You would never stop smiling for me right? (one-shot)
“What do like about each member?”
“Well Yamapi is cool…Ryotan’s very nice. Kei-chan is so caring! And Shige is funny… Massu…Massu…I love his smile.”
Tegoshi answered his question before looking up at Massu delivering him a grin. Massu didn’t know what else to do but to return an equally wide grin at him.
---
You would never stop smiling for me right?
Tegoshi had asked when there were only the two of them left in the room.
You would never stop smiling for me even if I don’t need your smile anymore right?
Tegoshi went on to grip tightly onto Massu’s arms, looking at him with pleading eyes, as though Massu was the one who held onto the fate of his life.
Massu looked back into the pair of clear eyes, and sees his own reflection, a genuine smile spread across that face.
It is true they kissed, they cuddled, and they shared intimate moments together. Emotionally, they clung onto each other, and depended on each other to maintain the self they portrayed to the public, because it was only when they were with each other, will their true selves reveal.
However what their relationship is, no one had a clue. Most classified the two best friends, some think they’re lovers, while a few others believe it’s just an act.
---
“What are we Tegoshi?” He plucked up the courage to ask one day.
“Mmm…” Tegoshi made a sound from his lap.
“Friends? Best friends? Or…” He questioned.
Tegoshi sat up and proceeded on to lean back onto him.
“Massu…your heart is beating very fast...”
“I…”
“Shh…”
Tegoshi tilted his head up at Massu and looked at him with his large eyes.
“Aren’t we very well the way we are now?”
And Massu simply smiled…
---
“I just want to know if the two of you are lovers.” Ryo approached him and asked.
Massu stood still, unsure of what to answer him.
“Say yes or no.” Ryo ordered impatiently.
“I don’t know…”
“Didn’t I ask you to say yes or no?”
“I can’t tell…”
“Massu…I am not trying to steal him away from you or anything, really. I just want to know if it’s really fine the way I play with him. I’m afraid you’d be jealous or such…” Ryo admitted.
“Oh.”
“So?”
“I guess you could say…no.” Massu lowered his head.
Ryo patted his shoulders before walking away.
Would you have allowed me? If I said yes?
---
“Massu I’m dating someone.” He said, back facing him, after Massu stepped out of the showers.
Massu dropped the towel he was holding and it landed silently on the carpeted floor.
Why?
He gestured for Massu to sit beside him by the bed and Massu did as he was instructed.
“She’s a really nice girl. You’ve met her before, and I’m sure you’d like her a lot.” Tegoshi told him while looking deep into his eyes as though trying to tell him something; to which, Massu interpreted as him seeking for permission.
Why do you bother to ask for permission? Could I even stop you?
“So are you moving out of this apartment…” our apartment?
“Hmm of course not. I am just dating her, it’s not like we’re getting married or something.” Tegoshi explained.
Massu nodded, his heart aching.
“Didn’t you say you’d smile for me?” Tegoshi asked placing his arms on Massu shoulders, bringing their faces together.
Tegoshi, it hurts, really.
And Massu smiled.
Tegoshi slowly returned the smile, before closing in to kiss Massu on the lips, and eventually both ended cuddling in bed, in the closest form they could be.
---
Love is selfish.
Sometimes people tell him the way Tegoshi treats him is too selfish.
So does that mean Tegoshi loves him just the way he loves him too?
“Massu stop daydreaming!” Tegoshi laughed as he sat down with a pretty girl, framed in silky long hair.
“I want you to meet Yui.” He smiled, putting their entwined hands on the table for display.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Masuda-san.” She said with a shy voice.
“Yui just call him Massu! We’re the best of friends, and so I want my girlfriend to be on friendly terms with my closest person!” Tegoshi said, and effectively brought a stab into Massu’s heart.
“I’ve got to go.” Massu suddenly stood up and announced.
“Eh why? So soon? I thought we were going to have dinner together?” Tegoshi exclaimed.
“Sorry Tegoshi…I remembered I need to send something important to my family.” He lied.
“See you next time. It was nice meeting you Yui-chan.” Massu bowed before making his way out of the restaurant.
---
Massu walked and walked and ended up in the park when he reasoned that he could not go back to their shared apartment yet, else it’d be so obvious he was lying.
Why can’t you just understand?
He suddenly felt a pull on his jacket from behind and turned around to see a hunched Tegoshi panting at his feet.
“Tegoshi?”
“I…I was chasing…you walked so fast…”
“What about Yui-chan? You left her in the restaurant??”
“Why…are you jealous?” Tegoshi turned to look up at Massu.
“You ditched the girlfriend you’ve barely gone out together with for a month in a restaurant and now you’re asking me whether I am jealous???”
Tegoshi forcefully twirled him around and pulled him close into a hug.
“I am only concerned about the most important person to me now.” Tegoshi whispered into Massu’s ears.
“He has promised me to always smile…and somehow I feel that I have done something to make the smile go away…I just wish…that it would come back to me…” He said with an earnest voice.
