WIP: Vamp!Mulder, part 2
Title: There Is No Seven
Author: Tesla
Genre: Angel/X-Files crossover
This is AU. There is no miracle pregnancy. It takes off where Mulder wasn't abducted by aliens, but by Wolfram & Hart, contracted out by the Consortium. Drusilla vamped him. Hijinks ensue. Also, the space and time continuums are warped so that all this happens late AtS season 2, BtVS season 5.
Black lunged asshole had actually invited him in. Didn't these guys share information, read a memo?
It was just like that "Far Side" cartoon. "Blah blah conspiracy blah Resist or Serve, blah blah Fight or Die, blah, Agent Mulder, are you listening to me?"
"No," Mulder said, and went into game face.
Jesus, he nearly lost it, at the old bastard's expression.
"Yeah, vampire now. Cool, huh? Turns out your extra-terrestrials are just
demons with a hell of a inter-dimensional ship. All fucking smoke---if you'll
excuse the pun---"
Mulder had his hands on Spender's neck, and twisted until he heard the pop and the cessation of pulse.
"---and mirrors. The ones I'm not in, anymore."
He stepped over the no-longer-Cigarette Smoking Man's body and started to
search the apartment. He poured a tall glass of scotch, lit up one of the bastard's Morleys, and methodically began going through the file cabinet in the den.
*
Scully was still in a daze of grief. She just couldn't believe that Mulder was dead, that he'd left instructions for a Jewish burial without embalming---what the hell was that about, she wondered---and she kept her promise not to cut him up. "Let it be a mystery if one of Them gets me," he'd said. "Keep your little hands off my corpse."
So it was weirder than weird that the cemetery in South Carolina called to say that someone had robbed his grave and stolen his body, the final unbelievable event in Mulder's unbelievable life.
"Why would someone take his body, now?" she asked A.D. Skinner. "It's---
ridiculous."
Skinner shifted uneasily in his desk chair. "Agent Scully, everything about Mulder has been bizarre. I still blame myself for losing him in the forest. We should never have been there." His starched shirt crackled under his stress, and he had a peculiarly fatherly vibe going.
Okay, if she was going to start hearing Mulder's voice in her head, she really would talk to Father Joe again.
Scully waved her hand. "You told me that. I feel the same. But this, it's so strange."
"If you feel that you should investigate it, by all means go there. Mulder was a federal agent, killed in the line of duty. The Bureau still takes care of its own. I'm not letting our guys' graves be desecrated." This last said with clenched-jaw Mean Marine anger. That was more like their A.D., the one Mulder had claimed to be frightened of.
Another one of his stupid, straight-faced jokes.
Scully went home that evening, and saw two messages on her answering machine. One from her mother, and one from....
She dropped her sack of groceries, and apples spilled out of the bag and rolled across the room.
Mulder's voice.
"Scully, I didn't want to shock you, but I knew you wouldn't believe it unless you heard my voice. A couple of things.
"One, I'm still dead. Two, I'm a vampire. Three, I'm leaving town. Four, don't try to find me, because, uh, I'm an evil soulless creature now, and I would probably try to bite you. We kind of like to eat the people we loved. Five, I feel okay about it. Six, uh, now do you believe in the supernatural? Seven----there is no seven.
"Seriously, Scully---thanks for not slicin' and dicin' me. I know it was hard for you to resist putting me under your scalpel. Good-bye."
Scully sat on the floor next to the machine and replayed it six times. It was his voice. It was Mulder. What the hell? Vampires? Vampires?
Oh, if this had been a trick, she was going to kill him.
She pulled the tape cassette out of the answering machine and went back out, kicking aside an apple.
Frohike kept polishing his glasses. "Scully, every single test we have says that it's Mulder's voice. It's not a re-creation. It's not faked. It's Mulder."
"And that's not all, " Byers said. "Old acquaintances are being found dead all over town." He pointed to one of his computer screens. "Recognize any of these names?"
"Spender," she whispered. "Oh, don't tell me that he was exsanguinated!"
"No, his neck was broken," Byers said. "Nothing stolen. His place was tossed." He waited a moment. "The others were exsanguinated."
Langly shoved a computer chair to her. "You may want to sit down, Scully."
She sat down.
"Are you seriously---are you saying----vampires? Vampires?"
Byers put a hand up to his chin, and ruffled his beard. "Have you been to Mulder's apartment, Scully? Since the funeral?"
"I took the aquarium to my place, but nothing else."
"We may want to check it out."
The door to Apartment 42 opened easily. "Lock's smashed," Byers observed.
Inside, they separated and looked around. Byers sat down and booted up the computer. "Someone's been online yesterday," he said.
"His suitcase is gone," Scully said. She looked at the dining room table. "His wallet is gone. I put it there, myself, with his badge and ID."
"Well, if it's not Mulder, then it's a clone," Langly said. "Personally, I'd just as soon think about vampires, because---that'd be cool."
"It would be just like Mulder to get vamped," Frohike agreed.
