more from the exhaustion files
I was actually too tired to post in the morning when I first got up. I woke up from a dream that unexpectedly and randomly turned gory and unpleasant at 4:50 a.m., and it's my new policy that if I wake up and it's after 4 a.m., I get up for the day, no matter how hard it is. (If it's before 4, I am allowed to take something to help me get back to sleep, and face the groggy consequences later.) It's such crap. I want SCARY nightmares, not dreams about innocent, completely stupid toddler girls being maimed by trains because they can't get off the tracks in time. Yeah, thanks, Heroes. I'll take brains next time, thank you. Brains are OK.
I suppose I should be thankful - the show apparently gave me upsetting dreams for once, which means that they're doing their job - but it's really hard to be grateful when every single cell in my body hurts, I have no sense of balance (watch me grabbing for tabletops and door jambs all day) and it's difficult to even breathe. But by God, I came to work, and got the job done that needed to be done before noon, and ... yeah, nobody cares. I want to go home and go back to bed. I want a couple of days where all I do is sleep. I am insanely overstimulated and exhausted, and it's catching up to me, and I don't know when things are going to calm down. Either they will eventually (there is a weekend coming up, of course, even though I have major busy plans for it) or else I'll hit the wall and flame out and have no choice but to go to bed.
So much for exercise mellowing me out and helping me sleep better. I guess it backfired instead.
I suppose I should be thankful - the show apparently gave me upsetting dreams for once, which means that they're doing their job - but it's really hard to be grateful when every single cell in my body hurts, I have no sense of balance (watch me grabbing for tabletops and door jambs all day) and it's difficult to even breathe. But by God, I came to work, and got the job done that needed to be done before noon, and ... yeah, nobody cares. I want to go home and go back to bed. I want a couple of days where all I do is sleep. I am insanely overstimulated and exhausted, and it's catching up to me, and I don't know when things are going to calm down. Either they will eventually (there is a weekend coming up, of course, even though I have major busy plans for it) or else I'll hit the wall and flame out and have no choice but to go to bed.
So much for exercise mellowing me out and helping me sleep better. I guess it backfired instead.