More mature soap opera ladies for UGA
1
Hiiii everyone! Lieutenant Colonel Misato Katsuragi, reporting back from her supply run! Let's get all the MREs and rice in the pantry, and I can show you the real reason I went shopping when we're stuck in this part of North America. See, there's this stuff they ferment from cactus around here...
2
[It's time for a fight!]
Alright, listen up! This big ugly's under NERV's jurisdiction, so I'm taking command of the White Chalice and the mecha team for this one. I'm sending you unit designations now - Alpha 1 and 2, begin screening the target with fire. You don't need to damage it, just keep its attention on you, and don't die. 3, 4, and 5, lay down covering artillery and try to keep it back on its heels. 6, that's where you come in. You need to burrow underground and attack it from below.
What? Just do it if you don't want this thing to kill you, got it?
3
[For once, Misato seems to have gone straight from "sober" to "maudlin" once she got started]
You know, I gotta question my priorities sometimes. I mean, here I am, twenty-n...twenty-five, running around the world with a bunch a kids in a big spaceship with a forest on it. I just gotta think back an' wonder...is this really what I wanted to do when I grew up, when I was a kid I mean? Sure, I'm saving the world, I've got the best friends half my age a woman could ask for, but...'ve I really got my priorities straight?
4
*WAHRK!*
[A penguin is looking at you like you owe him money.]