Time After Time
so ive been reading old posts the past few days...
seems i always want the same things...
such as getting married, having kids, and financial security....
well ive decided instead of focusing on all that i want, ima try to focus on what i have...
and become more organized, therefor i could get the things i want...
so by being more organized im going to hafta budget more...
im broke! well this year is a better broke than previous years, due to the fact that im actually buying my NY ticket and ive bought presents for my family this year, unlike every other year that ive lived in this town...
i also need to figure out my future job wise...
sure i have a degree and some experience, but i just dont have the passion for it that i seemed to have 2 years ago when i moved here... i just dont know if life in production is really what i want... and in the same area i know i dont want to continue to be at BBB yet another year... and i know i say this time after time... but i really wanna focus on getting outta there and doing something that i enjoy!
next i need to figure out where i truly wanna live and settle down... is chris the real thing? does that mean im willing to sacrifice my happiness to live in this town until he's ready to move or figure out exactly what he wants to do? and am i ready to accept being so far from everyone else i love and miss... am i independent enough to say goodbye to my comforts of family and friends? ive been contemplating this alot lately, due to the fact that im spending christmas away from all that im used to, with someone ive never spent christmas with before... im really stressed about it... Chris is doing what he can, and im having a late christmas with my mom in Jan... so really why am i allowing myself to stress and be overwhelmed? i really shouldnt be... but thats where i hafta go back to focusing on being happy for what i have and not dwelling on things i want or dont have... im just so used to these certain traditions and events, that i should instead be making my own traditions and events, so that this holiday season im not so focused on what i dont have... and maybe a lil more focused on being happy and good to go...
well i guess thats it for now... im sure ill be back here a lot the next few days... its easiest to type up my thoughts due to i sound crazy when i talk about it all...
seems i always want the same things...
such as getting married, having kids, and financial security....
well ive decided instead of focusing on all that i want, ima try to focus on what i have...
and become more organized, therefor i could get the things i want...
so by being more organized im going to hafta budget more...
im broke! well this year is a better broke than previous years, due to the fact that im actually buying my NY ticket and ive bought presents for my family this year, unlike every other year that ive lived in this town...
i also need to figure out my future job wise...
sure i have a degree and some experience, but i just dont have the passion for it that i seemed to have 2 years ago when i moved here... i just dont know if life in production is really what i want... and in the same area i know i dont want to continue to be at BBB yet another year... and i know i say this time after time... but i really wanna focus on getting outta there and doing something that i enjoy!
next i need to figure out where i truly wanna live and settle down... is chris the real thing? does that mean im willing to sacrifice my happiness to live in this town until he's ready to move or figure out exactly what he wants to do? and am i ready to accept being so far from everyone else i love and miss... am i independent enough to say goodbye to my comforts of family and friends? ive been contemplating this alot lately, due to the fact that im spending christmas away from all that im used to, with someone ive never spent christmas with before... im really stressed about it... Chris is doing what he can, and im having a late christmas with my mom in Jan... so really why am i allowing myself to stress and be overwhelmed? i really shouldnt be... but thats where i hafta go back to focusing on being happy for what i have and not dwelling on things i want or dont have... im just so used to these certain traditions and events, that i should instead be making my own traditions and events, so that this holiday season im not so focused on what i dont have... and maybe a lil more focused on being happy and good to go...
well i guess thats it for now... im sure ill be back here a lot the next few days... its easiest to type up my thoughts due to i sound crazy when i talk about it all...