Title: I fell in love without you
Author: Faye
Pairing: Hirosuke
Language: English
Genre: Romance, Drama
Rating: PG-13
Pages: 5
Dedication:
kiki_chan94 for the beta <3 thank you dear <3
Music:
Fell in love without you (acoustic version) - Motion City Soundtrack, Embers - Just Jack
Inspiration: Fell in love without you (acoustic version) - Motion City Soundtrack, lonely guy waiting at a train station (I’m so mean lol)
A/N:
- I actually already wrote sth for taipi’s birthday, but since I accidentally deleted all my fics from my notebook (>_<” *headdesk*) I had to write it again… which lead to the point where I wanted to write another story.
You never looked at me like I did. You never saw me like I did. And yet, you were paying attention to me. Laughing about my jokes, listening to the stories I told. I wondered about that for a long time. But I had to deal with the fact that I loved you, but you didn’t love me.
It was just another ordinary day: rehearsals, shootings, training, more shootings, more rehearsals… I was used to it. The only thing I was not used to was Hiro’s behavior. He didn’t talk at all, just sat quietly around. It was very unusual for him.
“Hiro? Are you alright?”
“Hm? Yeah. I… Yeah. I am.” He put out a magazine and didn’t talk anymore.
--------
There were various time were I asked him what the matter was, but he’d always reply the same. Not only to me, also to our bandmates. It was really strange. One day, when I went out for dinner with Nikaido and Senga, we talked about it.
“Maybe he has a girlfriend. And maybe she doesn’t make him happy.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that Nika, I’m sure he would’ve told me.”
“But there are always secrets to hide…”, Senga said.
“Maybe something embarrassing happened?”
I shook my head again. “It must be something serious, otherwise he would’ve talked and made jokes about it. The only one he’s talking to is Wataru.”
“What could it be then?” We looked clueless at each other.
“Let’s go back to that girlfriend-theory. What if… he’s in love? But that person doesn’t love him? Or he couldn’t talk with her about it?”
“That could be.”, I said and Senga nodded. “I’ll invite him over to my house to watch a movie tomorrow. Maybe he’ll talk to me about it.”
--------
Surprisingly, he didn’t cancel. He came, what made me very happy. When I heard the doorbell rang, I went down from my room to open.
“Hey!”, I greeted him. “What’s up? Come in?” It was maybe a bit too enthusiastically, because he looked at me. But then he smiled back at me and entered.
I don’t know if it was the movie, but I couldn’t concentrate on it; something distracted me. My thoughts wandered and I thought about Hiro and his behavior. What ever made him act like that, it couldn’t be something good. I wondered when it started. Not long ago, Hiro would’ve told me almost everything (almost everything because everyone has some secrets, I guess). But now, he wouldn’t even answer some questions. Not to us, but also not to Goseki or other people. What could’ve thrown him from the ground?
“Taisuke. What’s wrong?”
I was ripped out of my thoughts and noticed, that I had looked all the time at him.
“N-nothing.”
“Taisuke.”
“I just wondered… What’s wrong with you lately.”
He remained silent.
“You see, I’m worried. You never acted like that before. You’re not telling anyone! Everyone’s worried about you! And I simply can’t figure out what’s oppressing you!”
“Taisuke…”
“Why don’t you want to tell me? I thought, we were friends!”
“TAISUKE!”, he yelled and gripped my hands.
“WHAT?!”, I yelled back and looked at him, panting heavily from my monologue.
He sighed and let go of my hands. “You see… I really want to tell you, but I just can’t. I can’t.”
“Why?”, I said and looked at him, confused.
“Because you would never look at me again. You would never talk to me again. You would hate me.”, he whispered.
I looked at him, stunned. “What are you talking? You’re my friend, I could never hate you!” It was a weak protest. What on earth could made him think such a thing?
“Yes, you would. I know it. And please stop asking me about it, okay? I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” With that, he turned back to the TV and remained silent.
--------
The atmosphere between us was cold since he stayed at my house. No one of us did mention it, but I knew, he wouldn’t talk about it anymore. And I was offended. He doesn’t want to talk about it, okay, but does that mean he needs to act like I should ask him? Just to be rejected? That made me furious. Our bandmates were very worried, so they were figuring something out to clear the situation.
“Taisuke?” I looked up and saw Senga coming near to me. “I need to talk to you. Can you wait in our dressing room? I’ll come after you, I just have to give something to Hasshi.” I nodded and wondered, what Senga wanted to talk about.
When I entered our dressing room, my heart jumped: Hiro was also there.
“What are you doing here?”, I asked him.
“I could ask you the same.”
The door behind us closed with a loud bang and both of us turned around. I tried to open it, but it was closed.
“Senga! Let me out, goddammit!” I shouted and repeated my try to open the door.
“We won’t. Only if you clear up your fight with Hiro and his strange problem which he doesn’t want to talk about. We’re a band and we have to solve the problems together. And if two of us don’t want to, we have to force them.”, Senga answered.
I hissed. He could be so exhausting and annoying.
-------
We just sat quietly around, until I began to speak. “Hiro…”
“What?”
“Please… Don’t you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“Nope.”
His rejection made me angry.
“Then what do you expect from me? To act around you like nothing happened? To ignore your condition? You are not okay and everyone knows it! And yet you don’t want to tell anyone! That’s crazy!”
“I won’t discuss with you about that.” His voice was cold.
“Oh, so I guess you just need attention? Does Hiro-chan haven not enough friends or what?” I knew it was childish and stupid to provoke him, but I couldn’t stop.
