Sad News
Yesterday I received an email from my wife saying that two friends of ours are getting a divorce.
I am deeply saddened to hear this. I was here when the two of them were dating, and I attended their wedding (and later temple sealing). We would attend church together, and we had them over at our home for dinner & games from time to time, until they moved to a different town. I always thought they were a promising, talented young couple.
And now this.
It would be easy to say that I'm angry that this happened, that they made stupid mistakes that could have easily been prevented, but I'm not angry. I'm worried, honestly. I sincerely hope that they can get some help and counseling, and perhaps save their marriage. But the larger picture is what it says to me about how easily a good marriage can be screwed up.
Love, kindness, understanding, devotion, hard work, faithfulness, sacrifice: these are the hallmarks of a good marriage. I'm sure that the vast majority of marriages start with these in place. However, I see how easy it is to slip into complacency and routine, to let little things fall by the wayside as a couple becomes "comfortable" in their marriage. Then, something slips in, be it boredom with routine, annoyance with little things your spouse does/doesn't do, pressures of life/finances/work, or whatever it may be.
These aren't marriage-killers, to be certain. But they are things that tend to fester over time. If these things aren't discussed and addressed by the couple, then that festering can eventually turn into one or both seeking happiness/relief from someone or something other than their spouse.
In the words of Dr. Phil, everyone needs a "soft place to fall." A place where it's okay to let down your guard, to be vulnerable, to be able to discuss/vent feelings where you know you won't be ridiculed or attacked. I sincerely believe that 'soft place' should be your spouse.
I step back and ask myself: Am I that soft place to fall for my wife? Do I sincerely listen and make myself available to her?
Just my thoughts.
I am deeply saddened to hear this. I was here when the two of them were dating, and I attended their wedding (and later temple sealing). We would attend church together, and we had them over at our home for dinner & games from time to time, until they moved to a different town. I always thought they were a promising, talented young couple.
And now this.
It would be easy to say that I'm angry that this happened, that they made stupid mistakes that could have easily been prevented, but I'm not angry. I'm worried, honestly. I sincerely hope that they can get some help and counseling, and perhaps save their marriage. But the larger picture is what it says to me about how easily a good marriage can be screwed up.
Love, kindness, understanding, devotion, hard work, faithfulness, sacrifice: these are the hallmarks of a good marriage. I'm sure that the vast majority of marriages start with these in place. However, I see how easy it is to slip into complacency and routine, to let little things fall by the wayside as a couple becomes "comfortable" in their marriage. Then, something slips in, be it boredom with routine, annoyance with little things your spouse does/doesn't do, pressures of life/finances/work, or whatever it may be.
These aren't marriage-killers, to be certain. But they are things that tend to fester over time. If these things aren't discussed and addressed by the couple, then that festering can eventually turn into one or both seeking happiness/relief from someone or something other than their spouse.
In the words of Dr. Phil, everyone needs a "soft place to fall." A place where it's okay to let down your guard, to be vulnerable, to be able to discuss/vent feelings where you know you won't be ridiculed or attacked. I sincerely believe that 'soft place' should be your spouse.
I step back and ask myself: Am I that soft place to fall for my wife? Do I sincerely listen and make myself available to her?
Just my thoughts.