~ election amusement ~
Some funny tidbits I found tonight on reddit:
Dear Rest of The World
We didn't fuck it up
Signed,
America
Dear America,
Congrats!
Regards, Rest of the World
Dear America,
Will Palin's new Fox News talk show be viewable in Canada?
Dear Canada
It will clearly be viewable from Russia.
Dear America,
We didn't fuck it up
Signed,
Ohio
Dear Ohio,
We tried to fuck it up.
Signed, Lousiana
Dear Canada,
Sorry, but we won't be moving in any more. Don't wait up.
Love, The Liberals
Dear America,
Thankyou. It's like watching a close friend check out of rehab.
From, Australia
Dear Rest of America
We did our part this time
Signed,
Florida, Ohio, and Virginia
The three of you share an account?
No, but our state budgets are so fucked that we share stationery.
Dear America.
You're still on probation.
Try not to fuck this one up.
Love and kisses, the rest of the world.
I was in the hospital for kidney stones, right when I saw that he won. I cried, not from the pain of a small very small object ripping its way through my penis, but because the USA has entered a new era. This means change, this means the constitution will be put back into power.
Now how the fuck do we get bush out of office? that stupid fuck is stuck in office for 2 1/2 months now.
Any suggestions?
Dear Bush,
Please step down and let Obama take over.
Signed, Pretty much everyone
You know who is really happy about this? That guy who knocked up Palin's daughter. Now he doesn't have to marry her. If I was him I would be in Canada by the time McCain took the stage.
And finally, because it actually made me cry:
I'm a 30yr old black man.
I never thought I'd see something like this in my lifetime. I didn't think my grandchildren would either.
I've always been proud of what my country could be, but not often proud of what it was.
Today, for the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of what it will be.
I didn't vote for him because he was black, I voted because he was the best person for the country.
Today, I don't feel black. I feel American.
Dear Rest of The World
We didn't fuck it up
Signed,
America
Dear America,
Congrats!
Regards, Rest of the World
Dear America,
Will Palin's new Fox News talk show be viewable in Canada?
Dear Canada
It will clearly be viewable from Russia.
Dear America,
We didn't fuck it up
Signed,
Ohio
Dear Ohio,
We tried to fuck it up.
Signed, Lousiana
Dear Canada,
Sorry, but we won't be moving in any more. Don't wait up.
Love, The Liberals
Dear America,
Thankyou. It's like watching a close friend check out of rehab.
From, Australia
Dear Rest of America
We did our part this time
Signed,
Florida, Ohio, and Virginia
The three of you share an account?
No, but our state budgets are so fucked that we share stationery.
Dear America.
You're still on probation.
Try not to fuck this one up.
Love and kisses, the rest of the world.
I was in the hospital for kidney stones, right when I saw that he won. I cried, not from the pain of a small very small object ripping its way through my penis, but because the USA has entered a new era. This means change, this means the constitution will be put back into power.
Now how the fuck do we get bush out of office? that stupid fuck is stuck in office for 2 1/2 months now.
Any suggestions?
Dear Bush,
Please step down and let Obama take over.
Signed, Pretty much everyone
You know who is really happy about this? That guy who knocked up Palin's daughter. Now he doesn't have to marry her. If I was him I would be in Canada by the time McCain took the stage.
And finally, because it actually made me cry:
I'm a 30yr old black man.
I never thought I'd see something like this in my lifetime. I didn't think my grandchildren would either.
I've always been proud of what my country could be, but not often proud of what it was.
Today, for the first time in my adult life, I'm proud of what it will be.
I didn't vote for him because he was black, I voted because he was the best person for the country.
Today, I don't feel black. I feel American.