Heroes 2x06: "The Line" (heroes_meta)
Once again, I've probably missed the heroes_meta posting deadline, but I've got a job to do anyway.
"The Line" is an okay episode - not as good as last week's, but still with plenty of its own special pleasures.
Unfortunately, one of the pleasures is not NATHAN. No Nathan! A Nathan-free week! Ain't no sunshine when he's gone. (No Elle, Maury, or Angela, either. Boooo!) Oh well, I'll make the best of it. But it's hard to do - this episode had some things happen, but it still seems excessively slow-moving. Almost every story has "let's do this - NO! Don't! - well, okay, let's do it anyway." I really don't understand what happened. Why are they dragging everything out like this? I genuinely cannot imagine a purpose for that mode of storytelling at all. The clunky scripts last year were made up for because so much information got imparted in that telegraphic dialogue, but this year there seems to be a deliberate padding of perfectly good, interesting stories in such a way that drains all the tension out of them. I hate to say things like this, but maybe the writer's strike is good for it - if the problems with this show are the result of sheer fatigue, then maybe everyone can take a bunch of time off to regroup and really think about the stories they want to tell, and how to do them.
Anyway, I still care about the stories, and everyone's just as fucking sexy as they always have been, so I'm still here. (They could make with more of the ambiguously gay, though... just sayin'.)
Somehow, since last week, Peter figured out that Elle-ectricity is responsible for BBQ Ricky, and Caitlin's gotten ahold of herself after Ricky's death (real well, too - Irish stoicism in the face of death? Whatever.) She invites herself along on Peter's trip to Montreal (which SHE demands that he go on... *sigh*) so she can "kill the bitch". Oh, yeah, right - that ought to be a good one. Elle is going to frizzle Caity like a slice of bacon. Mmmm, bacon.
So Pete and Cait go to Montreal, find the warehouse that Peter painted (good work, you guys... how long did that take you? How much time is this episode supposed to depict?), and go inside. It's full of antiques and stuff. Peter is not jazzed. Cait is not smart. "What is this place?" she chirps, like he's going to tell her "Oh, this is Shea Stadium, and the Beatles are about to hit the stage, you silly bitch." He instead gives his standard response: "I dunno." (Good Lord, the actual Peter diverges from my mental image of Peter so much they are hardly the same character at all. Poop. Suffice it to say that my Peter is a bit smarter, or at least doesn't state the obvious 24/7.) He finds a note addressed to him stuck to a mirror, and once again explains for the blind, "Someone knew I was coming." Caitlin looks at him like he's ... well, I'm not sure what that look is supposed to represent. Adoring, or doubting his sanity, or whatever, maybe both. All I have to say is that she's over Ricky really fast. I think Peter has a Magical Antidepressant Penis. (Nathan needs you, kiddo...) The beautifully-handwritten note reads "We were right about The Company. The World is in danger. It's up to Us. Adam." (Capitalized letters theirs. Maybe he's from the time of Dickens.) Peter hems and haws - he knows nothing (yeah, we got that, Shorty) - and kvetches, "The world is in danger. Whaddam I s'posed to do?" Caitlin is optimistic, and gives him a hug, for which I can't blame her. He has a magical penis, after all. Peter holds her and moans, "Please tell me who I am. What the future holds."
And whoosh, just like that, he's bent space and time and brought them to a deserted, pre-Guiliani-filthy Times Square. Peter correctly identifies that they are in New York, which means that he has a very selective amnesia. Caitlin is wearing a totally marvelous coat, by the way. Pete picks up a flier that reads:
"EVACUATION NOTICE: JUNE 14, 2008" (thanks for waiting until after my birthday, I appreciate it)
"MANDATED EVACUATION ORDER - PLEASE USE THE FOLLOWING EVACUATION ROUTES TO LEAVE THE CITY IMMEDIATELY"
(Screencap on Heroeswiki.)
Peter says, "June 2008. This is next year!" Give the man a genius grant! But... I can't hate on him. He's too beautiful. But I'm real close to signing him up for some Baby Einstein or something.
