Are you really happy. [one-shot]
Tegoshi dragged his feet as he walked on aimlessly amongst the crowd, lost in his thoughts.
“It was entirely your fault. You are the cause of everything. Takahisa would be having a happy family, one that his family would approve of…what sort of evil spell did you put on him?! Let him go will you? Why can’t you target at someone else, and have to choose someone as kind and innocent as Takahisa?!”
The words echoed in his head repeatedly.
It’s true, he doesn’t deny the fact that it was him the one who was really infatuated with Massu in the beginning, that later led to this unusual relationship between two boys, now men.
Is it so wrong to fall in love?
He loves Massu.
He loves Massu’s smile.
He loves Massu’s voice.
He loves Massu’s “Okaeri” that awaits him everyday in their two room apartment.
He loves Massu’s slightly burnt breakfast that sits on the table every morning.
He loves Massu’s hugs when days get a little bleak.
He loves Massu’s kisses that tell him he is everything that matters in the world.
He loves Massu’s eyes which would always be on him when the two are together.
He also loves Massu’s seriousness…
When Massu sings.
When Massu dances.
When Massu fulfils his every role in dramas.
And most importantly, when Massu tells him, “I love you, Tegoshi.”
The list can go on and on…he’s very sure.
They have faith in their relationship, something yet to be accepted by the vast majority, and therefore with faith, came obstacles to test it.
“I can’t believe you got him into such an unnatural relationship! Weren’t you two best friends?!”
Massu’s ex-girlfriend shouted at him about a few hours ago. What confused Tegoshi was that, it’s love between them, and isn’t love naturally formed between two people?
Aki-chan called Tegoshi up to meet in an expensive café. There were only the two of them in the eerily- serene environment. The fact was that Massu had broken up with her for months, refusing to tell her the reason behind it.
“This relationship belongs to the two of us. I don’t need to proclaim this to the whole world to show you how much I love you.” Massu whispered into his ears, before pulling back to kiss him gently on the lips.
Though that’s what Massu said, Tegoshi understood it was really because Massu did not want to expose him to unnecessary harm caused by the ugly side of human nature. He wanted Tegoshi safe, unharmed by the negative consequences this relationship might bring to the two.
“You’re ugly. You’re evil. How exactly did you trick him into loving you?”
Aki-chan learnt the truth later on from other friends. It was only until a week ago, she called him for this meet up.
“How do you think Takahisa’s family would think if they knew? She’d hate you. Takahisa’s mum would hate you!”
She said those words with such vengeance, sending chills down Tegoshi’s spine.
Ever since young, he has been taught, there’s nothing wrong with being in love. Love is a beautiful thing. The kind-hearted princess always deserved their princes and their princes’ love in the end and they always lived their lives happily ever after. And so, Tegoshi was taught to be kind. He lived each day with compassion and anticipation for his happily ever after. It seemed fate had hand-picked him to suffer this ordeal.
“Takahisa’s too kind to tell you that. He’s too kind to tell you that you’re the one making him suffer. Even if he really dislikes someone, he’d still treat the person well. You know that very well don’t you?”
And so maybe…maybe he’s causing Massu to suffer without knowing it. Maybe he’s really evil, and oblivious to it. Don’t they always call him ‘self-centered with no ill intentions’? Even Massu said that too…and so maybe they’re just being polite. Maybe…he should leave Massu…
Tegoshi continued walking along the street, unsure where it’d bring him to. Snow flakes fell from the sky covering the pavement in whiteness. People have already started to disperse from the usually crowded street of Tokyo. Some relieved upon reaching their destination, other sought shelter as they observed the gray sky with a frown. Tegoshi’s fingers and face were cold, but he was too numb, too lost in his thoughts to pay any regards to them.
“Why don’t you give Takahisa a choice? Ask him, is he’s really happy with you?”
Massu’s smile, Massu’s laughter, Massu’s kind words…were all those simply illusions? One that he created in his mind just to convince himself the both of them were happy together. But they felt so real.
“You’re suffocating him.”
Tegoshi stopped in his tracks. There was almost no one else on the streets anymore. Snow covered the pavement almost an inch deep. Houses lit up in the darkness, while he stood there alone, in the cold night of Tokyo.
“Tegoshi…”
An illusion?
“Tegoshi!”
Another echo through his head?
“Tegoshi, I found you at last!”
A pair of arms enveloped him from behind, and instantly he seems to feel warmth.
The pair of arms spun his around, and he found a pair of worried eyes studying him.
“Are you cold?” The concerned voice asked.
“Silly boy, what are you doing outside when it’s so cold? Didn’t they forecast the snow yesterday? Why didn’t you wear more?” The other continued as he removed his jacket and scarf only to put them on Tegoshi.
“Are you really happy?” Tegoshi mumbled.
“What?”
“Are you really happy being with me? If you aren’t we can break up, I won’t hold you back…” Tegoshi said with an aching heart.
“What did Aki say to you? Did she put ideas into your silly brain?”
Tegoshi shook his head.
Massu smiled.
“To put it simply, I am happy with you. But if you’d let me elaborate, you’re the reason I came to understand happiness. You’re the reason I have such a bright smile. If my life’s ever tough, then being with you made it possible for me to pull through. Don’t ever doubt my love for you, because that’s when, you’re really torturing me.”
Massu smiled then tilted his head to plant a kiss on Tegoshi’s lips.
“I love you…Tegoshi.”
Tegoshi couldn’t help but grin; a hundred and eighty degree change in mood from before.
“Ah choo……” Massu sneezed.
“Looks like...she’s right…I really am causing you trouble…” Tegoshi sighed.
Massu grinned again.
“You’re wrong. I actually planned to fall sick, just so that you’d take care of me.”
Tegoshi stared at the laughing man in disbelief.
“So why don’t you take my hand and bring me home now? Else I’d really have a high fever this time.” Massu suggested, sticking his hand out at Tegoshi.
Tegoshi looked down at the large hand and took it without any hesitation.
“You know?”
“Yeah?” Tegoshi replied.
“Your hand fits so nicely into mine. We must be meant to be together.” Massu told him with a blush.