On Reviewing. (Because I can stand it no longer.)
So you like RPG products, and you figure RPG designers like to have their products reviewed, and if you start doing enough reviews, you figure you can start getting some free products to review and so you'll never have a drought of free material to use and read.
And that's cool. I'm all for it. But I have a little caveat.
Stop writing reviews that suck.
Seriously.
Stop now.
Likely, you will not, because you do not realize your review sucks. Let us discuss some ways your review will suck.
1. You will give me the pagecount breakdown.
I shit you not, and I know that once upon a time, I was guilty of this crime myself. But let's face it-- I can usually see the table of contents from the preview or the product summary. Do you really think I need to know the exact number of pages allocated to feats or monsters or the OG-freaking-L? the TL;DR version? No, no I do not.
Would you like to know why? Because I don't want a book report. I don't need to know exactly how the author divided the book or focused on particular topics or chose to break down the subject matter. These things are unimportant, unless you are writing your review for Mrs. Cleveland's 2nd grade English Composition assignment.
1.A- What to do instead:
Tell me what you liked about the book, how it inspired you, what you drew from the content. Sure, if you wanted more of X and less of Y, that's an acceptable thing to mention. If something seemed particularly off, or unintentional, or even inappropriate, that bears commenting. Telling me how the material got you thinking about your next game or an old game or a game you've been planning but haven't yet run is much better than showing me your reading comprehension is roughly higher than that of a dretch. This is the most important point of this post. I will repeat it, to be pedantic and annoying and hopefully make it stick. Tell me what works in the book, why it works, and what it makes you think about doing with the book--yes, that sounds dirty, and it's absolutely intentional.
2. You will use words like "meh."
"Meh" is not a useful word for a review. You may think it is a convenient shorthand for "ambivalent," or another way to say "unimpressive."
It is not.
"Meh" is the quickest way to look like a reviewing jackass. "Meh" shows no forethought or consideration and leaves me wondering what about the (artwork/writing/design/editing/layout) was "meh." If I want "meh," I'll swing by the FLGS and ask the bored register-monkey who only plays CCGs what he thought about the treeware version. I'll poll a bored table of gamers about the midnight madness adventure they stomped in an hour-fifteen. "Meh" tells me absolutely nothing and irritates me while you are at it.
2.A- What to do instead:
Tell me what was uninspiring and why. For the love of the tiny baby savior of your choice, we play games of make-believe and imagination. Use your big-kid words and tell me in whole, complete thoughts why something in the book failed to impress you. Anything less, and I will expect you next to grunt and point while slapping the ground with a stick. If you're half-assing your review, why should I expect you did anything other than half-ass skim the text, and if that's the case, then wtf are you doing wasting my valuable time with a review which should have died in a text window you forgot to refresh before posting? Have some goddamned pride and actually explain your point of view complete with why you felt something was good or bad or in between.
3. You decide to talk about all the things you would have put in the product.
It is very kind of you to tell the author and publisher how you clearly see the features they should have contributed, if only they had your wisdom. Keep your charity to yourself and stick to the material provided. I'm sure you're a fantastically talented GM, but I don't want to know about some other product you imagine. I want to know about this product.
That said...
If there are missed opportunities, I want to know about it-- Should the author have logically covered something and didn't? Note the absence and talk about how this particular gap in content could have improved the existing material-- because then I have an idea of what I might need to do if I want to put this product to my own nefarious uses. But don't just say, "Oh, it needed X and would have been so much better for it," without explaining why. (See that again? We want to know "why." The author wants to know why. The prospective buyer wants to know why. Your justifications matter.) If the missing material is something you'd simply like on a personal preference, then note that, as well. Reviews are usually a matter of YMMV (your mileage may vary) and what you see as absolutely essential I may find to be a complete waste of wordcount and page real estate.
Finally. Have some pride and put your review through a spell check. Tuck in your shirt, comb your hair, let someone read over what you're posting if it's more than two paragraphs. Or at least plug it into a word processor to confirm you've made an attempt at complete sentences. As much fun as it is to trudge through three quarters of a page of your semi-literate ramblings, half-formed texting abbreviations, and emoticons, I prefer it so much more when it's free of blatant misspellings and gross abuses of grammar.
Now, having said this, I realize writing reviews is like any other form of writing-- you will improve over time, given you actually have a desire to do so. And I know my early attempts at reviews were often atrocious examples of how to bore the hell out of your elementary school teacher. I leave them unedited because either I cannot change them, or (as I prefer to think of it) they serve as monumental reminders of what I once belched forth on the Internet and called "a review." Once someone pointed out how I could improve my review style and do better, I endeavored to do so, and I think that change is evident.
So consider this our come-to-Jesus post, held over virtual beers and fried calamari, wherein I have laid the terrible truth bare to you. Your reviews suck. They still suck, and they will continue to suck until you give a rat's ass and start doing more than vomiting up a poor excuse for insight. Please stop sucking.
thanks bunches,
hugs and kisses.
