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my grandfather is dying of multiple myloma and will probably have his leg amputated at the knee soon. so, my trip to visit E. in L.A. and K. in santa barbara will also involve a trip to tuscon. i'm not sure his illness has hit me yet - i have the thought that i should be more upset because he is my grandfather, but he's not actually someone i like as a person. when he dies will i fool myself and only remember his good qualities? will i immortalise him like the rest of my ass-kissing family? my family's so fucking insane...you pick up or look behind anything (the sound system, paintings, furniture, beds) and someone has stuck a piece of tape with their name on it. granted, this is something my grandparents encouraged (they thought it would reduce the bickering over possessions after they were dead...instead it increased the bickering over possessions while they're still alive) meh.