Realization
So, realization is setting in. I'm going to be single again. Being single...I've lost that definition in the back of my mind. I can't seem to fish it out. ALONE? I won't be alone. I'll have Hattie by my side. But its not the same feeling. It'll just be Hattie and I in this small apartment, but we'll manage right? I won't have a break down right? Everything will be fine right?
You know whats really sad? Is when Hattie wakes up in the morning...I get her up from her crib and before she comes down the steps she always says "Hi" because she thinks Shane is on the couch sleeping. She expects Shane to be on the couch sleeping and to see him in the morning...every morning. Now when she gets up in the new apartment she won't see him in the morning at all. You know how heart breaking that is? It's going to be hard trying to explain things to her when she gets older but life goes on huh? I really hope I get my shit together before she hits Kindergarten. I want to live in a better area, with a nice school system. I want to move more south. Seems the further south you go, the nicer the people get. (of course i'd be nice too if the further south you went....*trails off*...) I guess I just can't wait until everything comes into place for me. Then I'll quit my bitchin' and keep on truckin'.
You know whats really sad? Is when Hattie wakes up in the morning...I get her up from her crib and before she comes down the steps she always says "Hi" because she thinks Shane is on the couch sleeping. She expects Shane to be on the couch sleeping and to see him in the morning...every morning. Now when she gets up in the new apartment she won't see him in the morning at all. You know how heart breaking that is? It's going to be hard trying to explain things to her when she gets older but life goes on huh? I really hope I get my shit together before she hits Kindergarten. I want to live in a better area, with a nice school system. I want to move more south. Seems the further south you go, the nicer the people get. (of course i'd be nice too if the further south you went....*trails off*...) I guess I just can't wait until everything comes into place for me. Then I'll quit my bitchin' and keep on truckin'.