Claire is FUCKING UP. She gets onto the cheerleading squad by the most underhanded, Westy means - he talks her into a scheme to terrorize the head Cheer Bitch during a drunken hazing ritual where she writes each new cheerleader's weight on her forehead with a marker, in between pulls off her bottle of Southern Comfort. So West puts on a ski mask, snatches Claire up from the ground, flies up with her, and then drops her on the concrete steps, killing the heck out of her. Then he flies after Cheer Bitch in a way that brings to mind the cover of Rex Mundi #6, widely considered (or at least at my job) to be one of the worst comic book covers of all time. I wasn't happy to see it here, either. Cheer Bitch freaks, obviously, and calls the cops, who then just see a drunk teenager ranting about what seems like a hallucination when the unharmed Claire walks up and is all "Hi, not dead." Cheer Bitch gets suspended, and Claire's on the team. THIS SUCKS. I hate this storyline like hemorrhoids, and I hate West even more than I did before (even if he is extremely cute). He's bad news and I want him DEAD and away from Claire before I start to hate her. DO NOT WANT.
In a Company facility in upstate New York, Monica's doing gymnastics while Mohinder studies her and is gorgeous. Then Bob tells Mo that he's supposed to test out a powers-suppressing serum on her, which Mo petulantly (and pointlessly and destructively) refuses to do. Like Bob's going to accept that. Mohinder really doesn't get the whole point of the Company, does he? You do what you're told, or they kill your ass. What's so complex about that?
You know, I wonder if they already tested the serum on Sylar, and that's why his abilities don't work no more.
Anyway, Mo gives the still coma'ed out Molly a kiss, and then Bob comes and sweet-talks Mo, begging him to straighten up and fly right. Also Bob gives us the drop on the Big Bad Dangerous Guy who they're now facing - a certain Adam Monroe (the same one who was leaving Peter notes and making him jump through time... or whatever). Bob even lays the "we need an idealist like you to keep us in line" jazz on Mo, which Mo always falls for. Damn fool egotistical do-gooder - they so often do more harm than good.
Bob takes Monica home, and gives her the iPod of power (a 60-gig one, I assume) that has a whole bunch of neat things for her to learn on it. So... what's the deal there? Did she get the serum or not?
Whatever. Here's Niki - well, it's Jessica, obviously - and now she's been assigned to be Mohinder's partner. That is actually full of awesome. Time to write fic about those two getting together (which would, of course, be hot).
Mo calls his boyfriend Bennet, who is still not wearing a hat or scarf in wintertime Ukraine (the Haitian Sensation at least shivers and looks annoyed and impatient, eager to begin the torturin') and complains that the Company are a bunch of big meanies. Oh, fuck yeah, they are. The spectacularly multilingual copy shop god Bennet and the Sensation go to find Ivan, a Company operative with a devoted wife and a kid with a lot of hair gel, and who apparently (somehow! RETCON MUCH) was actually Bennet's Jedi Master at the Company. (Whither Claude?...) Bennet and the Sensation give him a beatdown, tie him to a chair, and torture him by selectively removing his most precious memories. Ivan breaks and gives up the location of the Death Series paintings, and then, to thank him, Bennet gives him A CAP TO THE DOME. Boo-ya! Bye, Ivan. (Best scene of the episode, once again provided by Bennet shooting someone in the face. I'd watch the show if it was nothing but that.)
Magically, it's daytime in Ukraine at the same time as it's daytime in California. GODDAMMIT, SHOW! All I ask is a little bit of effort! Bah.
Bennet and the Haitian Sensation go find the other Tim Sale... er Isaac Mendez paintings in the series of 8 (oddly enough, they don't explicitly depict the deaths of the remaining Original Company folks, but instead are a hand holding a test tube, a very freaked-out looking [and scar-faced] Peter [and what looks a bit like Sylar right behind him], Niki screaming and pounding on a door, Claire "dead" on the steps, Hiro battling Kensei [6/8], someone that could be Mohinder bugging out his eyes and holding a smoking gun [7/8], and Bennet with the bullet in his eye). Bennet wonders aloud, "What does it mean?" It means that there's only five episodes left, yo, so we'd better get some data soon. More on the paintings from Heroeswiki - god, I am that site's bitch. I should give them money.
Meanwhile, in the desert, Sweaty Sylar sweet-talks Maya, Alejandro glowers, they make a very stupid border crossing (making Maya black-oil a bunch of border vigilantes to escape). Al and Sylar fight in the least-convincingly-urgent way imaginable, and Sylar gloats to Al that Maya's his "shiny new toy". You know what would make this storyline better? You guessed it - hot gay sex. Oh well, there isn't any. Sylar, please be reunited with Mohinder soon, or something. This storyline is also really not good, and as much as Zachary Quinto is exceptional at polishing turds, it's still a turd. FIX IT. Justify this whole thing. Please.
