(no subject)
Found letters from Peter. Somehow I can't bring myself to throw them away.
Don't get me wrong. I am VERY over him. But it's almost like I have a part of his soul. Just how he felt about life at that very moment. I love those kind of things.
It's so frustrating to feel that there's more to me than this, more than Woolworths and home and Hervey Bay, but be too unmotivated to do it. I know I can. But I'm so pathetically lazy that I just can't be bothered. It's deplorable ;) I need to apply for business next week.
At the moment, I'm eager to get this year over with. At this VERY moment, I feel like I'm ready to settle down, to start doing something real. However, it always turns out in the morning that I'm ready to go out, to dance all night and get off my face, to work two weeks straight just to get the money to go away for a week. I want to stop feeling so middle-of-the-road.
I love being so totally obsessed with one person, but feel a little worried that it happened so fast. And a bit dubious because this has happened before. And look what happened last time. I hate my dependence on my friends, but love them for it. I don't mean that quite the way it probably sounds. I just don't feel as if I fit in with my family. I feel as if my friends are my real family, and they are fantastic. But I feel awful that I don't want to spend as much time with my family as I do with my friends. The truth is, my family stresses me too much.
This was a Peter inspired entry... this isn't what his letter was like, but it's what his letter makes me think about.
Don't get me wrong. I am VERY over him. But it's almost like I have a part of his soul. Just how he felt about life at that very moment. I love those kind of things.
It's so frustrating to feel that there's more to me than this, more than Woolworths and home and Hervey Bay, but be too unmotivated to do it. I know I can. But I'm so pathetically lazy that I just can't be bothered. It's deplorable ;) I need to apply for business next week.
At the moment, I'm eager to get this year over with. At this VERY moment, I feel like I'm ready to settle down, to start doing something real. However, it always turns out in the morning that I'm ready to go out, to dance all night and get off my face, to work two weeks straight just to get the money to go away for a week. I want to stop feeling so middle-of-the-road.
I love being so totally obsessed with one person, but feel a little worried that it happened so fast. And a bit dubious because this has happened before. And look what happened last time. I hate my dependence on my friends, but love them for it. I don't mean that quite the way it probably sounds. I just don't feel as if I fit in with my family. I feel as if my friends are my real family, and they are fantastic. But I feel awful that I don't want to spend as much time with my family as I do with my friends. The truth is, my family stresses me too much.
This was a Peter inspired entry... this isn't what his letter was like, but it's what his letter makes me think about.