(no subject)
so i posted about my thanksgiving mishap earlier today and realized something thanks to
all of the stuff that i thought was bad really wasnt when i looked back on it. the crap between brian and pam and him letting her treat me poorly wasnt any reflection on me or even how brian feels about me, its a reflection on pam and that she is selfish and petty and has no life worth living. in terms of brian is shows that he is weak and easily manipulated and that he needs help with it. whether or not i will be the one to help him is yet to be decided.
the way brian's mother acts isnt a reflection on me its that she is so controlling and insecure she has to have a hand in everyone elses life, she needs to be stood up too and its not my place to do so unless she starts meddling into my life.
thanksgiving isnt really a special day, its the people that you are with that make it special so what does it matter if i dont see someone that day. in hinde sight im glad that brian and i were apart and i didnt talk to him, it gave me time to think about things and prove to myself that i dont need him like i thought i did.
i want to be in love with someone who will defend me, he has not done that... case in point pam.
i want to love someone who thinks of my feelings first, he doesnt do that... his band, is friends, his wants all come first.
i want to love someone who wants a future, he hasnt done that either... brian always says that he doesnt want to make plans for anything because we doesnt want to break them later on.
im over it and im happy. i realized that being alone, i had a better time than i would have if i were with brian. that really woke me up to the things going on in the relationship.
all of the stuff that i thought was bad really wasnt when i looked back on it. the crap between brian and pam and him letting her treat me poorly wasnt any reflection on me or even how brian feels about me, its a reflection on pam and that she is selfish and petty and has no life worth living. in terms of brian is shows that he is weak and easily manipulated and that he needs help with it. whether or not i will be the one to help him is yet to be decided.
the way brian's mother acts isnt a reflection on me its that she is so controlling and insecure she has to have a hand in everyone elses life, she needs to be stood up too and its not my place to do so unless she starts meddling into my life.
thanksgiving isnt really a special day, its the people that you are with that make it special so what does it matter if i dont see someone that day. in hinde sight im glad that brian and i were apart and i didnt talk to him, it gave me time to think about things and prove to myself that i dont need him like i thought i did.
i want to be in love with someone who will defend me, he has not done that... case in point pam.
i want to love someone who thinks of my feelings first, he doesnt do that... his band, is friends, his wants all come first.
i want to love someone who wants a future, he hasnt done that either... brian always says that he doesnt want to make plans for anything because we doesnt want to break them later on.
im over it and im happy. i realized that being alone, i had a better time than i would have if i were with brian. that really woke me up to the things going on in the relationship.