May 22, 2009 12:03
So I recently had a therapists appointment and I learn a lot of good information. I really like this therapist, she is really what I need right now. The thing I'm realized the most between her information and my own personal realizations is, that I cycle. I don't cycle manic and depressed. I cycle hypomanic and depressed. What this means is that I don't get into a state where I have to go to the hospital when I'm up. However, hypomania can cause a false sense of wellness, at least for me. While I'm in control of my faculties, I'm very likely to crash. As result I go up and down over the course of 4 to 6 months. What makes things worse is that certain triggers, like stress, can cause me to cycle faster and never up.
What concerns me most about this information, is my history. I can look back and chronicle events of the past and I can clearly see what moods I was in when certain things happened in my life. It's very creepy to know that, the successes and failures in your life might be closely tied to the amount of Serotonin in my brain.
I dunno, anymore. All I can do is move forward with my life, my treatment. I know things are better now, I just hope they stay better.
Sean