These past couple years have been some of the best and some of the worst years of my life. You came and you went and throughout the entire time I never once doubted my feelings for you. I never in my wildest dreams thought I could ever feel this way about someone without them feeling it back, but alas here we are. Tell me you don't feel this way. Tell me I don't feel your eyes on me. Tell me that there is nothing between us. For so long I thought maybe, just maybe, but then she came. You broke my heart. You broke my fucking heart and I find it impossible for you not to have realized it. You tell me all the time that you don't love her that you don't even like her, but you continue to call her yours. WHY CAN'T I BE YOURS? You are forever mine. Completely, absolutely, wholly my own. I loved you even when you were a complete asshole to me. When you forgot my name, when you ignored me. And now things are different. We talk, a lot actually. We have so much in common in almost scares me to think I have found you at such a young age. When I look into your eyes and you look into mine I find it absurd that you cannot feel what I feel. I could break down and cry any moment just thinking of you. I may sound crazy, but I know that in my heart, my mind, and my soul, this is right. Things have been bad lately, you know? For the both of us. I know. And I sit and I think about it and I realize that if anything came out of this life of mine, if anything good, ANYTHING perfect, it was you. And I want to die sometimes but I can't because I know now that if I were to die you would be that much less able to go on. We are best friends. Best friends and yet I still cannot muster the courage to lay it all out for you. I just hope, pray, wish, that on one of these days when we're alone in the park and you look into my eyes and I am screaming everything inside my head...that you get it. That you understand how much you mean to me. How much you destroy me and at the same time how you're the only thing keeping my alive. I love you...and even that doesn't sum it all up. I love you. I love you. I love you.
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