Another random update of slight seriousness
-dusts this thing off for another random life update-
So I don't really use my own person tumblr anymore getting myself sucked up in the world of writing there and RPing in order to keep a bit more of my sanity and despite a few bumps in the road it's worked out really well. So if anyone RP's via tumblr just leave me a poke here and I can send you the info for that since we need more people.
Now for the more serious side of this update...
Things changed dramatically where I was living and due to a strange twist of events I was requested to leave my apartment within a short amount of time even though it was the last thing my roommate wanted but thanks to some life events for her it not her choice for me to continue to staying there and honestly... I think it's something I really needed.
It's somewhat a relief now that I don't have to wake up every day and dread watching a 4 year old all day and I was really reaching my limit with that and it was doing me no favors in the sanity department since years ago as some of you know I made the choice to not keep my own child so I guess logic finally gave me a slap in the face on that one and I am glad it did.
A big annoyance now is that cause of what happened at the apartment I am now apparently going through the process of dealing with trauma from the event. Thankfully my only close friend here and his mother were nice enough to take me in and it's made the whole thing easier to deal with but now my severe anxiety problem is painfully obvious to them and his mom has pointed out that I should really get some professional opinion of some sort cause I might not be able to recover from this one quickly.
But honestly... I think this is where I need to be. They're willing to keep me here indefinitely and that's a relief for me cause it's a lot more welcoming than the living situations I've been in for years now it's made me realize how fucking nuts I have been to be accepting of my living situation prior to coming here. So... good thing, I guess?
I do need to see a professional cause I'm showing all the signs of being a big ball of anxiety disorder of some kind and the trauma I've gone through seems to have made it far worse. The scariest part of it all seems to be that I know I shouldn't be thinking or worrying about so many things yet... I have no way of stopping it. It's even things that could never happen or have anything to do with what's going on since I've been completely separated from the situation going on at the other apartment yet... I can't fucking turn it off.
Another good thing is that my friend's mom is just... she's very understanding. She's giving me the time to recover for however long it takes for me to get past this and it's almost an alien sensation to be somewhere so peaceful.
I guess really terrible situation has now turned into a extremely healthy thing for me? I can't tell yet but I feel like I should be here.
Oh well, I'll update here when I know more cause it might just help my brain process things better. I'm not sure yet.
Feel free to leave a comment though, I feel at least a little social... I think, heh...
So I don't really use my own person tumblr anymore getting myself sucked up in the world of writing there and RPing in order to keep a bit more of my sanity and despite a few bumps in the road it's worked out really well. So if anyone RP's via tumblr just leave me a poke here and I can send you the info for that since we need more people.
Now for the more serious side of this update...
Things changed dramatically where I was living and due to a strange twist of events I was requested to leave my apartment within a short amount of time even though it was the last thing my roommate wanted but thanks to some life events for her it not her choice for me to continue to staying there and honestly... I think it's something I really needed.
It's somewhat a relief now that I don't have to wake up every day and dread watching a 4 year old all day and I was really reaching my limit with that and it was doing me no favors in the sanity department since years ago as some of you know I made the choice to not keep my own child so I guess logic finally gave me a slap in the face on that one and I am glad it did.
A big annoyance now is that cause of what happened at the apartment I am now apparently going through the process of dealing with trauma from the event. Thankfully my only close friend here and his mother were nice enough to take me in and it's made the whole thing easier to deal with but now my severe anxiety problem is painfully obvious to them and his mom has pointed out that I should really get some professional opinion of some sort cause I might not be able to recover from this one quickly.
But honestly... I think this is where I need to be. They're willing to keep me here indefinitely and that's a relief for me cause it's a lot more welcoming than the living situations I've been in for years now it's made me realize how fucking nuts I have been to be accepting of my living situation prior to coming here. So... good thing, I guess?
I do need to see a professional cause I'm showing all the signs of being a big ball of anxiety disorder of some kind and the trauma I've gone through seems to have made it far worse. The scariest part of it all seems to be that I know I shouldn't be thinking or worrying about so many things yet... I have no way of stopping it. It's even things that could never happen or have anything to do with what's going on since I've been completely separated from the situation going on at the other apartment yet... I can't fucking turn it off.
Another good thing is that my friend's mom is just... she's very understanding. She's giving me the time to recover for however long it takes for me to get past this and it's almost an alien sensation to be somewhere so peaceful.
I guess really terrible situation has now turned into a extremely healthy thing for me? I can't tell yet but I feel like I should be here.
Oh well, I'll update here when I know more cause it might just help my brain process things better. I'm not sure yet.
Feel free to leave a comment though, I feel at least a little social... I think, heh...