Sad.
Blame my female hormones if you must... but my fluctuating mood is driving everyone crazy. I have been in a bit of a slump for the past few days, but I can't help but feel that I am just being silly and making a big deal out of nothing.
School is not fun. School will always make people miserable. It's just a law of life. It doesn't matter how much I enjoy working on a project, it's still going to find some way to stress me out. Maybe another sign that I might be in the wrong field of study is my inability to work well in groups. My partner for this particular project, while he is my friend, is driving me crazy. While I feel like I'm trying hard to do well in everything... it never ever seems good enough.
I'm lazy.
I lack motivation in many aspects.
I am also very unreliable.
BUT that does not mean I am not trying! I'm sorry if I oversleep sometimes... but didn't I say I would call when I was ready to go downtown and work? I think I looked like a complete ass when my friend was waiting for me for three hours. (But I said I would call... he didn't have to go at the time I estimated...)
The project is due Tuesday and thanks to me being stupid, we did not meet up today to work. (Is it terrible that part of me is relieved..?)
I don't want my sad mood to keep bringing everyone down. I know a lot of people care for me, so I don't want to ruin that. Last time people tried to help me, they finally got sick of it and kicked me out of their house... I don't think that will happen here, but I guess scars teach us things, even if they aren't true or don't make sense.
I'm back on the Starbucks work schedule again starting tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have to be there at 5:30 in the morning. After that, I am dedicating my day to finishing the project with my friend. I even.. God why... invited him to spend the night here tomorrow if we don't finish everything up. Once again... this project is due Tuesday. (I better make sure to lock my door so he doesn't come in and stare at me while I'm sleeping. Oops.. I hope that wasn't too mean.. ;_; )
It's mid-terms week. I guess I'm allowed to feel like this. But let's face it.. nobody likes to be sad.
School is not fun. School will always make people miserable. It's just a law of life. It doesn't matter how much I enjoy working on a project, it's still going to find some way to stress me out. Maybe another sign that I might be in the wrong field of study is my inability to work well in groups. My partner for this particular project, while he is my friend, is driving me crazy. While I feel like I'm trying hard to do well in everything... it never ever seems good enough.
I'm lazy.
I lack motivation in many aspects.
I am also very unreliable.
BUT that does not mean I am not trying! I'm sorry if I oversleep sometimes... but didn't I say I would call when I was ready to go downtown and work? I think I looked like a complete ass when my friend was waiting for me for three hours. (But I said I would call... he didn't have to go at the time I estimated...)
The project is due Tuesday and thanks to me being stupid, we did not meet up today to work. (Is it terrible that part of me is relieved..?)
I don't want my sad mood to keep bringing everyone down. I know a lot of people care for me, so I don't want to ruin that. Last time people tried to help me, they finally got sick of it and kicked me out of their house... I don't think that will happen here, but I guess scars teach us things, even if they aren't true or don't make sense.
I'm back on the Starbucks work schedule again starting tomorrow. Unfortunately, I have to be there at 5:30 in the morning. After that, I am dedicating my day to finishing the project with my friend. I even.. God why... invited him to spend the night here tomorrow if we don't finish everything up. Once again... this project is due Tuesday. (I better make sure to lock my door so he doesn't come in and stare at me while I'm sleeping. Oops.. I hope that wasn't too mean.. ;_; )
It's mid-terms week. I guess I'm allowed to feel like this. But let's face it.. nobody likes to be sad.