LISTEN UP CUZ I'M ONLY DOING THIS ONCE (likeanyonecares)
OK I wrote a kinda SRS BSNS Watchmen DA MOVIE review because I'M A TWAT and just read the GN again for the first time after watching it.
This is mainly my feelings about the movie IN RELTATION TO THE GN (using GN instead of comic makes me feel like a dick xD ).
I'm not gonna bitch and be all "BAWWW HE DIDN'T PUT THAT ONE BOOK IN THE BACKGROUND AT THE CORRECT ANGLE ON PANEL 6 ON PAGE 25" blah blah blah because THAT'S FUCKING RETARDED.......OK I did it in one spot.
THINGS THE MOVIE FALIED
1) LAURIE JUSPECKYCKAHLKDJFHASJF:
In the comic, Laurie was an asshole. This is understandable, her mom was an asshole and her dad was a giant flaming asshole. WHY THE FUCK WAS SHE A WHINY BORING PURELY REACTIONARY CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE?!?!?! Also, in the comic, she was 6543584736873684 times more mature. She humored Dan's costume fetish, she put up with Jon's crazy shit, and she could empathize with others, which was a huge difference from the OOH LOOK AT ME I'M THE ONLY LADY SUPERHERO AND I TOTES KICK ASS YEAH! kinda feel from the movie.
Also, MALIN ACKERMAN CANNOT ACT.
2) ADRIAN VEIDT:
OK, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Matthew Goode's performance, but for me he simply wasn't Ozy, both in looks and attitude (i'm bouts to knitpick the fuck out of this shit). He needed to be bigger/more muscular, manly, and y'know more stereotypically heroic-looking. Less shallowly, he needed to be more sympathetic. In the comic, he always exudes this air of benevolence and sadness. He was vain as fuck, but he--at least I think so--really cared about the state of the world.
He also needed to be more obviously (stereotypically) American/Western. THAT MEANS NO FUCKING GERMAN ACCENT, NOT EVEN A LITTLE. There's a very good reason for this. In the comic , what was so shocking about the ending (besides the giant vageyena dropped in NY) was that the "most heroic" character--which means the most red-blooded American type traditionally in comics--committed the "evil act." The German accent associated Ozy with Germany, which means he's the UNTRUSTWORTHY FOREIGNER*. The xenophobia irked me because it was very obviously and conscientiously removed from the comic.
*I read a lot into shit, y'kno subtext and all FUCKIN SUE ME.
3) NO "NEW MILLENNIUM" SHIT FROM VEIDT:
K, I didn't want to bitch about shit they cut out, but I reaaaaally thought they should've tossed more of this around. Yeah, yeah, there's no squid which kinda fucks with that, but in the movie, the ending felt more like an ending, the end of the 2.5 hour grand narrative. In the comic, it almost didn't feel like an end, it just left us with a feeling of anticipation---for a tenious start to a new era/better era whatthefuckever, which kills any grand narrative and leaves more ambiguity.
........I can't explain things to save my life. Shit, I almost don't understand what I'm talking about sometimes.
THINGS THE MOVIE IMPROVED (OMGWTFBLASHPEMY) They're few, but they're there
1) MINOR CHARACTERS:
Wally: I liked how they fleshed him out.
Malcolm the Psychiatrist: Sure, we don't his progression, which was a great touch in the comic, but at least in the movie he wasn't a fucking retard.
Sally Jupiter: I thought she was more believable in the movie--a little more mature, a little more bitter/jaded, and not as self-centered. EXCEPT FOR THE ALMOST-RAPE SCENE (sorry I'm going all raging feminist here). She did not, did not "want it" in the comic--she was very clearly pissed that Eddie walked in while she was changing!
2)"GRATUITOUS" VIOLENCE
Alright, just for starters, this comic was made back in the 80's when people got more easily butthurt over shit. If Snyder had stuck to the comic exactly, it would have been way fucking tame by nowadays standard. Also, it's a fucking movie, we go to those to see shit like that.
