him. It had been days since Jonghyun last showed up, but Kibum still proceeded with caution. Placing his tea on the table, he got up from the couch and looked through the peephole. Once he confirmed Jonghyun was nowhere to be seen, he opened the door.
In the hallway, a tall male with slightly wavy hair stood beside a shorter male. “Hello,” he taller one said, bowing his head slightly. “My name is Choi Minho and this is Lee Taemin.” After he spoke, the shorter of the two bowed as well.
Kibum, who was still thinking about that irritating movie from before, didn’t look all too amused. “Sorry, not interested,” he said, moving his arm to close the door. Though before he could do so, Minho placed his hand flat on the door and used his strength to stop Kibum.
“Uh, we’re not salesmen,” he laughed a little awkwardly, causing Kibum to raise an eyebrow. “We’re friends of Jonghyun hyung.”
Kibum’s expression changed into a more surprised one. Though only for a couple of seconds, because soon enough he was glaring at the two. “Still not interested,” he said, making yet another attempt to close the door. Only rather than Minho’s hand, this time it was his foot stopping Kibum from doing so.
Kibum glanced down at the foot squeezed between the door and door frame. “Did he actually send his friends to come and talk to me?” he chuckled mockingly, resisting the urge to stomp on Minho’s foot. “What a pussy. He’s not welcome here and neither are you. Save us both a bad time and leave me alone.”
“Jonghyun hyung doesn’t know we’re here,” a gentle voice spoke lowly, reminding Kibum that there was a second guy there.
The young male’s innocent appearance and smooth voice only pissed Kibum off even more. “What makes you think I’ll listen to what you have to say? This has nothing to do with you, you have no right to be here.”
“Just like your friends have no right to punch him,” Minho responded calmly.
At that, Kibum fell silent. It suddenly crossed his mind he should probably ask if Jonghyun was alright. Though he quickly shook that silly thought out of his mind. Although uncalled for, Jonghyun deserved it. Besides, it wasn’t like Kibum gave a shit.
“We won’t take much of your time,” Minho promised. “We’ll leave as soon as we get our say.”
Naturally, Kibum hesitated. Both Minho and Taemin looked like honest guys who genuinely didn’t want to cause any trouble. But Kibum knew looks could be deceiving. He had learned that the hard way.
Everything within Kibum was screaming for him to kick Minho’s foot out of the way, close the door and lock it. Jonghyun was a written and finished chapter. The end of the end. Kibum had moved on. That’s why it made absolutely no sense to him as to why he took one step to the side and opened the door wide for Minho and Taemin to let themselves in.
With a smile, Minho bowed his head as if to thank Kibum. Taemin closed the door behind them. Kibum thought about offering them tea - the keyword being thought. Instead, he took a seat on the couch and watched a baby zebra take its first steps.
“You have a really cosy apartment,” Minho complimented as he sat down on the other end of the couch. Taemin joined them soon after, after taking off his jacket and shoes.
“I know,” Kibum answered tonelessly, reaching out for his tea, his eyes glued to the television screen.
“When did you move to Seoul, Kibum hyung?” Taemin asked, apparently knowing Kibum wasn’t originally from the capital. It made Kibum wonder if the two had come to an agreement to start off with useless small talk if Kibum would let them in. It also made Kibum wonder just how much the two males knew about him.
Not feeling like he owed anyone anything, Kibum chose not to answer. Only Taemin seemed embarrassed when he received no response, which made Kibum - who was looking at the other male through the corner of his eye - feel as if he suddenly had to answer. “After I graduated,” he said tonelessly, only because Taemin looked like a puppy who just got scolded by his owner.
“Kibum-shi,” Minho said his name after a short moment of silence, shifting on his seat and crossing his legs. It seemed as if he was ready to get to the point. “I just want to start out by saying you got to know the wrong side of Jonghyun hyung.”
Kibum couldn’t stop the sarcastic chuckle leaving his lips.