-Ben.
And that's cool. I'm all for it. But I have a little caveat.
Stop writing reviews that suck.
Seriously.
Stop now.
Likely, you will not, because you do not realize your review sucks. Let us discuss some ways your review will suck.
1. You will give me the pagecount breakdown.
I shit you not, and I know that once upon a time, I was guilty of this crime myself. But let's face it-- I can usually see the table of contents from the preview or the product summary. Do you really think I need to know the exact number of pages allocated to feats or monsters or the OG-freaking-L? the TL;DR version? No, no I do not.
Would you like to know why? Because I don't want a book report. I don't need to know exactly how the author divided the book or focused on particular topics or chose to break down the subject matter. These things are unimportant, unless you are writing your review for Mrs. Cleveland's 2nd grade English Composition assignment.
1.A- What to do instead:
Tell me what you liked about the book, how it inspired you, what you drew from the content. Sure, if you wanted more of X and less of Y, that's an acceptable thing to mention. If something seemed particularly off, or unintentional, or even inappropriate, that bears commenting. Telling me how the material got you thinking about your next game or an old game or a game you've been planning but haven't yet run is much better than showing me your reading comprehension is roughly higher than that of a dretch. This is the most important point of this post. I will repeat it, to be pedantic and annoying and hopefully make it stick. Tell me what works in the book, why it works, and what it makes you think about doing with the book--yes, that sounds dirty, and it's absolutely intentional.
2. You will use words like "meh."
"Meh" is not a useful word for a review. You may think it is a convenient shorthand for "ambivalent," or another way to say "unimpressive."
It is not.
"Meh" is the quickest way to look like a reviewing jackass. "Meh" shows no forethought or consideration and leaves me wondering what about the (artwork/writing/design/editing/layout) was "meh." If I want "meh," I'll swing by the FLGS and ask the bored register-monkey who only plays CCGs what he thought about the treeware version. I'll poll a bored table of gamers about the midnight madness adventure they stomped in an hour-fifteen. "Meh" tells me absolutely nothing and irritates me while you are at it.
2.A- What to do instead:
Tell me what was uninspiring and why. For the love of the tiny baby savior of your choice, we play games of make-believe and imagination. Use your big-kid words and tell me in whole, complete thoughts why something in the book failed to impress you. Anything less, and I will expect you next to grunt and point while slapping the ground with a stick. If you're half-assing your review, why should I expect you did anything other than half-ass skim the text, and if that's the case, then wtf are you doing wasting my valuable time with a review which should have died in a text window you forgot to refresh before posting? Have some goddamned pride and actually explain your point of view complete with why you felt something was good or bad or in between.
3. You decide to talk about all the things you would have put in the product.
It is very kind of you to tell the author and publisher how you clearly see the features they should have contributed, if only they had your wisdom. Keep your charity to yourself and stick to the material provided. I'm sure you're a fantastically talented GM, but I don't want to know about some other product you imagine. I want to know about this product.
That said...
If there are missed opportunities, I want to know about it-- Should the author have logically covered something and didn't? Note the absence and talk about how this particular gap in content could have improved the existing material-- because then I have an idea of what I might need to do if I want to put this product to my own nefarious uses. But don't just say, "Oh, it needed X and would have been so much better for it," without explaining why. (See that again? We want to know "why." The author wants to know why. The prospective buyer wants to know why. Your justifications matter.) If the missing material is something you'd simply like on a personal preference, then note that, as well. Reviews are usually a matter of YMMV (your mileage may vary) and what you see as absolutely essential I may find to be a complete waste of wordcount and page real estate.
Finally. Have some pride and put your review through a spell check. Tuck in your shirt, comb your hair, let someone read over what you're posting if it's more than two paragraphs. Or at least plug it into a word processor to confirm you've made an attempt at complete sentences. As much fun as it is to trudge through three quarters of a page of your semi-literate ramblings, half-formed texting abbreviations, and emoticons, I prefer it so much more when it's free of blatant misspellings and gross abuses of grammar.
Now, having said this, I realize writing reviews is like any other form of writing-- you will improve over time, given you actually have a desire to do so. And I know my early attempts at reviews were often atrocious examples of how to bore the hell out of your elementary school teacher. I leave them unedited because either I cannot change them, or (as I prefer to think of it) they serve as monumental reminders of what I once belched forth on the Internet and called "a review." Once someone pointed out how I could improve my review style and do better, I endeavored to do so, and I think that change is evident.
So consider this our come-to-Jesus post, held over virtual beers and fried calamari, wherein I have laid the terrible truth bare to you. Your reviews suck. They still suck, and they will continue to suck until you give a rat's ass and start doing more than vomiting up a poor excuse for insight. Please stop sucking.
thanks bunches,
hugs and kisses.
-Ben.