In 1671, Yaeko has finaly learned how to color inside the lines, and also figures out that the "Sword Saint" that she's been falling in love with is actually Hiro-kun. Yay! Hiro and Yaeko make a love connection. They smooch. It's really kind of cute - and Masi Oka does a wonderful job - but Kensei sees them smooching, gets jealous, and (I assume) sells them out to White Beard. (Or maybe he was working with White Beard all along?) It's like I always say - never trust Whitey! Kensei clocks Hiro on the head and walks off with Yaeko and her dad in chains. Good - that's what Hiro gets for not caring about breaking history, all because he wants to make kissy-face with a girl. Anyway, that's the end of the scrolls, so now Hiro's on his own, and we may or may not ever see Ando again. Something tells me that Ando was supposed to have died last season. Poor James Kyson Lee.
And you know what? That's it. And now we find out that "Chapter Two: Generations" might comprise the entirety of Season 2, because of the writer's strike. All I have to say is that the next five episodes had better be fantastic, or I am going to be seriously pissed off at this program. Because I love it too much to turn it loose, and it's still better than Lost, but Pushing Daisies is embarrassing it every single week and my heart breaks more and more with each episode of each show. Goddamn you, Bryan Fuller, why must you giveth and then taketh away? And Goddamn you, Tim Kring, for either not noticing that this season was slack, or not doing anything about it if you did?
OK, enough ranting. The honeymoon is over, and he leaves his underwear all over the bathroom floor, and also drinks too much. But I flirt heavily with other men on a regular basis and I'm a horrible nag, but we still come home to each other every night, so is the relationship in trouble, or is this just a rough patch? (This is just a metaphor, folks; I'm not really married to a TV show. Not really.)
I just wish - SO HARD - that I was writing this show instead. I really do. I'd do it better, I guarantee it. I will be cranking out some more fanfic, you better believe, when I get a chance - there are so many stories that it looks like they aren't going to tell, so I might as well roll up my sleeves. Who wants to find out about Angela's affair with Kaito? (ME! ME!)
Roll on Monday at 9!
"The Line" is an okay episode - not as good as last week's, but still with plenty of its own special pleasures.
Unfortunately, one of the pleasures is not NATHAN. No Nathan! A Nathan-free week! Ain't no sunshine when he's gone. (No Elle, Maury, or Angela, either. Boooo!) Oh well, I'll make the best of it. But it's hard to do - this episode had some things happen, but it still seems excessively slow-moving. Almost every story has "let's do this - NO! Don't! - well, okay, let's do it anyway." I really don't understand what happened. Why are they dragging everything out like this? I genuinely cannot imagine a purpose for that mode of storytelling at all. The clunky scripts last year were made up for because so much information got imparted in that telegraphic dialogue, but this year there seems to be a deliberate padding of perfectly good, interesting stories in such a way that drains all the tension out of them. I hate to say things like this, but maybe the writer's strike is good for it - if the problems with this show are the result of sheer fatigue, then maybe everyone can take a bunch of time off to regroup and really think about the stories they want to tell, and how to do them.
Anyway, I still care about the stories, and everyone's just as fucking sexy as they always have been, so I'm still here. (They could make with more of the ambiguously gay, though... just sayin'.)
Somehow, since last week, Peter figured out that Elle-ectricity is responsible for BBQ Ricky, and Caitlin's gotten ahold of herself after Ricky's death (real well, too - Irish stoicism in the face of death? Whatever.) She invites herself along on Peter's trip to Montreal (which SHE demands that he go on... *sigh*) so she can "kill the bitch". Oh, yeah, right - that ought to be a good one. Elle is going to frizzle Caity like a slice of bacon. Mmmm, bacon.
