foreboding holidays
i must be going slightly more crazy than normal or something but i get the feeling bennett and i are getting more distant than usual. He spends all his time with a friend from work these days which isn't a bad thing, its hard enough just to get him out of the house but i still cant help but feel in competition or something. Not to mention thinking about how our relationship is going backwards is amusing too, we've been going out, lived together, now don't live together anymore and he's looking into the possiblity of moving into a place in burlington with a different friend from his work. Seems like this would be the point where we would be starting to move in with each other or something but i get the impression that if he asked me to go in with him on a place again i would say no out of caution from all the shit that happened last time. awful.
I've also told him that i've been having this foreboding feeling lately that something bad is going to happen since our 3rd year anniversary will be coming up in late march but he waves it off and says im imagining it. I'm sure thats also my paranoia acting up too, but josh and i broke up right around 3 years and well...3 just seems like an awful number and it just so happens to be in ALOT of those sad breakup songs you hear on the radio. But i'm wondering if he doesn't believe me and that i want to prove im right that something bad is going to happen and that i'll ensure that it will or that i've been right all along and everything's just running its course to this bad outlook anyway??
Augh its too late to be thinking this muc--FUCK i just bit my nail too far and now i'm bleeding alittle...awesome ugh. Either way i dont have much to be happy about lately...thats all i have to say.
I've also told him that i've been having this foreboding feeling lately that something bad is going to happen since our 3rd year anniversary will be coming up in late march but he waves it off and says im imagining it. I'm sure thats also my paranoia acting up too, but josh and i broke up right around 3 years and well...3 just seems like an awful number and it just so happens to be in ALOT of those sad breakup songs you hear on the radio. But i'm wondering if he doesn't believe me and that i want to prove im right that something bad is going to happen and that i'll ensure that it will or that i've been right all along and everything's just running its course to this bad outlook anyway??
Augh its too late to be thinking this muc--FUCK i just bit my nail too far and now i'm bleeding alittle...awesome ugh. Either way i dont have much to be happy about lately...thats all i have to say.