la raza
Struggling to regain the happiness that I felt at 8:30 last night. Trying really hard. Maybe I need to whip out my 'Pod and listen to Biz Markie for a minute. Or something.
I am beginning to get really scared about money. I don't know what I'm going to do; get a second job, I guess. But when? On the weekends? How long could I keep it up? Am I in a place now where I can do entirely without seeing my friends (literally, pretty much not seeing them at all, ever) or being able to write, read, or watch TV? Life as work and sleep, and those precious moments when I'm getting to and from the job, and I can listen to music for half an hour or so? I've done it before, and it wasn't so bad. But I didn't have any friends then.
I love my job. I don't want to change that. If I can just hang on until I no longer have to heat my home, things might start to get a little better. I'll be so happy when my gas bill is less than ten dollars a month. Oh, tax return, come to me soon. And in the meantime, selling every saleable book I have, selling as much clothing as I can, anything to avoid having to sell my stereo, my TV, or my laptop. (Even though, technically, as soon as I can get a moving truck, I won't need my laptop... but I luff him.)
God, I wish I made royalties. Writing would be so much more awesome if I actually made money at it.
I am beginning to get really scared about money. I don't know what I'm going to do; get a second job, I guess. But when? On the weekends? How long could I keep it up? Am I in a place now where I can do entirely without seeing my friends (literally, pretty much not seeing them at all, ever) or being able to write, read, or watch TV? Life as work and sleep, and those precious moments when I'm getting to and from the job, and I can listen to music for half an hour or so? I've done it before, and it wasn't so bad. But I didn't have any friends then.
I love my job. I don't want to change that. If I can just hang on until I no longer have to heat my home, things might start to get a little better. I'll be so happy when my gas bill is less than ten dollars a month. Oh, tax return, come to me soon. And in the meantime, selling every saleable book I have, selling as much clothing as I can, anything to avoid having to sell my stereo, my TV, or my laptop. (Even though, technically, as soon as I can get a moving truck, I won't need my laptop... but I luff him.)
God, I wish I made royalties. Writing would be so much more awesome if I actually made money at it.