So Pete and Cait go to Montreal, find the warehouse that Peter painted (good work, you guys... how long did that take you? How much time is this episode supposed to depict?), and go inside. It's full of antiques and stuff. Peter is not jazzed. Cait is not smart. "What is this place?" she chirps, like he's going to tell her "Oh, this is Shea Stadium, and the Beatles are about to hit the stage, you silly bitch." He instead gives his standard response: "I dunno." (Good Lord, the actual Peter diverges from my mental image of Peter so much they are hardly the same character at all. Poop. Suffice it to say that my Peter is a bit smarter, or at least doesn't state the obvious 24/7.) He finds a note addressed to him stuck to a mirror, and once again explains for the blind, "Someone knew I was coming." Caitlin looks at him like he's ... well, I'm not sure what that look is supposed to represent. Adoring, or doubting his sanity, or whatever, maybe both. All I have to say is that she's over Ricky really fast. I think Peter has a Magical Antidepressant Penis. (Nathan needs you, kiddo...) The beautifully-handwritten note reads "We were right about The Company. The World is in danger. It's up to Us. Adam." (Capitalized letters theirs. Maybe he's from the time of Dickens.) Peter hems and haws - he knows nothing (yeah, we got that, Shorty) - and kvetches, "The world is in danger. Whaddam I s'posed to do?" Caitlin is optimistic, and gives him a hug, for which I can't blame her. He has a magical penis, after all. Peter holds her and moans, "Please tell me who I am. What the future holds."
And whoosh, just like that, he's bent space and time and brought them to a deserted, pre-Guiliani-filthy Times Square. Peter correctly identifies that they are in New York, which means that he has a very selective amnesia. Caitlin is wearing a totally marvelous coat, by the way. Pete picks up a flier that reads:
"EVACUATION NOTICE: JUNE 14, 2008" (thanks for waiting until after my birthday, I appreciate it)
"MANDATED EVACUATION ORDER - PLEASE USE THE FOLLOWING EVACUATION ROUTES TO LEAVE THE CITY IMMEDIATELY"
(Screencap on Heroeswiki.)
Peter says, "June 2008. This is next year!" Give the man a genius grant! But... I can't hate on him. He's too beautiful. But I'm real close to signing him up for some Baby Einstein or something.
Claire is FUCKING UP. She gets onto the cheerleading squad by the most underhanded, Westy means - he talks her into a scheme to terrorize the head Cheer Bitch during a drunken hazing ritual where she writes each new cheerleader's weight on her forehead with a marker, in between pulls off her bottle of Southern Comfort. So West puts on a ski mask, snatches Claire up from the ground, flies up with her, and then drops her on the concrete steps, killing the heck out of her. Then he flies after Cheer Bitch in a way that brings to mind the cover of Rex Mundi #6, widely considered (or at least at my job) to be one of the worst comic book covers of all time. I wasn't happy to see it here, either. Cheer Bitch freaks, obviously, and calls the cops, who then just see a drunk teenager ranting about what seems like a hallucination when the unharmed Claire walks up and is all "Hi, not dead." Cheer Bitch gets suspended, and Claire's on the team. THIS SUCKS. I hate this storyline like hemorrhoids, and I hate West even more than I did before (even if he is extremely cute). He's bad news and I want him DEAD and away from Claire before I start to hate her. DO NOT WANT.
In a Company facility in upstate New York, Monica's doing gymnastics while Mohinder studies her and is gorgeous. Then Bob tells Mo that he's supposed to test out a powers-suppressing serum on her, which Mo petulantly (and pointlessly and destructively) refuses to do. Like Bob's going to accept that. Mohinder really doesn't get the whole point of the Company, does he? You do what you're told, or they kill your ass. What's so complex about that?
You know, I wonder if they already tested the serum on Sylar, and that's why his abilities don't work no more.
Anyway, Mo gives the still coma'ed out Molly a kiss, and then Bob comes and sweet-talks Mo, begging him to straighten up and fly right. Also Bob gives us the drop on the Big Bad Dangerous Guy who they're now facing - a certain Adam Monroe (the same one who was leaving Peter notes and making him jump through time... or whatever). Bob even lays the "we need an idealist like you to keep us in line" jazz on Mo, which Mo always falls for. Damn fool egotistical do-gooder - they so often do more harm than good.
Bob takes Monica home, and gives her the iPod of power (a 60-gig one, I assume) that has a whole bunch of neat things for her to learn on it. So... what's the deal there? Did she get the serum or not?
Whatever. Here's Niki - well, it's Jessica, obviously - and now she's been assigned to be Mohinder's partner. That is actually full of awesome. Time to write fic about those two getting together (which would, of course, be hot).
