(no subject)

[test_tube_maybe]

i saw you today for the first time since you took what was mine. you reminded me how to feel nothing. to be numb. powerless. left for dead. you reminded me of what i've wanted so many times before. alomst. i knew you were free. but i knew i would never lock eys with you ever again. but what i knew, was not the truth. we locked eyes, and i know you knew who i was. the smile you cracked made me sick, i wanted to vomit. like how i felt before. i wonder what you were thinking. but then again, i don't think i ever want to know. i felt my weight in the pit of my stomach. wanted to splurge out of my throat. i swallowed my heart. and drove away. i will never forget what you did. it will always be in the back of my mind. but today it was all over me. i don't know what to do with it. this spiteful reminder, saying, no no dont go on with your life. remember what i did to you, and hurt. hurt. remember how i made you mine for the rest of your life. becuase you will never forget who i am, and you will remember my face and the way it looked when my eyes seared through you. and you will never forget what i did. and you will hurt when you recall the fresh memory that you've buried.

it is no longer buried. and i remember how to feel nothing.