Anyway, I thought in a lot of cases the more X-TREME violence added importance to the feel of it. When Walter became Rorschach, the more violent way he killed the guy was much more demonstrativeof that mental break down than in the comic. Cutting off the guys arms in the prison scene with Rory and Big Figure made more sense that just slitting his throat, cuz really, then all you have is a dead guy still in your way. There's a few others but I don't give a shit.
3)MINUTE MEN COSTUMES: Because I'm a shallow five year old who sees "oooh preettty coloooors!!"
4) JON:
To be honest, once I got his story, I couldn't give two shits about him in the comic. Maybe it's just hearing him and seeing him move around, but Jon was one of the coolest things about this movie--especially his back story (best non-Rory scene in the movie).
.......................
Ok, I do have one problem--he was too human. His indifference was very much integral to his character and it really gave the comic that nice feel of hopelessness.
THINGS IN THE MOVIE THAT DID THE GN GRAET JUSTICE
1) RORSCHACH AND THE COMEDIAN: Two favorite characters in the comic, loved all thier scenes. 'Nuff said
2) THE MUSIC: I actually liked all of the song selections. There were some campy moments, but they're just reflecting the sometimes campy material of the comic.
3) ALTERNATE ENDING: I'll admit, I was extremely pissed when I first heard Vageyena Squid wouldn't be in it, but I understand the reasoning's. Ok, at first I thought that blaming Jon would make him too influential a character, (in the comic he was emphasized as having little to no direct influence to everything around him cuz he's soooo fucking indifferent ) but it makes logical sense, almost more that the squid.
4)THE "HALLELUJAH" SEX SCENE: I lol'd when I read that part in the comic, I lol'd when I watched it in theaters. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BUTTHURT BONERS.
5) GENERAL "ERA" FEELS: The costumes/music/architecture and all that shit really put me back in those decades I wasn't alive in, and that's what I liked about the comic. Good job, movie.
Ok, just to sum up, I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE.
Yeah, I know--Cool story bro.
This is mainly my feelings about the movie IN RELTATION TO THE GN (using GN instead of comic makes me feel like a dick xD ).
I'm not gonna bitch and be all "BAWWW HE DIDN'T PUT THAT ONE BOOK IN THE BACKGROUND AT THE CORRECT ANGLE ON PANEL 6 ON PAGE 25" blah blah blah because THAT'S FUCKING RETARDED.......OK I did it in one spot.
THINGS THE MOVIE FALIED
1) LAURIE JUSPECKYCKAHLKDJFHASJF:
In the comic, Laurie was an asshole. This is understandable, her mom was an asshole and her dad was a giant flaming asshole. WHY THE FUCK WAS SHE A WHINY BORING PURELY REACTIONARY CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE?!?!?! Also, in the comic, she was 6543584736873684 times more mature. She humored Dan's costume fetish, she put up with Jon's crazy shit, and she could empathize with others, which was a huge difference from the OOH LOOK AT ME I'M THE ONLY LADY SUPERHERO AND I TOTES KICK ASS YEAH! kinda feel from the movie.
Also, MALIN ACKERMAN CANNOT ACT.
2) ADRIAN VEIDT:
OK, don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Matthew Goode's performance, but for me he simply wasn't Ozy, both in looks and attitude (i'm bouts to knitpick the fuck out of this shit). He needed to be bigger/more muscular, manly, and y'know more stereotypically heroic-looking. Less shallowly, he needed to be more sympathetic. In the comic, he always exudes this air of benevolence and sadness. He was vain as fuck, but he--at least I think so--really cared about the state of the world.
He also needed to be more obviously (stereotypically) American/Western. THAT MEANS NO FUCKING GERMAN ACCENT, NOT EVEN A LITTLE. There's a very good reason for this. In the comic , what was so shocking about the ending (besides the giant vageyena dropped in NY) was that the "most heroic" character--which means the most red-blooded American type traditionally in comics--committed the "evil act." The German accent associated Ozy with Germany, which means he's the UNTRUSTWORTHY FOREIGNER*. The xenophobia irked me because it was very obviously and conscientiously removed from the comic.
