(no subject)
i know part of whats been bothering me so much about it now...i've been feeling so isolated and alone the past few days...i think i'm coming down from a powerful adrenaline high, combined with issues i had before i even left...i can't talk to anyone here, and there's not been anyone at all online for more than ten minutes...Z has R, S has O (and a fucking plethora of others), which kills me......i feel so fucking needy and insecure again...i have that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach like i just lost something sooo good, but i didn't have anything to lose like that...
so what the fuck is it?...is it my online life suddenly ending or something else?...
i know there's something here i'm missing, and i need to identify it if i'm going to feel any better...
its times like this that i would get drunk at home...makes me realize in retrospect just how close to becoming an alcoholic i really was...i plan to pick up right where i left off when i get back, but...
the bottom line is he's there, i'm not, and he isn't talking...i just....
never mind...
so what the fuck is it?...is it my online life suddenly ending or something else?...
i know there's something here i'm missing, and i need to identify it if i'm going to feel any better...
its times like this that i would get drunk at home...makes me realize in retrospect just how close to becoming an alcoholic i really was...i plan to pick up right where i left off when i get back, but...
the bottom line is he's there, i'm not, and he isn't talking...i just....
never mind...