(no subject)
I've realized that my LJ posts have been rather sad and depressing lately. And a bit of a pitty party too. SO - here's the end of that!
I am officially into a new chapter in my life. The "have-someone-who-makes-my-heart-smile-and-am-on-the-serious-hunt-for-a-new-house" chapter. It's going to be a long road and it may not be a fun ride, but it is my own ride and for that, I am excited (and scared to death). I'm on a mission tonight to get things packed up. Laundry will be done before I go to bed, the counters in the kitchen will be spotless and I will have tubs-galore packed and ready to be moved. BRING IT ON, HOUSE!!
I'm tired of feeling like a holding ground. He took what he wanted and left what he didn't and that's the attitude I've been suffering from - unwanted and cast aside. I deserve to be wanted and cherished and I'm going to make that happen. I'm packing up the things I want to take with me, packing up the things he doesn't want so I can move them to the barn, and I'm going to enjoy "my" house. It's been our house, it's been a holding ground, and it's been a painful reminder - until I get my own house, this house is going to have to be "mine" and hopefully I can create an atmosphere to where I don't dread coming. It's not home anymore - it's a house that holds my belongings. I want a home again.
I've been doing my best to become the Terra that I've never been. The one that makes her own decisions, does things SHE wants to do, and who casts aside the feeling that if she doesn't (or does) do x, y, or z that I'm letting someone down. Time for me to enjoy being me.
I am officially into a new chapter in my life. The "have-someone-who-makes-my-heart-smile-and-am-on-the-serious-hunt-for-a-new-house" chapter. It's going to be a long road and it may not be a fun ride, but it is my own ride and for that, I am excited (and scared to death). I'm on a mission tonight to get things packed up. Laundry will be done before I go to bed, the counters in the kitchen will be spotless and I will have tubs-galore packed and ready to be moved. BRING IT ON, HOUSE!!
I'm tired of feeling like a holding ground. He took what he wanted and left what he didn't and that's the attitude I've been suffering from - unwanted and cast aside. I deserve to be wanted and cherished and I'm going to make that happen. I'm packing up the things I want to take with me, packing up the things he doesn't want so I can move them to the barn, and I'm going to enjoy "my" house. It's been our house, it's been a holding ground, and it's been a painful reminder - until I get my own house, this house is going to have to be "mine" and hopefully I can create an atmosphere to where I don't dread coming. It's not home anymore - it's a house that holds my belongings. I want a home again.
I've been doing my best to become the Terra that I've never been. The one that makes her own decisions, does things SHE wants to do, and who casts aside the feeling that if she doesn't (or does) do x, y, or z that I'm letting someone down. Time for me to enjoy being me.