so this is the new year
i don't feel new. just the same in fact.
still paying bills, and still not making a lot of money. lately i've been thinking about giving up on substituting and the part time work at express because im just not making enough and i still have no benefits, which i am in dire need of. but even thinking about giving up subbing kills me cause its what i love doing the most. i've been on new meds for about a week now and i don't feel too different. i still miss my freinds tons and i still get stressed paying bills and making it by the skin of my teeth. cause i realized one thing's for certain, life happens, and whether you like it or not it's not going anywhere but foward. so these were the cards i've been delt and now i gotta play the hand. i've tried avoiding my problems, forgetting them, drinking till i couldn't remember them, and hiding them from friends and family and ya know, they don't go away.
this is just one of those times you realize you've had this same conversation with your parents, years ago. and you thought they were full of shit, but it turns out they're right. god i hate that, i can't wait till i have kids years from now and tell them all this stuff. and then be right about it later.