...
Preparing to begin my career in earnest these past few months is evoking in me a few emotions I'd lost touch with for some time. A sort of giddy excitement mixed with nervous trepidation to a degree that leaves me nauseous, but nonetheless determined. The information gathering: reading and watching various interviews with successful musicians from all castes, reading blogs by professional songwriters and A&R reps, forum arguments between performing musicians and managers and booking agents and the like, looking into information on services provided by listing companies and reviews on their legitimacy and usefulness, discussions and arguments with several friends who have both inside and outside views on the matter. And then the recording of the album, and subsequent composition/recording of new material, while continuously practicing the established. Working on my technique, improving my lyricism and my riffs, getting better at finding the balance between commercially applicable and worthy of artistic merit. The shock on people's faces when they hear what I've been working on, or hearing people critique material behind my back but still having positive things to say.
It seems like every other day I find something to discourage me, make me question if I really am prepared for such an undertaking. But then I always discover some new article or testimony or just a wonderful new piece of music the next day to embolden my spirits, make me realize that this is a craft that I don't just enjoy immensely, but is perhaps the only thing I truly love with every ounce of my being. For me, it feels like nothing matters more these days. Sure, I have friends I see every now and then, and I do play video games or watch X-Files or some such thing, send rude text messages to Christine, learn how to make elaborate meals, whatever, but all these other things I enjoy really only punctuate the times I'm involving myself with music in some shape or form. I'm constantly writing songs (I may or may not have breached the 300 mark by now), I'm constantly playing my guitar, constantly experimenting with new synths and sounds, constantly looking towards the next big step forward for my performance, my albums, my image, my knowledge of the business. Almost all of my conversations with people seem to devolve into either showing them my latest composition or discussing new techniques or exploiting loopholes and exceptions in theory, and how to mesh odd practices and make them feel normal while examination shows how bizarre the expression happens to be.
People talk about certain things, certain concepts or beliefs or cultures in life, how these things are parts of their very being. I guess that's what music is for me, which I suppose makes sense after being involved with it for almost a decade, and not giving up on it. It's laborious for sure, but when you love something you put up with whatever bothers you about it because of what it means to you, the importance of it and the reciprocation from the investment put into it. It's kinda like what the Beatles said: "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." People don't work like that of course, but music does. For me, at least. Maybe when people start working like that I can stop being such a misanthrope.
Yea, right.
Matt Wassung randomly also made me feel much better about moving to New York. He also made a passing mention of still reading this journal, which surprised me a bit since I thought nobody was really paying attention. Not that it ever mattered that people weren't, but it was somewhat pleasant to know that some folks were still paying attention despite not having any reason to. I'll admit that it did prompt me to write another entry after such a long hiatus.
Album news: Andrew and his mates are mixing it. Shouldn't take too long since I don't use as many tracks as he does (he usually uses around 50-70, whereas I typically have anywhere between 10 and 20, sometimes 30). Of course, this is due to the difference in styles more than anything else. He's really quite good at engineering/producing. His band's stuff is also pretty high quality. Not my preferred style, but I do recognize quality when I hear it. Anyway, the outlook is good on the album. I can't wait to get it finished.
Chris gets off work soon. Time to play some guitar I think.
It seems like every other day I find something to discourage me, make me question if I really am prepared for such an undertaking. But then I always discover some new article or testimony or just a wonderful new piece of music the next day to embolden my spirits, make me realize that this is a craft that I don't just enjoy immensely, but is perhaps the only thing I truly love with every ounce of my being. For me, it feels like nothing matters more these days. Sure, I have friends I see every now and then, and I do play video games or watch X-Files or some such thing, send rude text messages to Christine, learn how to make elaborate meals, whatever, but all these other things I enjoy really only punctuate the times I'm involving myself with music in some shape or form. I'm constantly writing songs (I may or may not have breached the 300 mark by now), I'm constantly playing my guitar, constantly experimenting with new synths and sounds, constantly looking towards the next big step forward for my performance, my albums, my image, my knowledge of the business. Almost all of my conversations with people seem to devolve into either showing them my latest composition or discussing new techniques or exploiting loopholes and exceptions in theory, and how to mesh odd practices and make them feel normal while examination shows how bizarre the expression happens to be.
People talk about certain things, certain concepts or beliefs or cultures in life, how these things are parts of their very being. I guess that's what music is for me, which I suppose makes sense after being involved with it for almost a decade, and not giving up on it. It's laborious for sure, but when you love something you put up with whatever bothers you about it because of what it means to you, the importance of it and the reciprocation from the investment put into it. It's kinda like what the Beatles said: "In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." People don't work like that of course, but music does. For me, at least. Maybe when people start working like that I can stop being such a misanthrope.
Yea, right.
Matt Wassung randomly also made me feel much better about moving to New York. He also made a passing mention of still reading this journal, which surprised me a bit since I thought nobody was really paying attention. Not that it ever mattered that people weren't, but it was somewhat pleasant to know that some folks were still paying attention despite not having any reason to. I'll admit that it did prompt me to write another entry after such a long hiatus.
Album news: Andrew and his mates are mixing it. Shouldn't take too long since I don't use as many tracks as he does (he usually uses around 50-70, whereas I typically have anywhere between 10 and 20, sometimes 30). Of course, this is due to the difference in styles more than anything else. He's really quite good at engineering/producing. His band's stuff is also pretty high quality. Not my preferred style, but I do recognize quality when I hear it. Anyway, the outlook is good on the album. I can't wait to get it finished.
Chris gets off work soon. Time to play some guitar I think.