Who makes these websites?
You know the websites I'm talking about. You can tell the second you've clicked on one. They all have the same markers: contrasting font, some bad fake cut-out coupon, tons of really short and direct sentences and paragraph breaks, blockquoted "testimonials" -- and screens and screens and screens of text.
You could go on and on about the various characteristics of this type of website (is there a name for it? There oughtta be...). How is it no matter what crappy product it is they're selling, they all look the same?
I think my favourite feature of these sites is the Neverending Postscript.
Which marketing guru was it who realized that the number of postscripts is directly correlated to number of clickthroughs?
I find this amusing because these are the infomercials of our time. In the '80s and '90s, if you watched any television at all, you'll still hear in your head the voice of the guy saying, "but wait... that's not all!" Or the ridiculous price cut claims: "Similar products of inferior quality sell for upwards of $300, but if you order in the next five minutes the Crap-O-Matic is available for just three easy payments of $15.99!"
Anyway, I'm just curious, because it's not like you can google "who makes the websites for ridiculous marketing scam products".
So, UNLESS you are one of those weak-willed individual who has been ineffectively commenting on blogs...
... or you are one of those WHO JUST FEELS you cannot comment on blogs.
... if you are one of those who always wanted to comment on my blog BUT DIDN'T KNOW HOW to go about doing it.
Please, contact me.
It'll be the best decision you ever made.
Terrence Chan
P.S. If you tell me, you'll be GUARANTEED my eternal thanks.
P.P.S. Oops, almost forgot! Comment on my blog in the next three days, and you'll be eligible for my new, yet-to-be-released DVD, How To Get More Comments On Your Blog -- Today!
P.P.P.S. One more thing! The next 2000 commentors will also receive an autographed edition of How To Lampoon Template Marketing Websites. Only 2000 of these books were ever made, so be sure to get your hands on this book, a $699.95 value! Once I'm out, I'm out!
P.P.P.P.S. I like blueberries. I'm eating them right now.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I also like postscripts. Obv.
You could go on and on about the various characteristics of this type of website (is there a name for it? There oughtta be...). How is it no matter what crappy product it is they're selling, they all look the same?
I think my favourite feature of these sites is the Neverending Postscript.
Which marketing guru was it who realized that the number of postscripts is directly correlated to number of clickthroughs?
I find this amusing because these are the infomercials of our time. In the '80s and '90s, if you watched any television at all, you'll still hear in your head the voice of the guy saying, "but wait... that's not all!" Or the ridiculous price cut claims: "Similar products of inferior quality sell for upwards of $300, but if you order in the next five minutes the Crap-O-Matic is available for just three easy payments of $15.99!"
Anyway, I'm just curious, because it's not like you can google "who makes the websites for ridiculous marketing scam products".
So, UNLESS you are one of those weak-willed individual who has been ineffectively commenting on blogs...
... or you are one of those WHO JUST FEELS you cannot comment on blogs.
... if you are one of those who always wanted to comment on my blog BUT DIDN'T KNOW HOW to go about doing it.
Please, contact me.
It'll be the best decision you ever made.
Terrence Chan
P.S. If you tell me, you'll be GUARANTEED my eternal thanks.
P.P.S. Oops, almost forgot! Comment on my blog in the next three days, and you'll be eligible for my new, yet-to-be-released DVD, How To Get More Comments On Your Blog -- Today!
P.P.P.S. One more thing! The next 2000 commentors will also receive an autographed edition of How To Lampoon Template Marketing Websites. Only 2000 of these books were ever made, so be sure to get your hands on this book, a $699.95 value! Once I'm out, I'm out!
P.P.P.P.S. I like blueberries. I'm eating them right now.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I also like postscripts. Obv.