Mayfield?
-1-
[You may or may not decide against disturbing the young lady just yet, as she seems to be taking this very, very seriously. Whatever "this" is. Plush dragon dolls of various colors are strewn throughout her room, and there's an incredibly crude chalk drawing of what seems to be a demon on the wall.
She kneels before the purple dragon in the center of the room, staring at it intensely, before speaking.]
It pains me to have to do this to an old friend, Colonel Grapetail. If it were a luxury available to me, I would as soon be convinced of your innocence! However, the League of Legislacerators would never tolerate a conflict of interests. More importantly, some of us hold justice sacred! Ask me, Colonel. Do I believe you--you, of all people, who once saved my life in the Fortieth Alternian Civil War--to be capable of the murder of a virgin Mother Grub?!?
I say before His Tyranny: yes. Brave companion though you are, Grapetail, I've seen you do your work. You would harpoon pupae down in their hives if you had orders! In fact, you may be interested to know what we found at the scene of the crime!
[She walks to her bed and pulls the sheets off it in a flourish, revealing a hole in the mattress that was pretty clearly dug out with some effort.]
Order! Order in the court! As you can see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what we have here is UNMISTAKABLY THE DISTINCTIVE MARK OF A HARPOON HOLE. Tell me, Mr. Grapetail: are you not in fact the most eminent harpoonist in the army? Well?
[She kicks the dragon over, then kneels to whisper manically in its face.]
You have one chance to save yourself, Grapetail. WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!?
[SUDDENLY! She notices you, and the roleplaying is dropped as though it were proverbially hot.]
Hey! What's up?
-2-
[Phone]
GU3SS WHO JUST GOT SOM3TH1NG GR34T B4CK? TH4T'S R1GHT! TH1S L4DY R1GHT H3R3 >:]
I think I got used to talking like a human, though! For now I will save my native accent for proper trolling purposes. How does that sound to you, Earth Mayfield Friends?
[You may or may not decide against disturbing the young lady just yet, as she seems to be taking this very, very seriously. Whatever "this" is. Plush dragon dolls of various colors are strewn throughout her room, and there's an incredibly crude chalk drawing of what seems to be a demon on the wall.
She kneels before the purple dragon in the center of the room, staring at it intensely, before speaking.]
It pains me to have to do this to an old friend, Colonel Grapetail. If it were a luxury available to me, I would as soon be convinced of your innocence! However, the League of Legislacerators would never tolerate a conflict of interests. More importantly, some of us hold justice sacred! Ask me, Colonel. Do I believe you--you, of all people, who once saved my life in the Fortieth Alternian Civil War--to be capable of the murder of a virgin Mother Grub?!?
I say before His Tyranny: yes. Brave companion though you are, Grapetail, I've seen you do your work. You would harpoon pupae down in their hives if you had orders! In fact, you may be interested to know what we found at the scene of the crime!
[She walks to her bed and pulls the sheets off it in a flourish, revealing a hole in the mattress that was pretty clearly dug out with some effort.]
Order! Order in the court! As you can see, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what we have here is UNMISTAKABLY THE DISTINCTIVE MARK OF A HARPOON HOLE. Tell me, Mr. Grapetail: are you not in fact the most eminent harpoonist in the army? Well?
[She kicks the dragon over, then kneels to whisper manically in its face.]
You have one chance to save yourself, Grapetail. WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!?
[SUDDENLY! She notices you, and the roleplaying is dropped as though it were proverbially hot.]
Hey! What's up?
-2-
[Phone]
GU3SS WHO JUST GOT SOM3TH1NG GR34T B4CK? TH4T'S R1GHT! TH1S L4DY R1GHT H3R3 >:]
I think I got used to talking like a human, though! For now I will save my native accent for proper trolling purposes. How does that sound to you, Earth Mayfield Friends?