“I know it might sound stupid,” Minho continued, “but I’m serious. He’s immature and pretty dense, yes, but that doesn’t make him a bad person. Jonghyun hyung has a kind heart. He didn’t mean for things to end up like this. He always told me he didn’t expect anyone to get hurt in the end. It was all just fun and games to him, and he thought you saw it that way as well.”
Finally, Kibum turned his head to meet Minho’s gaze. “If you’re here to market Jonghyun you’re wasting your time. And, more importantly, you’re wasting my time.”
“You have every right to be upset and not want to have anything to do with him,” Minho insisted, being far more persistent that Kibum had anticipated. Kibum instantly regretted letting the two males in. “I’m just asking you to not forget Jonghyun hyung hasn’t had it easy either. Talking to him won’t just put him at ease, I’m sure it’ll put you at ease as well. You can at least end things on good terms, right? For the sake of both of you. I’m sure hyung owes you a lot of explanations and apologizes. Let him give you that. Like, some sort of closure.”
It was a mystery to Kibum why Minho seemed to be so involved with the whole thing. Of course it was obvious Minho and Taemin were close friends with Jonghyun, but if Jonghyun himself couldn’t clean up the mess he had left behind then what the heck made Minho think he could?
“No.” Kibum’s answer was short and simple.
“It’s not fair, Kibum-shi.”
“’Not fair’?” Kibum frowned, slowly feeling that familiar anger grow within him. “I’ll tell you what’s not fair; lying to me and fucking around with me only because he could. And when I move on, he looks me up and harasses me and sends his buddies to harass me too. I buried this shit already, but now you’re all insisting on digging it up again. That’s not fair. You have no idea what the fuck I’ve been through because of him. I have absolutely no interest even seeing his dipshit-face ever again, much less listen to whatever bullshit he has to say.”
Despite Kibum getting upset, Minho continued to keep calm. “You’re right. I’m not trying to justify what Jonghyun did. I’m just asking you to try understand Jonghyun didn’t have it easy either. With his parents and-”
“Oh, really?” Kibum laughed humourlessly, cutting Minho’s sentence in half. “Because to me it sounds like you are trying to justify what Jonghyun did. What Jonghyun did was his fault. Not his wife’s or his parents’ fault. He fucked this up on his own, without help.”
“He did,” Minho agreed. “Without a doubt. I’m just asking you to try see everything from his point of view. All this time, hyung has been battling whether he should do what he wants or what his parents-”
“There you go again!” Kibum interrupted Minho a second time, because he already knew what the other was going to say. And what Minho was going to say was beyond stupid. “He’s not a fucking teenager, you know. If he still wants to be a mommy’s boy-”
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Taemin spoke, who up until now had been completely forgotten. Kibum was so surprised the young male spoke up, he didn’t argue like he did with Minho but simply stared at the other, one dark eyebrow high on his forehead. “Um, Jonghyun hyung told us you were raised by your grandmother?”
The only thing that surprised Kibum more than Taemin speaking up was what Taemin said. It was random and made no sense. If it was an attempt to change the subject it was a horrible way to do so. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“I’m really sorry- I mean, we both are really sorry for your loss, Kibum hyung. When Jonghyun hyung told us about how you spoke about her, I got the feeling your grandmother was a very loving and caring person.”
Jonghyun had absolutely no right to talk about Kibum’s grandmother. Neither did Taemin. In a matter of seconds, Kibum was ready to throw them both out, by force if needed. Though Taemin, who must’ve seen the anger in Kibum’s eyes, quickly raised his hands in a surrendering manner and bowed his head apologetically.
“I don’t mean to offend you,” he clarified. “And I definitely don’t mean to pry. I don’t know why your grandmother raised you instead of your parents, but it sounds to me like you lived a happy life with her regardless. Because, she loved you unconditionally, right?”
Of course Kibum’s grandmother loved him unconditionally. Often times, Kibum felt as if she loved him more than she loved her own children.
“Jonghyun hyung never had that,” Taemin said. “Unconditional love, I mean. I understand if you think he is dumb because he blindly does whatever his parents tell him to do... But I think the love his parents showed him was very conditional. Maybe that’s why Jonghyun hyung has always done what his parents tell him to.”
