courage and strength
I am so frustrated with so many things. Don't get me wrong, I am not unappreciative of the great things going on. It's just always ticking in the back of my head: why does it have to be this way?
Since I had a mental and total breakdown last Monday (1.5 weeks ago...) my mind has really changed. I'm not sure that my heart has become hard; although, from first glance that may appear to be the case. Instead, I believe that I have resurfaced a part of myself that has been missing for years...my confidence, independence, and WORTH.
Instead of always questioning, "Why am I not good enough? Why do I suck?" My thoughts flip to, "What is that person's problem? I am special and important and it's their loss." This has caused some turmoil in some areas of my life, but it's worth it. It's about time I get some of my self-respect back because I'm done with all the tears and self-loathing. That's crap. And it's Satan, and I'm not taking it anymore. My heart really is drawing the line.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
How much truth is in that statement!!!
I've neglected this, and my life was essentially sucked out of me.
I will not stop growing just because other people are holding me down. I will break free, I AM breaking free -- and I will forge forward with a will and knowledge greater than the one that was buried deep within me many years ago.
Since I had a mental and total breakdown last Monday (1.5 weeks ago...) my mind has really changed. I'm not sure that my heart has become hard; although, from first glance that may appear to be the case. Instead, I believe that I have resurfaced a part of myself that has been missing for years...my confidence, independence, and WORTH.
Instead of always questioning, "Why am I not good enough? Why do I suck?" My thoughts flip to, "What is that person's problem? I am special and important and it's their loss." This has caused some turmoil in some areas of my life, but it's worth it. It's about time I get some of my self-respect back because I'm done with all the tears and self-loathing. That's crap. And it's Satan, and I'm not taking it anymore. My heart really is drawing the line.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
How much truth is in that statement!!!
I've neglected this, and my life was essentially sucked out of me.
I will not stop growing just because other people are holding me down. I will break free, I AM breaking free -- and I will forge forward with a will and knowledge greater than the one that was buried deep within me many years ago.