Alone Together, Together Alone
Title: Alone Together, Together Alone
Pairing: I dunno? ... suggestions? lol
Warning: Angst~ but... it has a kind of positive ending?
I watched him leave that night, the tears streaming down my face hidden by the heavy rain, his footsteps loudly splashing as he trudged down the street. Away, away from me, away from us.
I wanted to scream, to call out. You're going the wrong way, I wanted to say, but the words were caught tight in my throat, and I couldn't do anything but stand there and cry.
The next thing I remember I was warm and dry and alone... alone- it kept echoing in my thoughts... alone but with someone bent over me, mumbling something I couldn't understand, holding something up to my mouth.
I pushed it away unconsciously, rolling over and pulling the blanket over my head, the blanket, still warm from your touch, still full of your scent. I used that blanket to shield out the outside world, the way I used to keep everyone out of my heart, everyone except you, because my feelings for you were so big, I couldn't fit anyone else even if I wanted to. I didn't want to.
You didn't come back the next day, you didn't come back... words still stuck, unable to push them to the surface, I lay under the blanket, in my self proclaimed sanctuary, thinking of every day that we spent together, and how much I took you for granted, thinking, knowing, that you'd be around tomorrow, and the next day, and forever.
And now I'm left alone, only I'm not alone because he keeps talking at me, tugging away my blanket, destroying my sanctuary, trying to get me to eat, to talk, to live. And it's the last thing I want, because living without you isn't living at all.
When I finally rise from the bed, late one evening, it is because I hear the splatter of raindrops on my window, and I scramble to the window, clawing at the glass, remembering you, remembering how you left me without a word, and all I can do is cry.
Soft arms wrap around me, enfold me, warm breath against my jaw, and it feels different, feels wrong, it isn't you, but I fall back into that embrace, trying to say what I've been holding back for so long, that I'm alone, that we're alone, that you're gone.
But I'm not alone, really. It's whispered to me, again and again, and all I can do is cry. Because it's true, because it isn't.
Maybe I want to be left alone, left alone... maybe I just want to die, I finally scream, and all of the words I have been holding back for so long tumble out of my mouth.
I'm pulled into my bed, still in the awkward embrace, and I fight it, fight him entering my sanctuary, the place that we created, the place that holds all of you I have left, but he continues to hold me, wrapping me tight with the blanket, our blanket, until I stop fighting, until I fall against him, breathless, and he kisses a soft path across my face, and even though it's dark I can see a tear drip down his face, and I finally realize, finally know that as alone as I am, there is someone else who is alone too. And maybe it would be better to be alone together, than together alone...
Pairing: I dunno? ... suggestions? lol
Warning: Angst~ but... it has a kind of positive ending?
I watched him leave that night, the tears streaming down my face hidden by the heavy rain, his footsteps loudly splashing as he trudged down the street. Away, away from me, away from us.
I wanted to scream, to call out. You're going the wrong way, I wanted to say, but the words were caught tight in my throat, and I couldn't do anything but stand there and cry.
The next thing I remember I was warm and dry and alone... alone- it kept echoing in my thoughts... alone but with someone bent over me, mumbling something I couldn't understand, holding something up to my mouth.
I pushed it away unconsciously, rolling over and pulling the blanket over my head, the blanket, still warm from your touch, still full of your scent. I used that blanket to shield out the outside world, the way I used to keep everyone out of my heart, everyone except you, because my feelings for you were so big, I couldn't fit anyone else even if I wanted to. I didn't want to.
You didn't come back the next day, you didn't come back... words still stuck, unable to push them to the surface, I lay under the blanket, in my self proclaimed sanctuary, thinking of every day that we spent together, and how much I took you for granted, thinking, knowing, that you'd be around tomorrow, and the next day, and forever.
And now I'm left alone, only I'm not alone because he keeps talking at me, tugging away my blanket, destroying my sanctuary, trying to get me to eat, to talk, to live. And it's the last thing I want, because living without you isn't living at all.
When I finally rise from the bed, late one evening, it is because I hear the splatter of raindrops on my window, and I scramble to the window, clawing at the glass, remembering you, remembering how you left me without a word, and all I can do is cry.
Soft arms wrap around me, enfold me, warm breath against my jaw, and it feels different, feels wrong, it isn't you, but I fall back into that embrace, trying to say what I've been holding back for so long, that I'm alone, that we're alone, that you're gone.
But I'm not alone, really. It's whispered to me, again and again, and all I can do is cry. Because it's true, because it isn't.
Maybe I want to be left alone, left alone... maybe I just want to die, I finally scream, and all of the words I have been holding back for so long tumble out of my mouth.
I'm pulled into my bed, still in the awkward embrace, and I fight it, fight him entering my sanctuary, the place that we created, the place that holds all of you I have left, but he continues to hold me, wrapping me tight with the blanket, our blanket, until I stop fighting, until I fall against him, breathless, and he kisses a soft path across my face, and even though it's dark I can see a tear drip down his face, and I finally realize, finally know that as alone as I am, there is someone else who is alone too. And maybe it would be better to be alone together, than together alone...