“Jonghyun hyung’s parents have always been very manipulative and controlling. It’s just the way he’s raised,” Minho added. “Neither of us has ever seen him stand up for himself in front of his parents until now, and that’s because of you. And now, he’s terrified. He’s been coming to both of us asking for advice as to what he should do.”
Taemin nodded in agreement. “It doesn’t have anything to do with Jonghyun hyung being a teenager or not, or whether he wants to be a ‘mommy’s boy’ or not.”
Surprisingly, Kibum was actually listening to what Minho and Taemin were saying. He couldn’t relate to Jonghyun’s supposed upbringing. Working for love and acceptance. That was ridiculous. No one deserved that.
“So, what are you saying?” Kibum questioned, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. However, he didn’t realize his voice wasn’t as hostile anymore. “Take him back? Just because his parents are fucked up?”
“No, not at all.” Minho shook his head. “All we want is for you to listen to him. If you don’t want him back then he’ll just have to accept that. But I’m sure it’ll be good for both of you to listen to each other, regardless what you decide to do.” Getting up from his seat, Minho went to grab his jacket that he left in the hall earlier. He slipped his hand down one pocket and grabbed a pen. When he returned to the couch, he took one of the magazines on the table. “This is his cell phone number,” he said as he started writing. When he was done, he slid the magazine over to Kibum. “It’s entirely up to you if you want to call him or not.”
Kibum simply looked at it, expressionless.
“I promised we wouldn’t take too much of your time, so we should get going now,” Minho said and stood up again. Taemin did so, too. “Thank you for listening. I know it wasn’t easy.”
Remaining seated, Kibum didn’t say anything. He didn’t turn around when the sound of the males behind him putting on their shoes reached his ears either.
“Bye,” Minho said.
“Bye, Kibum hyung,” Taemin said.
They didn’t leave immediately, and Kibum assumed it was because they waited for him to say something. He cleared his throat, but still didn’t turn around. “Bye,” he said, before hearing the door open and close.
* * *
It had taken hours before Jonghyun managed to fall asleep. He had spent most of his time staring blankly at the ceiling, shifting on Minho and Taemin’s couch. Around 3 am, he managed to fall asleep. Unfortunately, only one hour later, the tickling sound of his cell phone vibrating loudly against the coffee table startled him awake. Blindly, he reached for his phone and clumsily pressed it against his ear.
“Hello?” he said, his hoarse voice heavy with sleep. He wasn’t sure if he received no answer or if he was far too tired to register it. “Hello?”
Silence. Jonghyun brought the phone away from his ear and peered at the display through heavy eyelids. He couldn’t recognize the caller ID.
“Hello?” he attempted one last time, his thumb ready to hang up so he could go back to sleep already.
“If you promise to leave when I tell you to,” Kibum said, and Jonghyun was instantly wide awake, “you can drop by and say whatever you want to say. But leave when I tell you to.”
Sitting up at the speed of light, Jonghyun pushed himself off the couch he was supposed to be sleeping on, pillows and blankets falling to the floor. “Alright,” he said, his hands suddenly shaking. “Don’t go anywhere, alright? I’ll be there. Don’t go anywhere.”
“It’s four in the morning. Where the heck would I be going?”
Jonghyun was already up and running and had put his jeans on in record time before Kibum had even finished his sentences.
“Twenty minutes,” he said, struggling to keep his voice steady when it felt like his heart was stuck in his throat. “I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
Rather than a ‘alright’ or ‘bye’, Kibum simply hung up the phone. It didn’t bother Jonghyun, who didn’t even fix his hair or put on some socks. Once he had a shirt on, he jumped into his shoes and headed out, running down the stairs and to his car. He didn’t want to give Kibum time to change his mind.
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A/N: *sigh* Alright, by now it’s no secret that I should be ashamed, but goddamn, to hell with it all, if I don’t finish this fic! I still receive messages every now and then from people who are still reading and to you I say thank you so, so, so much! Also, I have a few possible endings for this, so I’m curious to know how you guys think I should wrap it up.