Scully sat down on the couch, Mulder's ID in her hand. "Just like him."
Author: Tesla
Genre: Angel/X-Files crossover
This is AU. There is no miracle pregnancy. It takes off where Mulder wasn't abducted by aliens, but by Wolfram & Hart, contracted out by the Consortium. Drusilla vamped him. Hijinks ensue. Also, the space and time continuums are warped so that all this happens late AtS season 2, BtVS season 5.
Black lunged asshole had actually invited him in. Didn't these guys share information, read a memo?
It was just like that "Far Side" cartoon. "Blah blah conspiracy blah Resist or Serve, blah blah Fight or Die, blah, Agent Mulder, are you listening to me?"
"No," Mulder said, and went into game face.
Jesus, he nearly lost it, at the old bastard's expression.
"Yeah, vampire now. Cool, huh? Turns out your extra-terrestrials are just
demons with a hell of a inter-dimensional ship. All fucking smoke---if you'll
excuse the pun---"
Mulder had his hands on Spender's neck, and twisted until he heard the pop and the cessation of pulse.
"---and mirrors. The ones I'm not in, anymore."
He stepped over the no-longer-Cigarette Smoking Man's body and started to
search the apartment. He poured a tall glass of scotch, lit up one of the bastard's Morleys, and methodically began going through the file cabinet in the den.
*
Scully was still in a daze of grief. She just couldn't believe that Mulder was dead, that he'd left instructions for a Jewish burial without embalming---what the hell was that about, she wondered---and she kept her promise not to cut him up. "Let it be a mystery if one of Them gets me," he'd said. "Keep your little hands off my corpse."
So it was weirder than weird that the cemetery in South Carolina called to say that someone had robbed his grave and stolen his body, the final unbelievable event in Mulder's unbelievable life.
"Why would someone take his body, now?" she asked A.D. Skinner. "It's---
ridiculous."
Skinner shifted uneasily in his desk chair. "Agent Scully, everything about Mulder has been bizarre. I still blame myself for losing him in the forest. We should never have been there." His starched shirt crackled under his stress, and he had a peculiarly fatherly vibe going.
Okay, if she was going to start hearing Mulder's voice in her head, she really would talk to Father Joe again.
Scully waved her hand. "You told me that. I feel the same. But this, it's so strange."
"If you feel that you should investigate it, by all means go there. Mulder was a federal agent, killed in the line of duty. The Bureau still takes care of its own. I'm not letting our guys' graves be desecrated." This last said with clenched-jaw Mean Marine anger. That was more like their A.D., the one Mulder had claimed to be frightened of.
Another one of his stupid, straight-faced jokes.
Scully went home that evening, and saw two messages on her answering machine. One from her mother, and one from....
She dropped her sack of groceries, and apples spilled out of the bag and rolled across the room.
Mulder's voice.
"Scully, I didn't want to shock you, but I knew you wouldn't believe it unless you heard my voice. A couple of things.
"One, I'm still dead. Two, I'm a vampire. Three, I'm leaving town. Four, don't try to find me, because, uh, I'm an evil soulless creature now, and I would probably try to bite you. We kind of like to eat the people we loved. Five, I feel okay about it. Six, uh, now do you believe in the supernatural? Seven----there is no seven.
"Seriously, Scully---thanks for not slicin' and dicin' me. I know it was hard for you to resist putting me under your scalpel. Good-bye."
Scully sat on the floor next to the machine and replayed it six times. It was his voice. It was Mulder. What the hell? Vampires? Vampires?
Oh, if this had been a trick, she was going to kill him.
She pulled the tape cassette out of the answering machine and went back out, kicking aside an apple.
Frohike kept polishing his glasses. "Scully, every single test we have says that it's Mulder's voice. It's not a re-creation. It's not faked. It's Mulder."
"And that's not all, " Byers said. "Old acquaintances are being found dead all over town." He pointed to one of his computer screens. "Recognize any of these names?"
"Spender," she whispered. "Oh, don't tell me that he was exsanguinated!"
"No, his neck was broken," Byers said. "Nothing stolen. His place was tossed." He waited a moment. "The others were exsanguinated."
Langly shoved a computer chair to her. "You may want to sit down, Scully."
She sat down.
"Are you seriously---are you saying----vampires? Vampires?"
Byers put a hand up to his chin, and ruffled his beard. "Have you been to Mulder's apartment, Scully? Since the funeral?"
"I took the aquarium to my place, but nothing else."
"We may want to check it out."
The door to Apartment 42 opened easily. "Lock's smashed," Byers observed.
Inside, they separated and looked around. Byers sat down and booted up the computer. "Someone's been online yesterday," he said.
"His suitcase is gone," Scully said. She looked at the dining room table. "His wallet is gone. I put it there, myself, with his badge and ID."
"Well, if it's not Mulder, then it's a clone," Langly said. "Personally, I'd just as soon think about vampires, because---that'd be cool."
"It would be just like Mulder to get vamped," Frohike agreed.
Scully sat down on the couch, Mulder's ID in her hand. "Just like him."