“Stop it.”
“Maybe Wataru listens to your stupid complaining, isn’t it that what you want? Your little Watta-chan is better than me to comfort you. I bet you can’t wait to go to him and cry out your soul, like a baby.”
“Taisuke! Stop it!” Hiro turned around and walked towards. “Keep Wataru out and stop that shit!”
“Oh, do you want to threaten me? Then go on, lonely boy, I’m not scared of you.”
He hissed and came closer, until we were only a few inches apart. “You know nothing, Taisuke. Nothing. So shut your fucking mouth and leave me alone, okay?”
“Really? You want me to leave you alone? I guess, I’m not good enough to pay attention to you. Wataru suits this job way better, hm? I bet, this works also for some other jobs he could give you…” I couldn’t finish my sentence, because Hiro’s fist already flew towards my face and hit it with enormous strength, whereupon I fell down on the floor.
“You know absolutely nothing, Taisuke. You’re blind and a fool. Don’t come near me anymore.” He rubbed his fist and looked coldly at me, then he banged on the door. “Let me out and take care of that fuckin' Taisuke! Maybe he lost one of his baby tooth!” The door was opened and the others rushed inside, while Hiromitsu walked out.
“What happened?”, Nikaido asked me, while Senga and Miyata took care of my bleeding nose.
“We had a fight and I provoked him.”
“What? Why did you do that?”, Wataru asked me with a terrified look on his face.
“Tsk. His attitude pisses me off. I asked him if he needs my attention or yours.”
Wataru furrowed his eyebrows. “Huh? What do you mean?”
“He isn’t talking to me anymore about his problems, but you. He doesn’t call me if he feels bad, he calls you! That pisses me off! Isn’t it obvious that I’m not good enough for him anymore?”
He sighed and ruffled my hair. “You’re such an idiot, Taisuke. A huge, dumb and very stupid idiot. And you’re blind.”
“You’re the second person to tell me that. What’s up with everyone? And what do you know?”
He sighed again and sat down next to me. “Everyone… I’m sorry I lied to you, but I know Hiro’s secret. I bet, he’ll be mad at me when I’m telling you that now, but for the sake of our group…”
“Come on! Tell us!”, Yuta urged him.
“Hiro… didn’t want to tell Taisuke his secret, because it is about him.”
Silence.
“And… what is it?”, Miyata finally asked, while I still remained silent.
“He…” Wataru shook his head and started again. “He loves you. Taisuke.” Then he looked up, at me and bit on his lip. “You’ve completely misunderstood him.” My mouth fell down, while the others remained silent and looked at each other.
--------
I rushed to Hiro’s house. He didn’t pick up his phone and I became more and more desperate.
“You’ve reached the voicemail of…”
“Hiro, if you hear that: I’m on my way to your house, so when you’re home, please open!”
A few minutes later, I reached his house and knocked on the door. A few steps were audible, then the door opened. Hiromitsu's confused eyes looked at me and he started speaking. “Taisuke. What do you want here?”
“We need to talk. Can I come in?”
He sighed, then he stepped aside. “Come in.”
We went to the kitchen, where he opened the fridge and searched for something to drink.
“Where’s the rest of your family?”, I asked him.
“Visiting an aunt. I said, I wanted to stay home, because I didn’t feel well.”
“I see.” I took a deep breath. “Hiro… I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have said such stupid things. Of course I know that there’s nothing going on with you and Wataru. I guess, I was just offended because instead of me you talked to him about your problem.”
He sat down at the table, looking at me. “Yeah. You were stupid. And you did say stupid things.” Suddenly, he smiled. “But I guess, I just can’t be mad at you. Let’s forget about that, okay?”
I nodded, we both laughed and looked at each other.
“Hiro…”
“Hm?”
“I…”
“Yeah?”
“I know your secret.” I managed to speak it out and looked away, scared of his reaction.
Hiro tensed and looked also away. “Really.”
“I’m… I’m so sorry for not noticing! I mean, I’m sure I would have, but I don’t know why I didn’t… I guess I’m just as dumb, blind and idiotic as Wataru said?” My voice became desperate.
“Taisuke…”
“And I’m so sorry if I hurt you! I’m such a dumbass! I…”
“Taisuke! Can you please shut up?” I looked at him, confused and curious about what could come next.
He got up and walked around the table until he stood next to me. “Turn around, Taisuke.”, he whispered. I turned around, he took my face in his hands and closed the remaining distance between us. His lips felt so soft, it made my heart jump. I ripped up my eyes, but closed them, enjoying the soft kiss.
When we parted, he said: “I love you, Taisuke. And nothing could change that, not your foolishness, not your ego, also not your blindness.”
I searched for words, unable to say anything.
“Hiro…”
“I’m going to ask you a question. If the answer is ‘no’, we’ll live as we did before, as friends. No complications. Just good friends. If the answer is ‘yes’, I want you. To be mine.”
I nodded, still unable to say anything.
He took a deep breath. “Taisuke. Do you love me?”
And suddenly, just with that simple question, everything was put together. The way I felt when Hiromitsu showed up, when we parted, when he called me, my jealousy when he didn’t talk to me about his problem, why I was mad at Wataru and said those stupid things to him, our fight…
Tears were filling my eyes, I blinked a few times until I answered his question. “Yes. Yes, I do!”
Hiromitsu smiled again, his eyes sparkled and he kissed me again. I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him closer to me.
tbc.
A/N:
- I’m planning to write a sequel of this. Look forward to it :3
for gossip girl fans:
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blair x chuck forever <3