Preparing for another beginning... or just a complete dead end
I'm just about due to graduate in three months. I should start to believe that it will be a good time. But, a lot will come with that. What to do from there? What can I even consider? I'm not the best prospect for IT at all. There's a possibility that I could work for Financial Aid again. This would be a permanent position. But, still I don't know everything that there is to do. Would I be happy to work with Yvette, Marisa and Nicolette? It would be a dominant female department. Irrelevant, but it's kind of cool. I guess I would get sick of it though. I do like working with guys on the field. It would be nice to start with guaranteed money.
Pros
Guaranteed salary
Own office setting
Good people
Distance
Employee discount
Finish with a 4 year degree
No drug screening
Cons
Horrible institution-corporation
Annoying people
Hidden relationship?
Disrespect of myself and by others
Given Neutrals
Annoying students
And to complicate things, how should I feel about dating Jeff? Once the truth gets out, how could I be around everyone? Dating my former boss; a former manager of ITT. Though, Jeff just made a valid point just now. There are plenty of places that will offer tuition reimbursement. But, it would be convenient to go from office to class. I still don't know what to do.
As for relationship status, how do I feel? I still wish that there is a better communication between Jeff and me. I can't seem to ever speak what's always on my mind. Anytime that I feel angry or disappointed with him, I tend to forget about everything. Every time when he smiles, I just forget what's been bothering me in the first place. I know that I care about his feelings more than my own. I need to learn how to balance. Looking at this picture of us at the beach, nothing makes my heart happier.
By the time I graduate, what will happen? How much longer can I stand living at home? It would be cool to move in with Jeff one day. I'm still afraid that one day he'll realize that we shouldn't be together. I don't know if I could take that risky chance. I wish that I could live on my own. That would be amazing. But, inevitably I will become a hermit. So, that isn't a good decision. I still have a car to pay off. I guess a guaranteed salary would be wonderful to secure the payments on my car. But how do you really measure a guarantee? I can't seem to trust everything there.
I'm still very much afraid of the future. I'm afraid of my personal future. But, I wish I could fast forward in time from a political stand-point. I can't wait for the day when pot is finally legalized. Yes, I agree that there are certain places that should still screen. But any fucking low-end job shouldn't be. One day I wish to accomplish living a wonderful life in Amsterdam.
Pros
Guaranteed salary
Own office setting
Good people
Distance
Employee discount
Finish with a 4 year degree
No drug screening
Cons
Horrible institution-corporation
Annoying people
Hidden relationship?
Disrespect of myself and by others
Given Neutrals
Annoying students
And to complicate things, how should I feel about dating Jeff? Once the truth gets out, how could I be around everyone? Dating my former boss; a former manager of ITT. Though, Jeff just made a valid point just now. There are plenty of places that will offer tuition reimbursement. But, it would be convenient to go from office to class. I still don't know what to do.
As for relationship status, how do I feel? I still wish that there is a better communication between Jeff and me. I can't seem to ever speak what's always on my mind. Anytime that I feel angry or disappointed with him, I tend to forget about everything. Every time when he smiles, I just forget what's been bothering me in the first place. I know that I care about his feelings more than my own. I need to learn how to balance. Looking at this picture of us at the beach, nothing makes my heart happier.
By the time I graduate, what will happen? How much longer can I stand living at home? It would be cool to move in with Jeff one day. I'm still afraid that one day he'll realize that we shouldn't be together. I don't know if I could take that risky chance. I wish that I could live on my own. That would be amazing. But, inevitably I will become a hermit. So, that isn't a good decision. I still have a car to pay off. I guess a guaranteed salary would be wonderful to secure the payments on my car. But how do you really measure a guarantee? I can't seem to trust everything there.
I'm still very much afraid of the future. I'm afraid of my personal future. But, I wish I could fast forward in time from a political stand-point. I can't wait for the day when pot is finally legalized. Yes, I agree that there are certain places that should still screen. But any fucking low-end job shouldn't be. One day I wish to accomplish living a wonderful life in Amsterdam.