Tenebrism VI

[teromain]

Title: Tenebrism
Status: in rewrites
Chapter word count: 19,333
Warnings: language
Additional notes: Even longer chapter than the last one, which will also be split in a more finalized version of the story. But you get both halves because not a lot happens in the first part. The link below is a fake cut to my dreamwidth again. Fictionpress version

Comments

[potatoe1988]

I'm just gonna comment here because it's easier than doing the Dreamwidth login thing, okay? Okay

[teromain]

I'm only linking to DW because splitting the chapters here on LJ is SO annoying and takes twice as long and I wasn't even sure if a 19k+ chapter would fit in just two posts!

I really have a weakness for any kinds of fish-out-of-water type characters, both reading and writing, so having Keyd be a confused derp occasionally is really fun for me~ :)

And yeah, I do think that the chapter-by-chapter updates are probably really hurting a new readership that isn't familiar with the arc of the story, because Alan does appear kind of useless, but it'd only been five chapters! Also, I think that having male characters who aren't super confident/bad-ass from the get go isn't something people expect, because it's not a usual trait for them, so it maybe upsets/annoys people on some kind of unconscious level. Which strikes me as kind of frustrating/unfair - in the same way we have these expected portrayals of female characters that don't actually reflect real women very well - because it starts feeling like all men/male character HAVE to be

[potatoe1988]

Hmm... that makes me wonder if perhaps having Rysa, as a woman, be so competent compared to Alan might on some subconscious level be making people more uncomfortable with Alan not being insta capable hero. Hard to say though really and I don't want to go down the social justice finger pointy path. Something's going on there, though, and I think the issue is the lense some people are viewing the story through rather than the story itself. I mean, these are people who feel the need to leave comments about this stuff. They're not just getting bored and closing the tab. You have offended them by making a male protagonist who doesn't behave in the way they expect male protagonists to act.

[teromain]

Yeah, quite possibly. That was something of a thing I was trying to do...the fact that Rysa is more capable and prepared and that Alan realizes it, and so looks to her in a situation like this - irrelevant of gender or whether or not it's 'emasculating' or 'weak' to have a man depending on a woman, it's just the most capable person. And of course Rysa comes from a place where women being the most competent in these situations isn't unusual/uncommon, so she's obviously not going to think it's weird that Alan is mostly deferring to her - really, she'd expect it. I didn't want to call attention to it as BEING unusual though, since I'd like to hope that if that type of situation stops being presented as "omg how weird/special' then we'll stop thinking of it like that.

[potatoe1988]

Yeah, you're good at putting those kinds of things in without feeling the need to go "look, the thing. This is what it means." And I guess that causes confusion for some people, when things aren't spelled out. I've seen other popular writers going into the territory of telling instead of showing way too much just because whenever they failed to hammer things in they'd end up getting confused emails from readers. If everyone reading gets it, you're probably either writing a very simple story or you're over explaining for the slow crowd

[teromain]

I mean, I don't think my story is super deep or groundbreaking or anything but I am trying to at least do some things - things I'd like to see more in stories, things that I wish were more common and accepted. And I don't expect anyone to be doing a really in-depth analysis of anything I write, but I like to know that if they ever did, there'd be something there

[potatoe1988]

I think some m/m readers can be a bit hostile to female characters, so yeah, some might not be happy with a female character who's more competent than both of the men. Fuck 'em, though, those are hardly feelings you want to cater to.

Keyd <3 Thinking about Keyd just makes me smile. He's one of the cutest characters ever while still not really falling into the category of a 'cute' character. He just issss. I'm looking forward to seeing his confusion through his own POV when that story eventually becomes a thing, though it does have a special charm through Alan's eyes. Alan knows. Alan knows Keyd is adorable as fuck. What are some more synonyms for cute? I've used that and adorable too many times already.

[teromain]

That's true for sure. I really want to write a story for her, but I have no idea how well it would be received, and with all the millions of other things I have planned to write I've no idea when I'd have the time :/

I'm so glad you like him~ :) And that 'cute but not cute' thing is definitely what I go for with him. I'm REALLY excited to get around to his POV; when the Tenebrism rewrites are done his story is going to drop into that slot for getting a lot more attention. I've done some, but it needs a ton of work and wordcount before anything can be shared.

Endearing?

[potatoe1988]

Endearing! Endearing works. He is the most endearing warrior prince there is. I just really like him as a character. He's really complex! Well, everything you write is complex, but I'm just very fond of Keyd. In the later books I like how he's so loving to the point of it being almost cheesy at times but somehow, because it's him, it's not lame at all. Just sweet.

[teromain]

He does get SO cheesy sometimes, and any other character but him I could pretty much not even handle writing some of the things he says because it'd just be like ugugugugh STOP this sounds so insincere, but he's always just being serious/honest and really means all that sappy stuff~ :D

[potatoe1988]

Yesss, exactly. There aren't many characters who could pull that off and just have it work and not be embarrassing. How much of that is a cultural thing (like how they're expected to behave in romantic situations) and how much is it just Keyd as an individual being an adorable doof?

[teromain]

I'd say about half and half. Their language is pretty expressive for them, so no matter how they try and talk about romantic situations/feelings it's going to be more demonstrative because all the words are more specific in meaning and connotations -- because it's more acceptable to speak emotionally rather than actually act emotional. And then Keyd is just so unfamiliar with what to do with a partner (especially someone from another culture who does act more emotional) he really had no idea what's appropriate and so just goes for what he feels is honest. :)

[potatoe1988]

Aww! I'm so excited for so many things. I'm really looking forward to seeing the beginning of their relationship again. Even if you've changed nothing, it's been so long since I last read it that I can only remember the general outline of events.

[teromain]

Naw, stuff has definitely changed around, mostly in the second book. Making it both more natural and more awkward at the same time, if that even makes sense. I'm excited to share those changes though for sure

[potatoe1988]

At its most natural, new romance is always awkward.

[teromain]

Yup. Stuff in the first book generally much happens the same, only just rewritten better, but the second book really has moved things around quite a bit. The way it is now, they;re kind of too comfortable with each other too quickly, so. That's changed