*I read a lot into shit, y'kno subtext and all FUCKIN SUE ME.
3) NO "NEW MILLENNIUM" SHIT FROM VEIDT:
K, I didn't want to bitch about shit they cut out, but I reaaaaally thought they should've tossed more of this around. Yeah, yeah, there's no squid which kinda fucks with that, but in the movie, the ending felt more like an ending, the end of the 2.5 hour grand narrative. In the comic, it almost didn't feel like an end, it just left us with a feeling of anticipation---for a tenious start to a new era/better era whatthefuckever, which kills any grand narrative and leaves more ambiguity.
........I can't explain things to save my life. Shit, I almost don't understand what I'm talking about sometimes.
THINGS THE MOVIE IMPROVED (OMGWTFBLASHPEMY) They're few, but they're there
1) MINOR CHARACTERS:
Wally: I liked how they fleshed him out.
Malcolm the Psychiatrist: Sure, we don't his progression, which was a great touch in the comic, but at least in the movie he wasn't a fucking retard.
Sally Jupiter: I thought she was more believable in the movie--a little more mature, a little more bitter/jaded, and not as self-centered. EXCEPT FOR THE ALMOST-RAPE SCENE (sorry I'm going all raging feminist here). She did not, did not "want it" in the comic--she was very clearly pissed that Eddie walked in while she was changing!
2)"GRATUITOUS" VIOLENCE
Alright, just for starters, this comic was made back in the 80's when people got more easily butthurt over shit. If Snyder had stuck to the comic exactly, it would have been way fucking tame by nowadays standard. Also, it's a fucking movie, we go to those to see shit like that.
Anyway, I thought in a lot of cases the more X-TREME violence added importance to the feel of it. When Walter became Rorschach, the more violent way he killed the guy was much more demonstrativeof that mental break down than in the comic. Cutting off the guys arms in the prison scene with Rory and Big Figure made more sense that just slitting his throat, cuz really, then all you have is a dead guy still in your way. There's a few others but I don't give a shit.
3)MINUTE MEN COSTUMES: Because I'm a shallow five year old who sees "oooh preettty coloooors!!"
4) JON:
To be honest, once I got his story, I couldn't give two shits about him in the comic. Maybe it's just hearing him and seeing him move around, but Jon was one of the coolest things about this movie--especially his back story (best non-Rory scene in the movie).
.......................
Ok, I do have one problem--he was too human. His indifference was very much integral to his character and it really gave the comic that nice feel of hopelessness.
THINGS IN THE MOVIE THAT DID THE GN GRAET JUSTICE
1) RORSCHACH AND THE COMEDIAN: Two favorite characters in the comic, loved all thier scenes. 'Nuff said
2) THE MUSIC: I actually liked all of the song selections. There were some campy moments, but they're just reflecting the sometimes campy material of the comic.
3) ALTERNATE ENDING: I'll admit, I was extremely pissed when I first heard Vageyena Squid wouldn't be in it, but I understand the reasoning's. Ok, at first I thought that blaming Jon would make him too influential a character, (in the comic he was emphasized as having little to no direct influence to everything around him cuz he's soooo fucking indifferent ) but it makes logical sense, almost more that the squid.
4)THE "HALLELUJAH" SEX SCENE: I lol'd when I read that part in the comic, I lol'd when I watched it in theaters. FUCK YOU AND YOUR BUTTHURT BONERS.
5) GENERAL "ERA" FEELS: The costumes/music/architecture and all that shit really put me back in those decades I wasn't alive in, and that's what I liked about the comic. Good job, movie.
Ok, just to sum up, I FUCKING LOVED THIS MOVIE.
Yeah, I know--Cool story bro.