lessons learned of a saturday
1) When there are multiple parties going on on the same night (as they always are) - choose quality and depth over quantity. I went to all the events I had planned to attend (and then some), and I had a good time at all of them, but it does not decrease a sensation of loneliness to keep having to leave. Party-hopping is really only fun when you have companions.
2) If the temperature outside is over 90°, do not attempt to go anywhere more than a few blocks away unless I have a ride. It's too easy for things to go wrong. This is not a moral failing, and does not brand me as weak. There are certain things that I really just shouldn't do, even if I technically can; sometimes the consequences can be unpleasant.
3) (Some of) My neighbors are cool and this summer is actually shaping up to be a really good one. Stay tuned; I think there will be many party happenings out here at the Francis.
4) There are some days when I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to keep my mouth shut. Or at the very least I wish it didn't hurt so much when I get called out on being such a negative, pessimistic piece of shit, and I realize that my casual comments really make people angry. I am trying so hard to change, but it's a gradual process, and it chills me to the bone to consider how many opportunities I've missed or squandered. I guess that getting over that is also part of the process. I just wish I could shut the fuck up sometimes, and just nod and smile instead, but I don't know until it's too late. To everyone, I am sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I will keep working on it. Hot weather strips me of my social inhibitions, and it also makes me feel physically bad, and it's hard for me to either look on the bright side, or at least lie out loud and make it sound like I am. I know that's no excuse; I need to be upbeat at all times, no matter what. I am working on it, honestly.
Brain failure, body failure. I'm going to enjoy the beauty of the day from indoors today (But! anansi133, if you're free today or this evening, call me, or I'll call you later! I have the day entirely to myself, because my broken brain told me I was doing something today and not next Sunday!).
2) If the temperature outside is over 90°, do not attempt to go anywhere more than a few blocks away unless I have a ride. It's too easy for things to go wrong. This is not a moral failing, and does not brand me as weak. There are certain things that I really just shouldn't do, even if I technically can; sometimes the consequences can be unpleasant.
3) (Some of) My neighbors are cool and this summer is actually shaping up to be a really good one. Stay tuned; I think there will be many party happenings out here at the Francis.
4) There are some days when I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to keep my mouth shut. Or at the very least I wish it didn't hurt so much when I get called out on being such a negative, pessimistic piece of shit, and I realize that my casual comments really make people angry. I am trying so hard to change, but it's a gradual process, and it chills me to the bone to consider how many opportunities I've missed or squandered. I guess that getting over that is also part of the process. I just wish I could shut the fuck up sometimes, and just nod and smile instead, but I don't know until it's too late. To everyone, I am sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I will keep working on it. Hot weather strips me of my social inhibitions, and it also makes me feel physically bad, and it's hard for me to either look on the bright side, or at least lie out loud and make it sound like I am. I know that's no excuse; I need to be upbeat at all times, no matter what. I am working on it, honestly.
Brain failure, body failure. I'm going to enjoy the beauty of the day from indoors today (But! anansi133, if you're free today or this evening, call me, or I'll call you later! I have the day entirely to myself, because my broken brain told me I was doing something today and not next Sunday!).