And this was when Massu pushed apart and looked deep into Tegoshi’s eyes, hesitated, before giving him the widest grin he had.
That night, was unforgettable for Massu.
“Is it alright that you left her there today…”
“You care?”
“I care about you.”
“I care about you too.”
---
He thought they broke up afterwards. It wasn’t until he saw the magazines. Those pictures were nonetheless the couple he met the other night.
He became extremely gloomy and all the NEWS members could sense the reason behind the unusually quiet Massu.
When Tegoshi returned from meeting Johnny san, he only came face to face with another man whose face was an uncountable number of times darker than the previous.
“Massu…”
“I’m going home.” Massu spoke without looking at Tegoshi as he walked past him.
“MASSU!” Tegoshi shouted and stuck out a hand to grab onto Massu’s sleeves, only to have it cruelly shrugged off by the latter.
Massu took a few more steps before he heard a soft voice question.
“Didn’t you say you’d never stop smiling for me…” as tears rolled down Tegoshi's cheeks.
And Massu didn’t turn back to smile.
He simply walked on…
---
Massu started to get restless at home after a while.
He wondered where Tegoshi was at this point of time, whether he has eaten dinner already, whether he remembered to wear a few more layers despite spring’s approaching.
The more he tried to stop himself the more he can’t help but think about the person he shared a huge part of his life with.
---
The next day turned out to be a holiday for them as the photo shoot was postponed to the following week.
Massu sat at the door all day and waited for Tegoshi’s return and yet there were no sign of the other even by nightfall.
“Massu-kun?”
Massu looked up to see someone he wasn’t exactly expecting nor wanting to see at this point of time.
“Yui-san…”
“I know you dislike me now but please hear me explain everything.” She gestured.
Massu wasn’t an unreasonable person, and so he nodded.
“I am just Yuya’s good friend. His confidante… That day we met was actually a favor he asked. We aren’t dating at all. I have a boyfriend in actual fact…he’s a pianist.”
“Then…why…”
“Massu-kun can’t you tell?” She asked with an impatient tone.
“Who Yuya-kun really loves??” She prompted.
“But if he loves me…why is he doing all these…”
“Sighs…have you ever once said you love him, or you want him to be yours, to be together or words like such?” Yui asked.
Massu thought hard and shook his head regretfully.
“Exactly…he’s been waiting for it since forever. If you don’t say it to him how would he ever know?”
Massu immediately stood up, knowing what he should do next.
“Please tell me where is he now…”
“I can’t. But it’s an easy guess, considering which other member in NEWS lives in an apartment by himself.” Yui hinted.
Apartment…by himself…RYO-CHAN!
He dashed before stopping again to look at Yui.
“Thanks really…for being such a good friend of that boy. And sorry for all the trouble…with the rumor in the magazine…” Massu said sincerely.
“No worries.” Yui smiled back sweetly.
---
Open the door…open the door please…
“Nishikido kun! Is Tegoshi in???” Massu asked the moment the door opened.
“He’s in…I’m just on my way to join Kanjani 8 in Osaka. You know what to do. So see you before I miss my train.” Ryo whispered before stepping out to let Massu in, patting him on the shoulders for good luck.
“Tegoshi…” Massu called out and saw a small boy curled up in a ball at the bedside.
It seemed like the confident Tegoshi has suddenly reverted back to the young one years ago who always sought protection from him. Shriveling up in his shell once Massu isn’t around.
He kneeled down and touched Tegoshi on the arm, feeling the latter twitch under his touch.
“I am sorry…” Massu whispered.
“Look at me Tegoshi…please…” He begged.
Tegoshi finally raised his head, tears stains still obvious.
“I apologize. I should have trusted you. I should have told you my feeling from the start and not leave you to wonder by yourself. I still want to smile for you…even if one day you might not need it anymore…”
Tegoshi heard him and lunged forward into Massu’s arms.
“I thought you don’t want me anymore.”
“Silly. I want no one else in this world beside you.” Massu patted him on the head.
“So…well this is a bit cheesy to ask and I’m never good with such stuff…but would you be mine?”
Tegoshi looked at him and started to nod like a little puppy wagging it’s tail.
It was there and then Massu smiled his widest and most genuine grin.
“And you evil boy, remember this, don’t hold any other people’s hands beside mine. Well even if she’s a good friend. I’d be very jealous even if I don’t show it.” Massu joked.
Tegoshi laughed.
“I’ll make it up to you then.” Tegoshi whispered before leaning forward to kiss him.
When they finally parted...
“Should we go home? This is Nishikido-kun’s apartment after all…”
“I’m sure he won’t mind.” Tegoshi grinned.
“What if he’s got hidden cameras somewhere?”
“You’re being paranoid.”
“Maybe…” But he kissed Tegoshi again anyway.
---
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT NISHIKIDO?!” Yokoyama screamed as he peeped from behind Ryo.
“SHHHHHHHHHH! Don’t let the whole world know!” Ryo flushed.