So much to say, I forget to start; There goes a day, fading as it passes
So I gave myself a rule where I won't put up any status updates about any bouts of depression that I may experience, because I don't wanna be that guy. Instead, I'll just post it to LiveJournal, since only like 4 people ever read mine, if that. I think I'm down to 3 actually.
Yea, I'm depressed right now. Wouldn't call it a mess, but I'm certainly feeling mixed up.
None of the guitar riffs I'm trying to compose sound good to me. I don't know if that's just the depression talking or truth, but nothing I come up with seems to strike me as great.
I've taken up Magic the Gathering trading with my friend Alex. I know that it can be profitable, and technically we have made a profit, but we haven't turned that profit into actual useful money right now, as it is all just profit in product, which is useless to me.
My skewed perception of time makes me feel like I give off an air of neediness, when that's not really the case at all. Last week was just a lot longer ago for me than for most folks.
I'm also afraid that what I think is thoughtfulness comes across as being pushy or overwhelming. I just think a mile a minute, so that's almost 1500 miles of thinking I do in a day. Fuck, son.
I have ugly teeth. This bothers me enough to force me to hide my smiles.
I'm afraid of not getting that job at Newbury's. This is stupid because it's just Newbury's, although it holds a much more respectable and enjoyable position than some of my other options.
I'll be 25 in around 4 months, and I'll still have done nothing worthwhile with my life and not be where I should be. I look at most of my friends and they're out there doing things. Maybe not things they planned on, and they may be barely hanging in there in some cases, but they're still out their on their own. Where am I?
I feel left behind. This of course is all my fault. Too bad that doesn't motivate me to do anything. Rather, these realizations do more to paralyze than inspire.
These things and more keep me up at night.
I'm an idiot.
Yea, I'm depressed right now. Wouldn't call it a mess, but I'm certainly feeling mixed up.
None of the guitar riffs I'm trying to compose sound good to me. I don't know if that's just the depression talking or truth, but nothing I come up with seems to strike me as great.
I've taken up Magic the Gathering trading with my friend Alex. I know that it can be profitable, and technically we have made a profit, but we haven't turned that profit into actual useful money right now, as it is all just profit in product, which is useless to me.
My skewed perception of time makes me feel like I give off an air of neediness, when that's not really the case at all. Last week was just a lot longer ago for me than for most folks.
I'm also afraid that what I think is thoughtfulness comes across as being pushy or overwhelming. I just think a mile a minute, so that's almost 1500 miles of thinking I do in a day. Fuck, son.
I have ugly teeth. This bothers me enough to force me to hide my smiles.
I'm afraid of not getting that job at Newbury's. This is stupid because it's just Newbury's, although it holds a much more respectable and enjoyable position than some of my other options.
I'll be 25 in around 4 months, and I'll still have done nothing worthwhile with my life and not be where I should be. I look at most of my friends and they're out there doing things. Maybe not things they planned on, and they may be barely hanging in there in some cases, but they're still out their on their own. Where am I?
I feel left behind. This of course is all my fault. Too bad that doesn't motivate me to do anything. Rather, these realizations do more to paralyze than inspire.
These things and more keep me up at night.
I'm an idiot.