too much. enough is enough
things are so insane, life is too much hassle.
i had an open house interview at bank of america last night, from 4pm to 6pm. i was so drained and then had to drive home an hour in bumper to bumper. and in all honesty the job would make me want to kill myself. they start you at almost 30k which is the answer to all my financial problem but i think i would be miserable working in a call center. i know how i am and i get bored so easily and sitting all day would make me lazy and fat and unhappy. i think im going to call them on the way home today and just tell them i want to wait for another position, i cant put myself through pain for money. it isnt worth it in my book.
on top of that i had to take off work yesterday before the interview because my eye is scratched and hurt all last night and all yesterday, brian poked me in the eye and tore the membrane so its dry and itchy and i cant really see out of it too well. good times right.
brian has a show tonight in orlando, i wanted to go but now he wants to ride in the van and not drive seperatley like we had planned and i have issues with riding in the van. they all do coke and i dont want to be caught in the van with them if we got pulled over or something. so i probably wont go at all now or i will ride by myself if i do end up going. brian gets mad that i wont just go with them but im not compromising on this, i feel like its only a matter of time and i dont want to be around when the ball gets dropped.
not to mention the fact that one of the guys they were buying from got arrested for shooting through the apartment wall, into his neighbors unit, just three days ago. and he lives in the same apartment complex a few buildings away on the same street. when it all went down instead of saying that they (the bandmates) were going to stop they said we just have to be more carefull now and to top that off one of them is dealing drugs now. he was bragging to me that he made 700 dollars in two days selling to his old dealers users.
this whole situation makes me so uneasy, im starting to feel like brian doesnt get it and that everytime something comes up i want to detatch myself more and more from him because he is so oblivious and doesnt seem to care that its going on and that he could get in trouble along with them and that if im there i will get in trouble too.
part of the reason i wanted to get a better paying job so so that i could save money to take a trip to europe or south america with brian and now i dont even really want to go with him. i feel like im losing interest in him all the time and i know the biggest reason for it is this drug issue and the friends he has. i dont know what to do, i love him but i dont see a future like i once did, everything is clouded by the band and their drug abuse.
i had an open house interview at bank of america last night, from 4pm to 6pm. i was so drained and then had to drive home an hour in bumper to bumper. and in all honesty the job would make me want to kill myself. they start you at almost 30k which is the answer to all my financial problem but i think i would be miserable working in a call center. i know how i am and i get bored so easily and sitting all day would make me lazy and fat and unhappy. i think im going to call them on the way home today and just tell them i want to wait for another position, i cant put myself through pain for money. it isnt worth it in my book.
on top of that i had to take off work yesterday before the interview because my eye is scratched and hurt all last night and all yesterday, brian poked me in the eye and tore the membrane so its dry and itchy and i cant really see out of it too well. good times right.
brian has a show tonight in orlando, i wanted to go but now he wants to ride in the van and not drive seperatley like we had planned and i have issues with riding in the van. they all do coke and i dont want to be caught in the van with them if we got pulled over or something. so i probably wont go at all now or i will ride by myself if i do end up going. brian gets mad that i wont just go with them but im not compromising on this, i feel like its only a matter of time and i dont want to be around when the ball gets dropped.
not to mention the fact that one of the guys they were buying from got arrested for shooting through the apartment wall, into his neighbors unit, just three days ago. and he lives in the same apartment complex a few buildings away on the same street. when it all went down instead of saying that they (the bandmates) were going to stop they said we just have to be more carefull now and to top that off one of them is dealing drugs now. he was bragging to me that he made 700 dollars in two days selling to his old dealers users.
this whole situation makes me so uneasy, im starting to feel like brian doesnt get it and that everytime something comes up i want to detatch myself more and more from him because he is so oblivious and doesnt seem to care that its going on and that he could get in trouble along with them and that if im there i will get in trouble too.
part of the reason i wanted to get a better paying job so so that i could save money to take a trip to europe or south america with brian and now i dont even really want to go with him. i feel like im losing interest in him all the time and i know the biggest reason for it is this drug issue and the friends he has. i dont know what to do, i love him but i dont see a future like i once did, everything is clouded by the band and their drug abuse.