Nov 30, 2007 17:56
To you.
Because I could never say this to your face, because I cannot say this to your face.
Okay, here it goes.
I like you. We all fucking know that. And I want to be with you. I do. I want to call you mine. I want to call you and message you when I'm sad because that's what couples do. I want you to be my girlfriend, I want you to be my partner.
I am just angry, because I was under a different understanding of what we were. Are.
I guess it's because I was the sober one in the car. I thought we were making shit work. I thought we were going to make it work.
When you told me he meant nothing to you, that you wanted to be with me, that you were crazy about me... I sort of assumed that's actually what you meant.
I thought when you said you wouldn't touch him anymore, that you wouldn't. That we were going to give us a fighting chance.
Now, I find out not from you, but from my friend, that you're torn.
Between all of us.
I never thought I was even in a race, but here I am... running along the track... wishing to cross first.
But I can't, I can't do this.
I want to be with you. And any person would tell me to fight for what I want. But I can't.
I can't stand the fact that I have to fight for your love, fight for you to care about me enough to be mine, fight in order to get you to see me.
I have had people treat me like nothing before, and I cannot do this again.
You're young. I get it. But then don't sit in my car and hold me and say you're crazy about me and want to be with me and then go fuck some next guy and treat me like I'm expendable the next day.
THAT is not right. It's not fair.
I am not blaming you. I am telling you. Be with me. Care about me. Hug me. KISS me... text message ME!
Not him. Not them. Me. See me. Show me something. Because I'm getting really tired of this whole one way street bullshit.
And I'm running out of patience.
If you don't want me. Then just say it.
It sucks. But hey, I'll get over it.
I always do.