distrustful

[tetsuhideyoshi]

I don't know if I'm being too distrustful or what, I always want to take one step back from my beloved one, because I don't want to get hurt once she dumped me from the sky. because I know everything will not go as lovey dovey as I think it would be. because what am I to her? I don't know anything about her. I'm not her close friend, she won't talk to me her own problems, on the other hand I don't always tell her everything (because almost everything that makes me feel emo is because of her) and from that I assume that she doesn't want to love me as how I love her. I hate this habit of pulling back myself because it really hurts everytime it happens. she might has said that umpteenth times but I-- I feel like-- me in her eyes is nowhere near what I called it lover. she may be just emphatyzed me for being so pathetic or whatever, right. and everytime I think about that I really get hurt to the core. but there are just too many proves to prove that it's true, what I've been scared of.

what am I talking about actually nevermind me ok.

Posted via m.livejournal.com.