Mo calls his boyfriend Bennet, who is still not wearing a hat or scarf in wintertime Ukraine (the Haitian Sensation at least shivers and looks annoyed and impatient, eager to begin the torturin') and complains that the Company are a bunch of big meanies. Oh, fuck yeah, they are. The spectacularly multilingual copy shop god Bennet and the Sensation go to find Ivan, a Company operative with a devoted wife and a kid with a lot of hair gel, and who apparently (somehow! RETCON MUCH) was actually Bennet's Jedi Master at the Company. (Whither Claude?...) Bennet and the Sensation give him a beatdown, tie him to a chair, and torture him by selectively removing his most precious memories. Ivan breaks and gives up the location of the Death Series paintings, and then, to thank him, Bennet gives him A CAP TO THE DOME. Boo-ya! Bye, Ivan. (Best scene of the episode, once again provided by Bennet shooting someone in the face. I'd watch the show if it was nothing but that.)
Magically, it's daytime in Ukraine at the same time as it's daytime in California. GODDAMMIT, SHOW! All I ask is a little bit of effort! Bah.
Bennet and the Haitian Sensation go find the other Tim Sale... er Isaac Mendez paintings in the series of 8 (oddly enough, they don't explicitly depict the deaths of the remaining Original Company folks, but instead are a hand holding a test tube, a very freaked-out looking [and scar-faced] Peter [and what looks a bit like Sylar right behind him], Niki screaming and pounding on a door, Claire "dead" on the steps, Hiro battling Kensei [6/8], someone that could be Mohinder bugging out his eyes and holding a smoking gun [7/8], and Bennet with the bullet in his eye). Bennet wonders aloud, "What does it mean?" It means that there's only five episodes left, yo, so we'd better get some data soon. More on the paintings from Heroeswiki - god, I am that site's bitch. I should give them money.
Meanwhile, in the desert, Sweaty Sylar sweet-talks Maya, Alejandro glowers, they make a very stupid border crossing (making Maya black-oil a bunch of border vigilantes to escape). Al and Sylar fight in the least-convincingly-urgent way imaginable, and Sylar gloats to Al that Maya's his "shiny new toy". You know what would make this storyline better? You guessed it - hot gay sex. Oh well, there isn't any. Sylar, please be reunited with Mohinder soon, or something. This storyline is also really not good, and as much as Zachary Quinto is exceptional at polishing turds, it's still a turd. FIX IT. Justify this whole thing. Please.
In 1671, Yaeko has finaly learned how to color inside the lines, and also figures out that the "Sword Saint" that she's been falling in love with is actually Hiro-kun. Yay! Hiro and Yaeko make a love connection. They smooch. It's really kind of cute - and Masi Oka does a wonderful job - but Kensei sees them smooching, gets jealous, and (I assume) sells them out to White Beard. (Or maybe he was working with White Beard all along?) It's like I always say - never trust Whitey! Kensei clocks Hiro on the head and walks off with Yaeko and her dad in chains. Good - that's what Hiro gets for not caring about breaking history, all because he wants to make kissy-face with a girl. Anyway, that's the end of the scrolls, so now Hiro's on his own, and we may or may not ever see Ando again. Something tells me that Ando was supposed to have died last season. Poor James Kyson Lee.
And you know what? That's it. And now we find out that "Chapter Two: Generations" might comprise the entirety of Season 2, because of the writer's strike. All I have to say is that the next five episodes had better be fantastic, or I am going to be seriously pissed off at this program. Because I love it too much to turn it loose, and it's still better than Lost, but Pushing Daisies is embarrassing it every single week and my heart breaks more and more with each episode of each show. Goddamn you, Bryan Fuller, why must you giveth and then taketh away? And Goddamn you, Tim Kring, for either not noticing that this season was slack, or not doing anything about it if you did?
OK, enough ranting. The honeymoon is over, and he leaves his underwear all over the bathroom floor, and also drinks too much. But I flirt heavily with other men on a regular basis and I'm a horrible nag, but we still come home to each other every night, so is the relationship in trouble, or is this just a rough patch? (This is just a metaphor, folks; I'm not really married to a TV show. Not really.)
I just wish - SO HARD - that I was writing this show instead. I really do. I'd do it better, I guarantee it. I will be cranking out some more fanfic, you better believe, when I get a chance - there are so many stories that it looks like they aren't going to tell, so I might as well roll up my sleeves. Who wants to find out about Angela's affair with Kaito? (ME! ME!)
Roll on Monday at 9!